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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My cat just had a shit in my fire.

392 replies

LAgeDeRaisin · 23/03/2021 15:20

So I've just got my 1 year old to nap, I've got horrible all day morning sickness, and it's my day off work today. I'm exhausted.

I decided to go to bed for a nap with the baby monitor and was nearly asleep when I hear this scraping noise from across the room.

The cat had managed to open the bedroom door, come in, and was digging around in the ash at the bottom of the fireplace to have a shit. I tried to pick him up but he was mid squat and it was midway out. He then became outraged and ran out traipsing soot all over the carpet. He is 9 years old with no health problems.

AIBU that he is a massive arsehole? He has a catflap which he has free access to and always goes outside. He 100% did this to spite me because I wanted 30 minutes to myself in bed.

Stories of your own arsehole pets requested please; it may help me feel better.

OP posts:
Original poster
LAgeDeRaisin · 23/03/2021 21:14

Still feeling the catguilt Sad

OP posts:
Bargebill19 · 23/03/2021 21:18

@LAgeDeRaisin

Still feeling the catguilt Sad
More dreamies or a ton of Tuna.
therocinante · 23/03/2021 21:21

We've only got one bit of carpet in the whole house, on the stairs. They're ONLY ever sick on the fucking stairs.

Oh and one of ours pisses in the bath. Had him checked by a vet, there's nothing wrong with him, he just likes a bath piss. It's fine if I spot him running in there, I just clean it straight away, but if you forget and sleepily get in the shower at 6am and then the smell hits you and you realise you're standing in cat piss, it really makes you feel less loving towards the little bastard.

malificent7 · 23/03/2021 21:22

I found a dry cat poo under my bed and my tortoise fancies my dunbells and shags them at every opportunity.

malificent7 · 23/03/2021 21:22

Dumbells

Singlenotsingle · 23/03/2021 21:23

My bf's cat likes to keep us on our toes. Sometimes she shits in her tray, but usually on the doormat inside the front door. Another day when we think she hasn't shat there, there's a yellow puddle waiting there - just for a bit of variety! We can hear her laughing.

therocinante · 23/03/2021 21:23

Oh NO just seen the update... the guilt is even worse than them being arseholes Grin

Like when I was really angry that Bastard Cat #2 hadn't returned for his food, spent half an hour traipsing the streets shouting him in the pissing rain, was cursing him to high heaven, absolutely furious that he was making me worry (it's usually that he's fucked off to chase pigeons). Hours and hours went past before I realised I'd accidentally locked him in our wardrobe. Oops.

Tinkerbell456 · 23/03/2021 21:28

LTB.

Purplecatshopaholic · 23/03/2021 21:29

One of mine likes to flick bits of cat poo out of the litter tray and dribble them around the house, and play keepy uppy with the poo in my front room…. Another likes to appear at my home office window (first floor window!), and meow loudly to be let in when I am on work calls. Another has feline dementia and craps on my hall rug.. cats are bastards…

Tooshytoshine · 23/03/2021 21:59

I once came home from work to dried cat poo down my curtain. Must have had an upset tummy and regularly sits on curtain rail. Or was just a twat.

Once the cat shat in the bed. My partner was at home and texted to tell me that this had happened and that they hadn't cleaned it up because it wasn't their side of the bed.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 23/03/2021 22:03

Mine had a wee in a box of lego once. It was delightful. He's a total twat. He never, ever uses his litter box, it is purely decorative because he goes outside but every so often, just to keep is on our toes he will piss inside any random box he finds lying around.

Tinkerbell456 · 23/03/2021 22:08

Well, has to be said......cats! They are shites, but sadly, loveable ones.

hahaohno · 23/03/2021 22:16

Every single time I bath my dog he takes a shit in the tub. (Not in our actual bathtub.) Doesn't matter if I take him out for a walk before hand or the fact we have a backyard he can shit in freely. He will always take a shit during his bath.

IHaveBrilloHair · 23/03/2021 22:36

@PinkTonic
Mine only passes in the living room corners.
I've tried everything but nothing stops her.
What exactly should I do?

I'm used to it, but there are times that I think I can't carry on with this, I live alone and have a disability.
However, the only other option is rehoming her, and who would want a little black cat who will piss in their house?

Not only that, but I utterly adore her, and I got her for life.

IHaveBrilloHair · 23/03/2021 22:39

The rehoming is fleeting btw, it's just when I'm having a bad day, but I'd never get rid of her.
She's my secret favourite fluffet.

viques · 23/03/2021 22:51

@whitespotsgreenleaves

I knew someone who worked in one of those health food shops that have the big bins of muesli that customers scoop what they want from. There was a free ranging shop cat. You can guess the rest.
In one of gardener Beth Chatto books she tells the story of how she had a bowl of home made pot pourri in her office. She put her hand in to stir it up a bit and found the cat had been there first....
JasperLily · 23/03/2021 23:31

One of mine stinks as he refuses to wash, this one likes to dry himself on my curtains. He used to poop in the bath, but we managed to train him out of that. He likes to jump from a height onto us when we are asleep, he’s particularly adept at landing on bladders.

My late old girl once vomited on dh pillow while he was sleeping on it. When we got a new sofa she spent all day, every day while I was at work licking the sofa, so I would come home to spit stained cushions. She used scratching the sofa as a threat, if she wanted something, she would stand with claws at the ready and if ignored would tear away at it.

I’ve one that likes to chew everything. We got new patio doors and that same day he chewed the handles. He loves chewing wooden furniture and has picked and chewed all the screw coverings from the kitchen units. He also likes to bring in frogs and hide them in boxes to play with later. Mice also get brought in alive for us to catch.

And I’ve a female who is adept at releasing her anal glands when annoyed.

Pjsandbaileys · 23/03/2021 23:43

My cat regularly waits until my poor dog has commited to a poo in the garden before attacking. Never hurts the dog just soft paw but the poor dog is totally dominated by a mini dictator lol

QueenPaw · 23/03/2021 23:53

Mine refused to wee for 2 days. Stressed cats don't wee, says the vet. Come and pick him up and we will see how he is at home
Arrived, vet picked him up, cat with smug look on his face weed all over the vet Blush

He also did a very dramatic dying swan act and ended up in out of hours then vet ambulance then my own vets. Where he persuaded them he might possibly eat if he was cuddled and hand fed chicken. Not boiled chicken though, minging. Yes, he got roast chicken Hmm
Three grand later...

MmeLaraque · 23/03/2021 23:53

@JasperLily

One of mine stinks as he refuses to wash, this one likes to dry himself on my curtains. He used to poop in the bath, but we managed to train him out of that. He likes to jump from a height onto us when we are asleep, he’s particularly adept at landing on bladders.

My late old girl once vomited on dh pillow while he was sleeping on it. When we got a new sofa she spent all day, every day while I was at work licking the sofa, so I would come home to spit stained cushions. She used scratching the sofa as a threat, if she wanted something, she would stand with claws at the ready and if ignored would tear away at it.

I’ve one that likes to chew everything. We got new patio doors and that same day he chewed the handles. He loves chewing wooden furniture and has picked and chewed all the screw coverings from the kitchen units. He also likes to bring in frogs and hide them in boxes to play with later. Mice also get brought in alive for us to catch.

And I’ve a female who is adept at releasing her anal glands when annoyed.

Thanks you so much, you've made me laugh so much reading bits of this thread. SO have most other....
MmeLaraque · 24/03/2021 00:00

We have two cats. We've been parents to several, but have two now. Our cats have done many (but not all) of the things listed here. Including sicking up in slippers, shitting in places they really shouldn't, and generally creating havoc.

criminallyinsane · 24/03/2021 00:10

Ours self-soothes by sucking at one nipple before dropping off to sleep. We used to let him just get on with it thinking whatever, but turns out this can stimulate other parts of him. I'm sure it's why he's a rescue; last owners must have been pissed off by all the wanking and so abandoned him by the roadside. Sad

DishingOutDone · 24/03/2021 00:21

@criminallyinsane

Ours self-soothes by sucking at one nipple before dropping off to sleep. We used to let him just get on with it thinking whatever, but turns out this can stimulate other parts of him. I'm sure it's why he's a rescue; last owners must have been pissed off by all the wanking and so abandoned him by the roadside. Sad
Whose nipple though?
Sunny4876 · 24/03/2021 00:39

Like I said,he's a knob Grin

My cat just had a shit in my fire.
IHaveBrilloHair · 24/03/2021 02:21

Oh I'd forgotten about one of mine who is obsessed with licking the shower curtain, she does it all the time.
Weirdly I had a lick to see if I was missing something.
I wasn't, it tasted like um shower curtain.HmmConfused