To be annoyed that we have to have SC

[miltonkeeyno]

Every week dp has his dd for a few hours in the week (as well as every weekend) she is currently off school self isolating as someone in her class was positive. Her mum doesn't have to isolate unless she shows signs.
Tomorrow we are due to have her over but i assumed because she was self isolating we weren't. DP rang her mum to ask and she said she is working so we are.

Is it all fine and nothing to worry about?

Or are we getting screwed over because she has to work?

Maybe i dont understand the rules and its ok but seems to me like self isolating means.... to self isolate...

Well I disagree. It suggests a deliberate act to make difficult or unpleasant, not an unfortunate situation that is no one's fault.

@HugeAckmansWife

Well I disagree. It suggests a deliberate act to make difficult or unpleasant, not an unfortunate situation that is no one's fault.

Well if you believe that it's against the rules to move children between households when they are isolating, then it would appear to be a deliberate act. It's a bit of a leap to infer from that that it's a deeply offensive deliberate act, that forces OP to spend time with the SC she clearly despises.

I never said any of that.. Please don't make me the spokesperson for all the posters who think the op was out of line. I can only speak to my own comments. I still think it was weird way to express annoyance at a fairly neutral situation and what would have been a normal Contact visits

@HugeAckmansWife

I never said any of that.. Please don't make me the spokesperson for all the posters who think the op was out of line. I can only speak to my own comments. I still think it was weird way to express annoyance at a fairly neutral situation and what would have been a normal Contact visits

If you don't think something offensive to either the mum or the SC was implied by OPs use of the words "screwed over" then there was really no reason at all to describe her as "deeply unpleasant", but ok 🤷‍♀️

I do think it was offensive to say screwed over. That's why I said she sounded unpleasant. But it seems to have been extrapolated from that that I automatically hate step parents and always think they are wrong. Which I don't, but in this case the sentiment or phrasing was off and I'm not surprised it provoked a "pile on'. This is all besides the point though. There is seemingly disagreement about the law on SI and I don't know them, but it would be nice to hear a Co parent and step parent supporting an RP in this situation where they can, rather than bitching about it.

Could your DP go to her mum's house and look after the SD there and he can then be really careful over hygiene etc, rather than potentially exposing all of you. It would reduce the risk.

The child is isolating as a precaution. Give her mother the support she needs to work, it is unreasonable for her to bear all the responsibility and potential loss of earnings.

a child is allowed and even encouraged to pass between its two parents because the risk to the child and the parents is teeny and the benefits far outweigh the risks

Not when they could potentially have Covid. The risk is obviously not teeny then hence the need to isolate.

I've already said my DSS tested positive after one positive case in his class. The risk had he moved between homes wouldn't have been teeny would it.

Risk of them getting it, not teeny not but not definite, risk of them being v v ill, teeny. We have to stop eviscerating all of our societal norms for this and get on with things. Kids cannot continue to be in and out of school like Jack in the boxes and parents subsequently in and out of work. It's disproportionate at this stage.

Xh and I run a business together and work in it together. Dd1 has to self isolate due to contact, she was at his when told so she's staying there for the duration, with dd2, despite us being 50/50. I'm running the business and have had to bring back staff off furlough. We all just do what we need to do in these situations, although I am very much enjoying not working with xh for a week!

@HugeAckmansWife

Risk of them getting it, not teeny not but not definite, risk of them being v v ill, teeny. We have to stop eviscerating all of our societal norms for this and get on with things. Kids cannot continue to be in and out of school like Jack in the boxes and parents subsequently in and out of work. It's disproportionate at this stage.

I think that's a seperate argument to the children swapping homes whilst isolating. Why should the family who don't currently have child take on the risk just because eventually we will all have to live with the risk of dying?

@PrattATatt

a child is allowed and even encouraged to pass between its two parents because the risk to the child and the parents is teeny and the benefits far outweigh the risks

Not when they could potentially have Covid. The risk is obviously not teeny then hence the need to isolate.

I've already said my DSS tested positive after one positive case in his class. The risk had he moved between homes wouldn't have been teeny would it.

I tried that argument but was told i was over reacting. I don't think the child would benefit from making both parents really ill but I got shot down. Step parents should just grin and bare the risk it seems..

'why should both families take the risk'? Because the RP has borne the bulk of the brunt of this shit show if contact is only eow and one teatime a week. Because the risk, unless there are vulnerabilities, is really not that great. The child IS 50% the responsibility of the nrp. If the step parent doesnt fancy being part of that they have to draw their own boundaries with the parent or not be in a blended family. This has been going on for a year. The nrp, following normal Contact will have only had the child for a very small % of that year so odds are any prior isolation, home schooling would have fallen to the RP, with all the accompanying disruption and restrictions to working patterns. But wow yes, the RP is cheeky as fuck for wanting to go to work and follow normal Contact.

@PrattATatt

Is there any clear official guidance yet?

Yes there has been for a long time. That moving between two parents households isn't a reason to break isolation.

It's not about helping one parent with work or who does more of what and when. It's about ISOLATING a possible case of Coronavirus and not transmitting it round multiple households and then outward from there i.e. multiple workplaces, schools etc...

It happened twice to my DSC. One of the times they were with us and stayed with us. What would have been the point of potentially passing it over to their mum, her husband, their kids, who could then take it to their work, to their school etc...

That's not what the current guidelines state: “there are a limited number of circumstances where an individual may leave self-isolation, including where there is a need to fulfil a legal obligation or it becomes impracticable to remain at the original address provided for self-isolation. These circumstances may apply where there are legal arrangements governing the time a child spends with each parent.”

The government does not go further than this, although it makes clear that each scenario is different for every family.