Y7 disgusting comments

[ShinyGreenElephant]

I'm 99% sure I'm not being unreasonable here but I'm SO angry and could do with some perspective/ advice.

A boy in my DD12s class has said to her today "shut your legs, your fanny stinks". This was in front of a group of kids. Shes on her period today as well so it made her feel even more paranoid and she was really upset and humiliated. A few of the boys laughed half-heartedly (all her boy mates have since said he was out of order but none of them said it at the time) and all the girls who were there went mad at him, DDs best friend slapped him across the face. DD called him an ugly little rat and walked away before he saw her crying but was then very upset and sobbing to the other girls. Shes been friends with this boy for years but hes recently turned on her a bit after hes asked her out twice and she said no. Nothing like this though.

DD told a teacher who told him off, but he wasn't sent home and hasnt apologised. The school didn't inform me about the incident. Far as I'm concerned this is nowhere NEAR good enough - I've called them and told them as much and been told they will investigate and deal with it further.

Can anyone advise on what my next steps should be? I'll be putting it all in writing tomorrow once they contact me with how they've dealt with it. What if its not good enough? Governors? What can I realistically expect - I will 100% need an apology and I want him suspended but not sure they would even tell me if he was.

Any advice welcome even if its to tell me I'm over reacting. I'm actually friends with his mum but won't contact her tonight at least as I'm so angry I know I won't be able to handle it well.

@Lettuceforlunch

Good point Gibbons I bet this would be treated much more seriously if it were race or religion and not sexism at play here.

I agree.

The slap is the right response to misogynistic slurs!
When men feel they have the right to put their hands all over a woman’s body...go for it.

@Overthinking1

Whilst its awful to have said it out loud, do check she is not actually having problems.. I remember there were a few girls at school who really did smell badly when they were on their period. I imagine they hadnt been shown how to appropriately wash and keep clean / regular changes etc, so it was very sad looking back now but at the time I do remember the boys and occasional loud mouthed girls didn't hold back.

This is probably the worst comment I’ve ever read in response to a girl being sexually harrassed at school, and I’ve read some corkers on this site.

[quote Ilovegreentomatoes]@Fembot123 that's not how your comment read to me but if that's what you say.[/quote]
Just as well I don’t give a flying fuck what you think ☺️ Why would I comment earlier that it was a disgusting comment and I’d be appalled if it were my son and then go on to say ‘Does she smell’ 🤦🏼‍♀️ You are just spoiling for an argument.

@Fembot123 apologises if that's what you meant.just so angry at reading this thread and some of the things girls/ women have to put up with.

He lacked sensitivity and was crude but in all of this..has your daughter said to you that she did smell? If he has said something that was true..i would be careful about wanting the boys head on a platter because he had no tact and ensure that your daughter changes her pads regularly and knows that someone's lack of etiquette does not warrant feeling humiliated as it says more about them than her

We do not know what caused this reaction, the likelihood was there was name calling on both sides before it escalated. Ops dd isn't going to admit she called him ginger pubes and that he has a small dick for example. Schools cause of action is to take statements from mutilple people. DS was accused of breaking someone's phone when what actually transpired was the girl was running and dropped her phone and the lads and other girls laughed but she decided to blame DS. The school took multiple statements and it transpired that all the stories matched that she ran across the road and her phone fell out of her pocket and broke. However the girl blatantly lied to the school and mum.

[quote Ilovegreentomatoes]@Fembot123 apologises if that's what you meant.just so angry at reading this thread and some of the things girls/ women have to put up with.[/quote]
Me too, it’s foul and I feel sorry for OPs DD and really hope she hasn’t taken it on board.

[quote thosetalesofunexpected]@KurtWilde

Give it a few more years and this 12 boy will be on this websites that hate women/girls because he feels inadequate cause he has experienced rejection from women/girls !
(On the Dark danger website
(On incel )

Are you for real or just Stupid !!?
Or something?

I wouldn't be susprised this Boy will grow up having issues with women
And inflict them emotionally on to women
Such as Domestic Abuse !

Harassment if his girlfriend has enough of his abusive ways and split's up with women!

Then he will harrass her How dare as a mere woman
Have the Audacity to finish my relantship with Her !

Also he will or could sexual harrass women in the street even the stalk them or rape them!

Or his girlfriend in their abuse Domestic relantship !

Sick and tired of this male entilment

Even starting at school at 11 for fuck sake !

Fuck off you male Apologist for sexual violent rape child abuse domestic violence murder in our society

You make fucking sick Arsehole[/quote]
Woah

@Fembot123 ikr!!

@GrumpyHoonMain what an absolute muppet you are.. no doubt like the neglectful parents that allowed those girls to end up on the end of the comments.

Absolutely can’t believe some of the defending of the boy on this thread. Well, sadly, I can.

If my 12YO DS said something like this, I’d be utterly appalled and feel like a complete failure as a parent. He would be punished in no uncertain terms.

So glad that DD will be heading off to a single sex school next year from year 7. At least her school hours will mean she is spared this utter fucking shit behaviour from the cohort of boys and men who just can’t seem to stop themselves.

For a year 7 to say this is shocking. It makes me wonder about his childhood and what he has heard and seen.
I hope your daughter forgets this comment and the boy is suitably reprimanded and taught how disgusting it is to speak to anyone like that.

Give it a few more years and this 12 boy will be on this websites that hate women/girls because he feels inadequate cause he has experienced rejection from women/girls !
(On the Dark danger website
(On incel )

Are you for real or just Stupid !!?
Or something?

I wouldn't be susprised this Boy will grow up having issues with women
And inflict them emotionally on to women
Such as Domestic Abuse !

Harassment if his girlfriend has enough of his abusive ways and split's up with women!

Then he will harrass her How dare as a mere woman
Have the Audacity to finish my relantship with Her !

Also he will or could sexual harrass women in the street even the stalk them or rape them!

Or his girlfriend in their abuse Domestic relantship !

Sick and tired of this male entilment

Even starting at school at 11 for fuck sake !

Fuck off you male Apologist for sexual violent rape child abuse domestic violence murder in our society

You make fucking sick Arsehole

What utter nonsense this is an 12 year old child don't dare write someone off like that you have zero right and you sound completely batshit

There are so many messages but my child has been the victim of bullying and I really think that you need to proceed carefully. Because someone who has been nasty will often get a far lesser punishment than the person who reacted.

Although he was a monster speaking to your dd like that, your dd's friend assaulted him. If anyone is removed from the school, I am sorry to tell you that it will be your dd's friend, not the boy. So you need to be very careful in what you try to get done to this boy - because the result will be he will then say your dd's friend assaulted him and she could be reported to the police for assault or suspended, some schools would even expel for deliberately hitting in the face, regardless of the reason.

The situation is shit, but this is unfortunately the reality we have. I don't know the answer. Bullies seem to just get away with stuff because they are clever about how they do it.

@thosetalesofunexpected I've reported you, just so you know. You absolutely have no idea what you're talking about and you've taken your comment towards me to a whole other level of nastiness.

This thread needs a mumsnet admin on board, how do we get one?

PissOffAvenueWF Girls are equally if not more vile.

The likelihood was there was name calling on both sides...

Oh really? Based on what exactly?

I can tell you for a fact I have heard variations on this comment from many boys/ men in school, workplaces etc and it's always been unprovoked. Some years ago I was in the office break room and someone had been cooking fish curry in the microwave...one of the office 'jokers' walks on whilst me and my colleague let's call her Mary are sat there. 'Oh it stinks in here, close your legs Mary'. And of course this was just office bants and we were expected to ignore it.

I'll wager firstly that OPs DD did nothing to provoke this, and further that this wasn't the first time this boy had displayed misogynistic tendencies and that it won't be the last either.

Good point Gibbons I bet this would be treated much more seriously if it were race or religion and not sexism at play here.

Do you work in a school? I can assure you that a single one-off offensive remark about religion or race would not result in an exclusion.

It is a very difficult and lengthy process to permanently exclude a pupil. The school has to prove that it has gone through all the processes according to its policies and has helped the child to address their problems/mend their ways etc. And even then, the child's parents are very likely to win an appeal against the exclusion unless it is completely watertight and unless there is a long history of offences or an instance of major violence etc. Schools cannot simply decide they want to get rid of a pupil.

@thosetalesofunexpected

Also you 100 per cent need to tell this boys mother !

Either you vist her and tell her straight what her son said etc!

Or and you want her up the school
Both his parents too.!

I really feel like I want to punch this boys lights out

I am so fucking Angry
On your daughters behalf

I was a real shy kid at school

This sexual harassment should not be allowed at school Never !

Tell the school sexual Harassment issue Comment

It is totally not Acceptable!

You need to tell them that you want a appointment to see the Headmaster

I've seen you post nonsense on several threads but saying you want to punch a 12 year old boys lights out is completely off the scale.

His is why I'm glad DD goes to an all girls school. Girls can be horrible but rarely say stupid shit like this!!

[quote thosetalesofunexpected]@Kurkwilde

Have you heard of Sarah Everad

Who was murder by a policemen who stalked harrassed her!
He thought he was entitled to her !
So her desecrated her body !

Men like yourself are the one of the reasons why girl/women's verbal sexual harassment is perceived socially Acceptable !

You are a total waste of Space

What on earth are doing on this website !

We don't want Arseholes like yourself on this website with extreme hateful offensive attitudes to innocent girls and women !

Please Do us a favour !

And fuck off ![/quote]
I'm a woman, but thanks for assuming my gender.