To think you sold him years ago (horse) so no you cant come visit him

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

I bought a(nother) horse last summer from a local dealer as I've lost confidence riding for various reasons and my mare is a bit crazy spirited and I wanted something quiet and ploddy. Hes perfect for this.

About 6 months ago a previous owner of his (from 4 years ago) discovered I had him and keeps getting in touch to ask how he is, can she come visit, do I want to sell him? I've pandered to the first one by replying occasionally and said no to the latter 2 several times but perhaps not bluntly enough.

I've just had a text message tonight saying

Hi Dragon. You haven't replied to my message last night. Hope everythings OK and you are well? How is T doing? Im passing your way on Wednesday and thought Id pop in and visit him with C and give him some carrots but I need the address else i'll just be driving round aimlessly! Speak soon A xxx

As far as I can tell the history of T is
A owned him from 6 months to 9 years. He was then sold to B with the proviso that they would keep in touch. B sold him 2 years later to Dealer 1 who sold him to person C. 12 months later C sold him to a Dealer 2. Dealer 2 sold him to D who had him just under 6 months before falling off him and so returned him in a part ex for something smaller. I then bought him.
When B sold him to the first dealer A posted on a facebook group to try and track him down. C responded to say she had him and they have been facebook friends since and A went to visit T a couple of times. A was offered him back when C sold him but couldn't afford him. When the second dealer sold him they obviously refused to share details on where he went due to GDPR so A has been posting on facebook groups since then trying to track him down. A girl who used to help me with them saw a post and said she thought he was with me and gave my email address. I received a long email saying how they regretted selling him, about how hed been to loads of homes since them and they just wanted to know he was OK. I responded with some photos through whatsapp, said he was fine and that he had a home for life with me.

Since that original email on 7th October I have had 104 messages asking about him! At one point I blocked her because I had enough but she was posting all over facebook asking for info because I had disappeared and sent letters to the horses passport office asking them to forward them onto me which they did so I unblocked her.

I am at the end of my tether. I dont want the hassle of a previous owner keeping in touch with me. I didnt agree to keep in touch and in fact the dealer never mentioned it. She sold him 4 years ago. I appreciate she loves him and regrets selling him, but thats tough shit isnt it? Hes been to loads of people before me. Its unfortunate that they seem to be local enough to visit. Im debating saying ive sold him just so shell leave me alone but then shell be back all over facbook hunting for him.

AIBU to say no hes mine now. Ive let you know hes OK. If anything happens or changes Ill let you know but Id prefer you not to visit?

@ViciousJackdaw

And have you seen them together, is the horse equally affectionate?

I hope so, it seems like she's desperate for a stable relationship

But not to be saddled with him.

@plominoagain

What a gorgeous grey- Arab?

Purple - he has that look about him, but he was actually a Belgian Warmblood ! That said he looked very arab like when he went charging round the field with his tail over his back , snorting like a dragon !

I keep coming back to will one visit be enough and I don't think it will be.

I think you are dead right. One or two, or even ten, emails weren't enough. 104, not enough! One or two pics, not enough. Even a ride between his ears video (sounds great!) wasn't enough. More, more, more...!

She's like an addict: one is too many and a thousand never enough.

She also reminds me of an ex, who for years after we broke up (because he had arranged things so I'd find out about him and some other woman, lovely) would phone me constantly and when I didn't answer left messages saying, crossly, "What's wrong with you?"

She has zero consideration for you. Wants to control both you ("I'm coming to visit") and the horse she sold off years ago, no doubt.

This woman is unreasonable, and insatiable. Don't doubt yourself.

Are you the self same plomino that opened the stable to find a palomino pony for you when you were a kid?

If it is, it's one of my favourite things I've ever read on the internet. I was a pony mad kid but have never owned a horse. That story was like something straight out of a pullein Thompson novel.

@Roszie

Do horses lie down to sleep? With a blanket coat on or not?

Horses do lie down to sleep (rugs are designed to allow them reasonable movement so they can lie down, roll etc) but they also have joints that allow them to sleep soundly when they’re standing up as the joints “lock”.

she

Yes. This was her. And me, circa 1985 if the quilted jacket didn’t give the era away!

@Roussette

I've learnt so much from this thread!

Funnily enough there are Racing Stabes near me and there is this path round the field with stuff on it, like recycled materials, different colours and I wondered what it is.... I am wondering if it is a track system. I need to investigate!

I've only ever ridden once, it was not for me. But I have a recurring dream that I am riding (competently) at great speed along a beach. It's a fantastic dream, I always wake up thinking I can ride.

Possibly more likely to be gallops - all weather surface laid in a straight /curving line for exercise and gallop work - as it's a racing stables. Sometimes the surface contains shredded carpet fibre which could explain the colours.

@plominoagain

she

Yes. This was her. And me, circa 1985 if the quilted jacket didn’t give the era away!

how beautiful 🥰

@plominoagain

she

Yes. This was her. And me, circa 1985 if the quilted jacket didn’t give the era away!

Is it a story that could be shared again, please? 🙏

Don't. Once she knows where you are will come at any time.

I bet this is not the last you hear from her. It won't have occurred to her that you would say no to her (unreasonable) demands. There is a possibility that she will assume you have something to hide. I assume that she will start with a massive guilt trip, laying responsibility for her entire mental well-being at your feet. Don't fall for it. Her mental health is entirely her responsibility and you should tell her to contact her GP or mental health team. If you have her address, call police for a welfare check if she threatens suicide. (I wouldn't put it past her to do so, and the welfare check will give you peace of mind AND send her the message that you will not be manipulated.). Once she realises that you're not falling for this, you can probably expect tantrums and potentially threats, claiming that SHE is the rightful owner of this horse. Don't be surprised if she slanders your name on horse forums and websites. Be prepared. I think she's quite unwell. Speak to your mutual friend in advance and let her know you are afraid of this.

I've learned so much from this thread, it's been really interesting to read.

I hope psyc-ho-rsey woman will now get the message. I'd just be worried that she might redouble her efforts in finding him.

Plomino she's gorgeous. My childhood dream horse too sorry for derailing.

It won’t be a track system at a racing yard- don’t get me started on the welfare of racing horses, that will be for another thread.

@DiseasesOfTheSheep
Thanks, maybe that's it. And that will explain the multi colours!

We've always wondered if someone has stuck a sign up saying 'Racing stables' because it's bizarre, a very small place that looks nothing like it. Just a field a few stables at the end, and this multicoloured track type thing.

@Handsoffstrikesagain

I am fairly new to the horsey world but I have to say, I have never met so many oddballs in such a short amount of time 😬

You say that like it's a bad thing . . .

Actually there is, or was I don't know if he's still training, a trainer called called Simon Earl, who kept all his horses barefoot and naturally, so there may well be a racingh yard with a barefoot track.

How do you put a horse to bed? Is it just getting it into a stable and putting on a blanket? 🙂
Don't forget the bedtime story!

And a nice warm bucket of Guinness, and then you sing the "Sleepy Song"

Do horses lie down to sleep? With a blanket coat on or not? Genuine question. I'm a bit scared of them after a donkey bit me once at the seaside

I read somewhere that horses will only lie down to sleep if they are somewhere that they feel very safe and secure from predation, so if your pony lies snoring against the gates, you have a very happy little Dorsey there! . It sounds sensible to me - if you think there may be lions, you stay on your feet so you can go from fast asleep to full gallop in about 2 seconds flat. (I'll bet horse herds have at least one staying awake keeping "toot" as well)

I imagine (and this is guesswork) that smaller/lighter ones are more likely to lie down than are heavy horses, just because of the effort of getting onto their hooves again.

@plominoagain

she

Yes. This was her. And me, circa 1985 if the quilted jacket didn’t give the era away!

That's lovely.

You must have fallen in love with each other at first sight. She looks so relaxed with you.

*happy little horsey, not Dorsey, form a couple of posts back)

I do wish there was an edit button

I just imagined 'Dorsey' was a horse term so I was nodding along at that...

Dorsey is a great name for a horsey. I assumed he was real in-thread also.