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AIBU?

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To think you sold him years ago (horse) so no you cant come visit him

1000 replies

BlueEyesWhiteDragon · 21/03/2021 20:42

I bought a(nother) horse last summer from a local dealer as I've lost confidence riding for various reasons and my mare is a bit crazy spirited and I wanted something quiet and ploddy. Hes perfect for this.

About 6 months ago a previous owner of his (from 4 years ago) discovered I had him and keeps getting in touch to ask how he is, can she come visit, do I want to sell him? I've pandered to the first one by replying occasionally and said no to the latter 2 several times but perhaps not bluntly enough.

I've just had a text message tonight saying

Hi Dragon. You haven't replied to my message last night. Hope everythings OK and you are well? How is T doing? Im passing your way on Wednesday and thought Id pop in and visit him with C and give him some carrots but I need the address else i'll just be driving round aimlessly! Speak soon A xxx

As far as I can tell the history of T is
A owned him from 6 months to 9 years. He was then sold to B with the proviso that they would keep in touch. B sold him 2 years later to Dealer 1 who sold him to person C. 12 months later C sold him to a Dealer 2. Dealer 2 sold him to D who had him just under 6 months before falling off him and so returned him in a part ex for something smaller. I then bought him.
When B sold him to the first dealer A posted on a facebook group to try and track him down. C responded to say she had him and they have been facebook friends since and A went to visit T a couple of times. A was offered him back when C sold him but couldn't afford him. When the second dealer sold him they obviously refused to share details on where he went due to GDPR so A has been posting on facebook groups since then trying to track him down. A girl who used to help me with them saw a post and said she thought he was with me and gave my email address. I received a long email saying how they regretted selling him, about how hed been to loads of homes since them and they just wanted to know he was OK. I responded with some photos through whatsapp, said he was fine and that he had a home for life with me.

Since that original email on 7th October I have had 104 messages asking about him! At one point I blocked her because I had enough but she was posting all over facebook asking for info because I had disappeared and sent letters to the horses passport office asking them to forward them onto me which they did so I unblocked her.

I am at the end of my tether. I dont want the hassle of a previous owner keeping in touch with me. I didnt agree to keep in touch and in fact the dealer never mentioned it. She sold him 4 years ago. I appreciate she loves him and regrets selling him, but thats tough shit isnt it? Hes been to loads of people before me. Its unfortunate that they seem to be local enough to visit. Im debating saying ive sold him just so shell leave me alone but then shell be back all over facbook hunting for him.

AIBU to say no hes mine now. Ive let you know hes OK. If anything happens or changes Ill let you know but Id prefer you not to visit?

OP posts:
BrightYellowDaffodil · 23/03/2021 15:42

@WoolieLiberal

I’d think about selling him back. This person clearly has an emotional attachment to the horse and regrets selling him and has been trying to track him down.

Perhaps you could agree a price that would enable you to buy a similar horse with a bit of profit left over for a holiday or something?

You are the mad previous owner and I claim my £5.
Weonlyhavealoanofit · 23/03/2021 15:57

If you let her see the horse what will that achieve? Will it make you feel better, lets face it, you've done nothing to warrant any feelings of guilt. Will it create further obligations? Almost certainly it will, because you’ll have set the precedent and the former owner is obsessed with this animal. All this hassle, facebook pleading and multiple texts, is quite unnecessary and overstepping the boundaries. This owner sold a horse quite a while ago. It is now with a good owner. End of story. I would be firm with her: “‘I bought this horse in good faith, I am a very responsible owner and I cherish the animals in my care. It is very inappropriate to keep contacting me about ..... You may not realise it, but you have sent me over a hundred text messages in the past few months. I do not want to facilitate ‘contact visits’ by you or ANY of the previous owners. I am being quite frank with you because my patience has worn thin. You sold this horse 4 years ago. I do not want to remain in contact, and I very much hope that you will desist from posting questions about my horse on social media sites”

krustykittens · 23/03/2021 16:01

I want a Shitland, I don't think any yard is complete without one, running around, taking out people's kneecaps. But DH keeps pointing out that I have a 12.2 ginger wrecking ball I am hoping to back to drive and this will just have to do. Any interested, look up scurrying with ponies, great fun!

agirlhasnoname · 23/03/2021 16:07

I’ve always thought ‘like she stole it’ would be a good show name for a horse. Never had the guts to actually do it though!

3babylady · 23/03/2021 16:10

I'd just be so off put by how often she's messaging that I wouldn't give her my address leaving myself open to unwanted visits.
Yanbu to stop contact.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/03/2021 16:15

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Don't give out your address / field but could you send the lady a tin of dog food with a note saying, 'Here's a lasting memento for you'

It's a joke....

I'm ashamed to say that I laughed out loud at that.

I'm going to go to my room and think about what I've done.

Grin
Clymene · 23/03/2021 16:17

My sister's shitland is a complete twat. I didn't realise they were all like that Grin

Jobseeker19 · 23/03/2021 16:24

I would love to watch a TV show about horses and their personalities. Especially the shitlands.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/03/2021 16:25

I am surprised we haven't had at least one poster urging the OP to just give the horse back to the previous owner free gratis and then help her financially with the cost of keeping him.

It's the right way . . .

The MUMSNET way . . .

Grin

taking out people's kneecaps

Best Shitland image ever, Kittens Grin

TrashPanda · 23/03/2021 16:33

@krustykittens

I want a Shitland, I don't think any yard is complete without one, running around, taking out people's kneecaps. But DH keeps pointing out that I have a 12.2 ginger wrecking ball I am hoping to back to drive and this will just have to do. Any interested, look up scurrying with ponies, great fun!
I'm not a horsey person, they scare me a bit but watching the scurry racing and heavy horse turnouts is the highlight of going to Royal county of Berkshire show every year.
DaisyDreaming · 23/03/2021 16:37

I would offer an update every 3 months

PersonaNonGarter · 23/03/2021 16:39

Don’t offer a regular update - that reinforces her sense of entitlement to the horse.

Just do what you want. Which is nothing to do with her.

HOkieCOkie · 23/03/2021 16:44

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles LMFAO

Easterbunnygettingready · 23/03/2021 17:02

Bet she threatens to take you to court for access!!

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/03/2021 17:11

I still can't believe people are suggesting 'just one visit'..

Do you folk not get it.. horse lives in an isolated area it takes the owner some time (assuming she doesn't have the ability to instantly teleport there) to get to.

Once shown where horse is, previous irritating owner will then help herself to visits... and who knows what else... as long as she feels like it, as often as she feels like it.

With all the alarms and cctv systems in the world there will be no practical way to actually stop her doing that.

As for giving/selling her the horse back... omfg?! It's a horse not a second hand sofa!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/03/2021 17:12

@Easterbunnygettingready

Bet she threatens to take you to court for access!!
Insist on Judge Rinder, OP. We at MN will sit in the studio court (like the 12 red-beaded dwarves in beachcomber) with placards, and cheer you on.
Miasicarisatia · 23/03/2021 17:13

unbelievable!!

sueelleker · 23/03/2021 17:17

I am surprised we haven't had at least one poster urging the OP to just give the horse back to the previous owner free gratis and then help her financially with the cost of keeping him I was actually wondering if she was trying to guilt-trip you into giving him to her.

ExtraordinaryQuince · 23/03/2021 17:33

Let the horse choose - see who he goes to! He'd probably be thinking 'don't make me go back'!

This thread is making me miss my horsey days. I hope that's the end of it OP.

CandyLeBonBon · 23/03/2021 17:36

Well, I'm quite exhausted. I gave spat my tea out at quite a few of these comments and I'm now longing for my old chestnut back 😢

CallmeHendricks · 23/03/2021 17:43

@DaisyDreaming

I would offer an update every 3 months
January: has spent the day in the field, eating. April: field again. Eating. July: another day in the field.
pennee · 23/03/2021 17:53

Brilliant @CallmeHendricks 🤣
The dog food comment earlier up post had me laughing too!

ApplesPearsAndCrumble · 23/03/2021 18:07

@CallMeHendricks

''January: has spent the day in the field, eating.
April: field again. Eating.
July: another day in the field''

To be fair, that sort of describes lockdown for me.

Easterbunnygettingready · 23/03/2021 18:19

Maybe time to bring back Jezza for some hair pulling drama. ..
Why is the op's horse like a scarecrow?
...
Because he is outstanding in his field!!

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 23/03/2021 20:09

@krustykittens I used to groom for a scurry driver 😁 It is indeed great fun! A different driver contacted me last week to ask if I’m up for grooming at a few shows for a novice driver (when they’re back on). I can’t wait 😆

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