To think you sold him years ago (horse) so no you cant come visit him

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

I bought a(nother) horse last summer from a local dealer as I've lost confidence riding for various reasons and my mare is a bit crazy spirited and I wanted something quiet and ploddy. Hes perfect for this.

About 6 months ago a previous owner of his (from 4 years ago) discovered I had him and keeps getting in touch to ask how he is, can she come visit, do I want to sell him? I've pandered to the first one by replying occasionally and said no to the latter 2 several times but perhaps not bluntly enough.

I've just had a text message tonight saying

Hi Dragon. You haven't replied to my message last night. Hope everythings OK and you are well? How is T doing? Im passing your way on Wednesday and thought Id pop in and visit him with C and give him some carrots but I need the address else i'll just be driving round aimlessly! Speak soon A xxx

As far as I can tell the history of T is
A owned him from 6 months to 9 years. He was then sold to B with the proviso that they would keep in touch. B sold him 2 years later to Dealer 1 who sold him to person C. 12 months later C sold him to a Dealer 2. Dealer 2 sold him to D who had him just under 6 months before falling off him and so returned him in a part ex for something smaller. I then bought him.
When B sold him to the first dealer A posted on a facebook group to try and track him down. C responded to say she had him and they have been facebook friends since and A went to visit T a couple of times. A was offered him back when C sold him but couldn't afford him. When the second dealer sold him they obviously refused to share details on where he went due to GDPR so A has been posting on facebook groups since then trying to track him down. A girl who used to help me with them saw a post and said she thought he was with me and gave my email address. I received a long email saying how they regretted selling him, about how hed been to loads of homes since them and they just wanted to know he was OK. I responded with some photos through whatsapp, said he was fine and that he had a home for life with me.

Since that original email on 7th October I have had 104 messages asking about him! At one point I blocked her because I had enough but she was posting all over facebook asking for info because I had disappeared and sent letters to the horses passport office asking them to forward them onto me which they did so I unblocked her.

I am at the end of my tether. I dont want the hassle of a previous owner keeping in touch with me. I didnt agree to keep in touch and in fact the dealer never mentioned it. She sold him 4 years ago. I appreciate she loves him and regrets selling him, but thats tough shit isnt it? Hes been to loads of people before me. Its unfortunate that they seem to be local enough to visit. Im debating saying ive sold him just so shell leave me alone but then shell be back all over facbook hunting for him.

AIBU to say no hes mine now. Ive let you know hes OK. If anything happens or changes Ill let you know but Id prefer you not to visit?

She wouldn't have said she 'needed the address or she'd be driving round aimlessly...' unless she'd already been doing just that. I strongly suspect (like another pp) that she's been looking for your horse already but failed to find where exactly you are.

Why would she contact the horse passport office? Would she have been hoping for your address from them?

I don't know if she has responded to your message yet, but I would not send her anything else. Be really careful. She sounds like a very obsessed and determined person who is not going to let any boundary go untrampled in the effort to get her way.

My advice is steer well clear and DO NOT give her your address. She may well feel sad about selling her horse, but what she is doing crosses all reasonable boundaries. Is your livery secure? Perhaps give the yard owner a heads up about this situation so she is aware.

@krustykittens you are my new favourite poster, thank you for cheering up a chilly quiet evening! (Mine never went in his sodding expensive custom built shelter either, but was never quite as cute as your gate snoozing pony! Fortunately as he wasn't actually mine and I was looking after him as a favour, I didn't pay for the sodding expensive shelter!)

OP I'm sorry you're dealing with this - I'm another one who agrees no visit, one would never be enough.

The horse I loved was sold (sadly he wasn't mine and I couldn't afford to buy him). Although it broke my heart I think once you part with an animal you can't expect to carry on seeing it as though you didn't sell/re-home, so you're doing the right thing.

I hope she's not smart enough to locate and use the Meta Data in the photos you have sent her, most devices code the location the image was taken into the background data.

I'd get the police involved as well and be very careful of posting any photos that would help her identify the location

How are you feeling towards this horse? And have you seen them together, is the horse equally affectionate? Sorry I'm a romantic...

Say what now?

@KillingEvenings

I'd get the police involved as well and be very careful of posting any photos that would help her identify the location

Please do this and stop all communications with her. She sounds disturbed, and while deserving of sympathy, should be avoided on that basis.

Krusty , your posts have been so reassuring , I thought ours was the only house that had horses on the drive ! Living on the fens as we do , means that the only real shelter from the weather is our hawthorn hedge , but it’s only down one side, so when the wind blows and it rains the other way , my lot have also decided to abandon their field shelters and come and stand on the more sheltered stable yard instead ( I leave them piles of hay out , and leave their stables open , and they choose where they want to go ) The 43 year old tends to put herself to bed , the new rescue tends to stand guard outside with her haystack. My old boy learned how to open the yard gate however , and when he’d had enough , would come and stand pointedly outside the kitchen door until we put him to bed

And have you seen them together, is the horse equally affectionate?

I hope so, it seems like she's desperate for a stable relationship

@plominoagain

oh my how stunning 💕

@ViciousJackdaw

And have you seen them together, is the horse equally affectionate?

I hope so, it seems like she's desperate for a stable relationship

🤣😂

You’ve done the right thing

She sounds like a lunatic!

I had a semi-similar experience when I bought my wonderful boy when he was 9 months old. Old owner had a handful of foals and couldn't keep them all so has to sell a couple. I went to see mine and when I said I'd buy him she burst into tears and started wailing about how much she'd miss him. I was taken aback but still bought him. I paid in full but she refused to let me have him until he'd been castrated by the vet of her choice and he'd recovered completely. I said I would have it done but she said no. She refused to allow me to pick him up ( I have my own horse box) because she needed to "know where he will be". A few weeks later I was flicking through his passport when I noticed that she had written 'If this horse is ever for sale then contact me on x number/x email immediately'. That actually made me really cross! I don't know why. I cut it off.

I then ended up moving yards and she messaged saying 'I hear you've moved to x place, I miss him so much, do let me know if you ever want to sell him.' - God knows how she knew where I'd gone! I replied saying that he was fine and really happy at the new yard and sorry, but he would never be for sale and then I blocked her at that point but I still feel like she could stalk me if she wanted. Very odd!

How do you put a horse to bed? Is it just getting it into a stable and putting on a blanket? 🙂

@Lacucuracha

How do you put a horse to bed? Is it just getting it into a stable and putting on a blanket? 🙂

Don't forget the bedtime story!

@Lacucuracha

How do you put a horse to bed? Is it just getting it into a stable and putting on a blanket? 🙂

It’s just putting them into their stable. You call their straw/shavings their “bed”.

Track systems are brilliant! I haven't had a horse overnight in stables for 4 years now - hooves are rock solid. Just a pain to poo pick 2km...

If they’re mine , i usually boil the kettle , put it in their dinner to soak , let him in his stable , clean his feet out , put his duvet on , turn the radio on ( my old boy used to love a bit of Classic fm ) and leave him to start on his hay. They’d get dinner about 6.30 , and then second hay at around 8ish . Last check at 11 . Yes they’re spoilt .

That’s adorable... Classic fm 😂

Love that he has a duvet.

My knowledge of horses is mainly from Heartland 😂

@ViciousJackdaw

And have you seen them together, is the horse equally affectionate?

I hope so, it seems like she's desperate for a stable relationship

Bravo.

Do horses lie down to sleep? With a blanket coat on or not? Genuine question. I'm a bit scared of them after a donkey bit me once at the seaside.

Mine do , but they don’t have to . They can also sleep standing up , which they tend to do on warm days in the field , so that they can take flight if attacked by predators . Or if mum’s sneaking across the field in riding kit ...

Non horse owner who has just spent half an hour researching track systems

It seems like a great way to allow horses more natural behaviour whilst giving over more land for rewilding (back from over grazed compacted pasture). A win win!

I've learnt so much from this thread!

Funnily enough there are Racing Stabes near me and there is this path round the field with stuff on it, like recycled materials, different colours and I wondered what it is.... I am wondering if it is a track system. I need to investigate!

I've only ever ridden once, it was not for me. But I have a recurring dream that I am riding (competently) at great speed along a beach. It's a fantastic dream, I always wake up thinking I can ride.