To be annoyed that we have to have SC

[miltonkeeyno]

Every week dp has his dd for a few hours in the week (as well as every weekend) she is currently off school self isolating as someone in her class was positive. Her mum doesn't have to isolate unless she shows signs.
Tomorrow we are due to have her over but i assumed because she was self isolating we weren't. DP rang her mum to ask and she said she is working so we are.

Is it all fine and nothing to worry about?

Or are we getting screwed over because she has to work?

Maybe i dont understand the rules and its ok but seems to me like self isolating means.... to self isolate...

@KoalaLlama

I think OP that by ‘screwing us over’ OP means ‘potentially exposing us to Covid’ not ‘requiring us to provide childcare’. But let’s not let a little common sense stop us from casting a woman in the role of wicked stepmother, eh...

Honestly, i thought it was clear what i meant by it. After a year of covid we dont want to take any chances. I love my dsd to bits and want her over as much as poss.

Im purely thinking of

1. My child getting covid
2. Us having to take time off work
3. Us getting covid

Why are people so mean haha

@lunar1

I honestly think children should stay in whichever home they get notified in. There is no point potentially exposing more people than necessary.

Thats what makes the most sense

@EnoughnowIthink

are we getting screwed over because she has to work?

What if she didn’t work? Presumably you would have something derogatory to say about that?

Did mum shoulder the burden of lockdown childcare?

Maybe you shouldn't call childcare a burden thats not very nice. Bad parenting!

We can all judge!!

Moral of the story is if my child was self isolating i wouldnt send them to their dads especially if they had a kid in the house.

Consideration.

We all have to work, we all make money. We all parent. Why are one persons needs greater than anothers?

@Aprilx

Children do not have to self isolate from their own parents. You are being ridiculous!

Oh are parents immune? Fab i didnt realise that

I agree with op, if you are all working, why is mums work more important than you or your DP. Typical Mumsnet pile on

Mumsnet has never been kind to step parents. I agree that a lot of posters have jumped the gun here and are projecting onto the OP.

@whatsontonight

I agree with op, if you are all working, why is mums work more important than you or your DP. Typical Mumsnet pile on

Because Mum's work is this weekend. When her DC wouldn't normally be with her. When the parent who normally has her is not working.

@TeenMinusTests

I think we have had this before, and the answer was that a child with 2 homes can move between them despite self isolating. I may be wrong though as I'm not in that position.

Nope this is correct. If a child loves between 2 households by law they can move between them even if positive with Covid. Both households should isolate in these cases. Sister has daughter who she co parents and this was checked and confirmed with her solicitor as the dad was being a not very nice person when this happened a few months ago.

@whatsontonight

I agree with op, if you are all working, why is mums work more important than you or your DP. Typical Mumsnet pile on

Dad normally has her at that time so presumably isn't working.

He's her Dad and equally responsible.

The only one that would appear to be getting screwed over is the mum who is doing the bulk of the parenting

Children are allowed to move between their parents homes while in isolation. I think the caveat is not if they have to go on public transport though.

Why is it fathers are suddenly not responsible when their child is ill, has nits, is difficult
, has SEN?
Thats all I see on the SP board. Women complaining about how children are ruining their perfect life. How the children being ill is a personal attack designed to ruin family time.
How the ex wife dare work/have a life despite doing 80% of the parenting. While super dad manages 18 hours parenting 8n 14 days.

OP my ex got covid while he had our DC. He was very ill so I obviously took them to allow him to recover. During that time I had to isolate from my dying father an elderly mother and my partner.

Shit happens. Children are inconvenient.

We all have to work, we all make money. We all parent. Why are one persons needs greater than anothers?

Hang on isn't her mum doing 13 days and her dad being asked to do 1 day? I'm really struggling to fathom how you can frame that as her mum screwing you over or her needs taking precedence over yours.

If your child and SD were full siblings living together FT, your child would still have to go to school because she would be at such a low risk. I don't think them being in the same household for a few hours is the end of the world. Do all the stuff everyone has to do when looking after self isolating children - separate rooms where possible, open windows when you need to be together etc. It's only for a few hours, it's not a disaster or an unreasonable request.

@LordOfTheOnionRings

Mumsnet has never been kind to step parents. I agree that a lot of posters have jumped the gun here and are projecting onto the OP.

I think it was the way the OP was worded. Combine that with some of the natural prejudice around MN and it's been interpreted in ways that wasn't intended.

But I can certainly see how it was interpreted the wrong way.

Quite. If the op had simply asked, 'should normal Contact visits happen if a child is a close contact SI'? the answers would have been very different. Saying you have to have her because the mum is working and you're being 'screwed over' is a completely different scenario and the 'pile on' aka, a general consensus that it was a nasty post was justified.

@miltonkeeyno
*Im purely thinking of

1. My child getting covid
2. Us having to take time off work
3. Us getting covid We all have to work, we all make money. We all parent. Why are one persons needs greater than anothers?*

Sd has 2 parents. So why shouldn't both parents be taking responsibility for their child.
If you'd stated you or your children were CEV and unvaccinated, then maybe it would be reasonable to shirk responsibility for the child he shares responsibility for, but that's not the case.
I empathise in wishing to reduce your chances of catching covid, but let's be honest you've presumably had the child over and your own go to school, so are at risk anyway.
Sadly, par for the course with sc, is that you run the gauntlet of childcare when they're sick/possibly contagious.
Yabu. Why should only the mother's work be affected? The child has 2 parents who should be managing this burden.

And yes OP, it is a burden.. Your comment earlier about that reflecting bad parenting is hilarious on the context of your 'screwed over' comment. A single parent juggling work and childcare is perfectly entitled to feel that way when discussing the amount of input from the nrp.

@HugeAckmansWife

And yes OP, it is a burden.. Your comment earlier about that reflecting bad parenting is hilarious on the context of your 'screwed over' comment. A single parent juggling work and childcare is perfectly entitled to feel that way when discussing the amount of input from the nrp.

So ex wife is allowed to moan, step parent isn't. Got it.

Just using the word “burden” which child care is, is hardly the same as talking about being “screwed over” when the OPs husband is just being asked to care for his child as normal. Which is a small amount of the overall time.

No, the step mum said 'screwed over'. And given that RP does 80-90% of the parenting I think they would have more right to call it a burden yes. An NRP who sees their kids eow and one night a week and complains about it is not parenting, frankly. They are Uncle /Auntying at best. In this instance the OP's partner would be having his NORMAL contact visit, nothing over and above, nothing that they had to try and make special plans for, whereas the mum would have to drastically rearrange her planned day of work.

@LordOfTheOnionRings

Mumsnet has never been kind to step parents. I agree that a lot of posters have jumped the gun here and are projecting onto the OP.

Pretty standard for any step parenting thread.

So ex wife is allowed to moan, step parent isn't. Got it.

Always. It's the way it works.

So much bad information on here and so many people are adamant that they know the law when clearly they don't!

The OP already has the link to the correct piece of legislation that very clearly states that isolating children cannot move between houses.

PS The use of 'screwed over' was bad and hasn't helped.

An NRP who sees their kids eow and one night a week and complains about it is not parenting, frankly.

Except she's clearly complaining about the Covid / isolating aspect, not the doing of the parenting.