To be a true feminism, I need to address my own misandry?

[FerrisWheelTrain]

For example - are terms like LTB sexist?

@Pumperthepumper I agree men are more likely to commit a violent crime. And a male dominated occupation will have inherent misogyny. But - in terms of recruitment and retention, in order to keep our streets safe - is the way forward - to slate the police/assume the majority behave in a particular way. To me this isn’t a positive way forward.

The issue is that women have typically been oppressed - but do we sometimes go too far in challenging the oppressor. Assuming they are all bad or have aggressive traits.

Women as a group are still oppressed by men.
How have we gone too far in challenging the oppressor? Do you have any examples?

Nobody has said they believe all men have bad or aggressive traits but men, as an aggregate group, do present a threat to women. That is a fact. It is not misandrist to acknowledge that.

[quote FerrisWheelTrain]@Pumperthepumper I agree men are more likely to commit a violent crime. And a male dominated occupation will have inherent misogyny. But - in terms of recruitment and retention, in order to keep our streets safe - is the way forward - to slate the police/assume the majority behave in a particular way. To me this isn’t a positive way forward.[/quote]
Nobody does that though. Unless you do - is that your misandry you wanted to talk about when you started this thread?

@TheJerkStore the current protests against the police.

Do the police as an aggregate group pose a threat to women? Are people making this assumption? Is this the right way to address positive change within the police force?

[quote FerrisWheelTrain]@TheJerkStore the current protests against the police.[/quote]
By whom? Look carefully!

@FerrisWheelTrain

Do the police as an aggregate group pose a threat to women? Are people making this assumption? Is this the right way to address positive change within the police force?

You think it’s the assumption that’s causing the damage? Rather than the increasing number of misogynistic attacks on women by male police officers?

97% of child residence is with mothers in separation and divorce
This made me think
I share my kids 50/50 with my husband
But when we split they were my kids imo
This was misandry and the courts continue it

@CuriousaboutSamphire - men and women.

@RonaldMcDonald

97% of child residence is with mothers in separation and divorce This made me think I share my kids 50/50 with my husband But when we split they were my kids imo This was misandry and the courts continue it

That’s not misandry either, that’s misogyny. Women are always in the caring roles.

If there is misandry (which I don't agree there is, but for arguments sake) it's not having a large scale negative impact upon men is it?

I absolutely believe we need to advocate for women.

What I think the OP is getting at (and in relation to the comment above) is that perhaps we need to remember that society and conventions are dynamic.

If over the years we take it to an extreme and say that we shouldn't worry about 'soft' generalisations about a group, because they can take the heat as they are not the ones currently disadvantaged, tables could turn and there could come a time when they could actually be (it's harder to see it with men because they are physically stronger, etc, but it could happen in subtler ways)

Balance is key in my mind, and we shouldn't lose perspective of how things can evolve, for the sake of our children. Although again, we should absolutely protect women and our DDs from everything that PPs have mentioned.

@Pumperthepumper could you link me to statistics for that? Or is that your assumption?

[quote FerrisWheelTrain]@CuriousaboutSamphire - men and women.[/quote]
So are you on any male dominated platforms berating them for the same behaviours?

"Similarly - LTB - what’s the good argument for this being acceptable? Or would it be better to judge each post on its merit, rather than to lump all men together as ‘bastards’. Of course it’s absolutely essential that we challenge abusive behaviour from men, but is the best way forward to assume he is a bastard?"

But we aren't assuming!!! Ltb as used on this site is ALWAYS in response to an op- where behaviour is lined out, and that man (or rarely but sometimes woman) has been presented to us as a bastard- by being abusive, cheating, controlling, even just plain old grumpy. The person in question as outlined in an op is being called a bastard, NOT all men

Yes the op may be skewed etc,but such is the nature of any chat forum, all we can do is read the information given and use that to guide us as to what advice to give.

[quote FerrisWheelTrain]@Pumperthepumper could you link me to statistics for that? Or is that your assumption?[/quote]
Statistics for what?

@CuriousaboutSamphire I joined mumsnet as I am a mum, but I agree. I might join a dads forum for balance! Parentsnet would be good.

And I apologise if I come across as berating - I’m trying more to question?

@tangerinelollipop yes! Thank you! That’s exactly what I am trying to say! You are far more eloquent than me!!

@FerrisWheelTrain

And I apologise if I come across as berating - I’m trying more to question?

Then maybe try to take in what has been said. At the moment you just seem to be saying "Yeah but..." For example I aksed

You do know that what you are reading is posters whose lives have become intolerable?

And pointed out that

You are not reading about posters whose daily lives trot on comfortably, in the groove, doing their do!

You are reading the pain of failing relationships, on a forum where women come to share their experiences and seek support from other women and you are saying "Look, Mumsnet posters believe All Men Are Like That!!"

@CuriousaboutSamphire - I’m not meaning to come across that way. I think @tangerinelollipop is saying it far better than me - so refer to her post?

I did read it. And it didn't really address the points I made. Basically she said "be nice" or "think of the children" - both of which men could also do!

My question to you directly still remains! Have you considered why the majority of posts here seem to be women discussing the poor behaviour of men?

[quote FerrisWheelTrain]@tangerinelollipop yes! Thank you! That’s exactly what I am trying to say! You are far more eloquent than me!![/quote]
Ok. So what’s your solution? What should feminists do differently?

@FerrisWheelTrain

Much as this has been fun I need to check if it’s actually you or a ghost who is posting. I’m wondering whether the inconsistencies in your debating style and topic are paranormal. I strongly recommend you focus on your haunted house rather than worrying about misandry- unless your ghost is a misandrist... in which case I suggest you LTB.

HTH

@Pumperthepumper ok - I’ll say what I think, invite you to do the same?
My view that stereotypes exist about various groups within society. I think that these stereotypes may - sometimes - have foundation in truth e.g men, biologically are more muscular, tend to dominate certain professions (construction, front line army, police) due to their physical strength. They are also more prone to violent, physical aggression and we absolute need to stand up against this. However, the problem with stereotypes - and I apply this to all groups - is that if you adhere to them without question, you don’t allow society to progress. So we should challenge stereotypes. E.g. to combat male aggression, surely this starts in childhood - not assuming that boys/girls play in a particular way - or buying dolls for boys is as normal as buying trains for a girl. If we are - however - subtlety - assuming that a boy/man behaves that way ‘because he male’ we are just feeding the stereotype.

@SorryAuntLydia I feel slightly chuffed that you think I’m worth a stalky advanced search!!