@BlueEyesWhiteDragon
Haha the tails (see what I did there) of shitlands do make smile. Do you reckon its ingrained in their DNA?
Cant remember who asked but I sent
^Hi A. I'm sorry but that does not work for me. Being completely honest the number of messages I've had from you is overwhelming and not something I can or am wiling to deal with going forward. I'm happy to have a more "normal" old owner exchange where we message each other a couple of times a year. However if we cannot do that then I would need to block you and/or report you for harassment which I would prefer not to do. I know you miss him and regret selling him and I do appreciate all the photos and stories of him - its been genuinely lovely to learn about his history. However he is not for sale, loan, part loan etc. I also love him greatly and he brings me joy in a way my others don't. I need to focus on building our relationship with each other and our future. With that in mind in person visits are not something I am willing to do. Ill send you some photos of our beach ride (covid permitting) later in the year. Xx^
I felt sticking the bit on the end was a mistake but I felt too awkward finishing it on such a abrupt way otherwise.
Letting A have him has been suggested before and whilst I won't flame you for it I have said I got him for a purpose - which is to get me riding again. If I was able to ride my others firstly I wouldn't have got him and secondly then the money wouldn't be an issue as such as I would still be riding and I would happily loan him out. However giving T to her now (either on a loan or selling at a third of what i paid for him) will leave me unable to afford another and so unable to ride. I'm not willing to do that. Also as an aside he's not treated any worse here because he's not my "one". He's loved. He has time spent with him fussing him, pampering him, just hanging out with him. He knows who I am and comes running over when he sees me probably for the food but whatever so its not like he's languishing for his old owner. This is his home now.
That was me OP. Thank you for obliging!
You did so very well with your message. Honest, firm but with retaining a touch of kindness. Well done, I know it must have been so hard to send it.
You absolutely don't have to justify why you don't want to sell your horse.
I don't currently have a horse (time just doesn't allow.. and whilst I'm a horsey person, I've been out of the game due to ill health for a while, hopefully starting back up riding soon! Coming upon a hack just the other day in the woods made me realise how much I've missed it!) but my opinion from my limited knowledge has always been that I don't like horses stabled up. I do appreciate sometimes it's neccessary in certain circumstances or for certain situations. But sometimes it's also not. And as the automatic 'go to' and 'normal' option, I've never thought it was the best option for the horse, and doesn't allow for natural behaviour other than grazing on a hay net. Some horses are perfectly fine with this, but you see so many with stereotypies as a result of mental stress of this. The answer is always to prevent and block the stereotypical behaviour of course, but never to look at the management and whether things could be done differently.
So I guess what I'm saying is I think you keep your horses in the kindest possible way for HORSES. There will always be humans who cannot recognise the difference between what animals need, and what we think they need based on anthropomorphic beliefs.
I don't think this horse would necessarily have a better life with old owner at all, and I'm gobsmacked at the minority suggested he would, simply because 'he was THE one' to her, with no other knowledge. I'm not necessarily convinced he'd have a worse off life either. But the fact she can't pay the market price for him, would suggest she couldn't afford the care either (unless of course he is just one of the pricier horses).
Regardless, she sold him. If she was forced by circumstance to do this, of course it's very sad. But you don't get to sell anything because circumstances force it, then harass owners years later.
I remember when I was young, at the stables I learnt to ride at. I fell in love with a big old ploddy 16.2 gent of a gelding He was the most placid and gentle horse I've ever met to date. I also volunteered at the stables, and never once did I see the owners there. I suppose I didn't see the point of that one, but it's not my place to judge either. I have an old photo of me and him. I went out the field to see him on my last day there. I gave him a cuddle and some fuss and left. Leaving the field (he well knew it was not time to come in!) he neighed 'after me' at the gate.
There will never, ever be another horse like him. He taught me to ride. I had a minor fear of other horses, the ones who bit (the shitlands), kicked (a couple of the big fookers), barged (the shitlands again). But he taught me the gentle side of horses. I had enquired to buy but the owners did not want to sell. Fair enough. I returned a couple years later (to ride) and he'd gone, been sold. I was gutted, as I felt I would have really appreciated him. But that's not to say no one else would have and loved him just as dearly. I certainly never felt the need to even enquire where he'd gone.
So, people can quite often get what they feel is a 'special bond' with a horse. In my case, I don't necessarily think it was reciporated, just perhaps tolerated, and maybe a bit of fondness because he knew I adored him. The other riders were busy wanting to ride the difficult ponies & horses. :D
I absolutely believe the new owner loved him just as much if not more. He was a difficult guy not to adore. Different circumstances of course, but bearing in mind I spent the best part of every day with this horse for a couple of years. Old owner needs to accept she is not the only one who can love this horse. I hope (and it sounds like he already is) he brings you much joy. Preferably without horse stalker tainting it.