To think you sold him years ago (horse) so no you cant come visit him

[BlueEyesWhiteDragon]

I bought a(nother) horse last summer from a local dealer as I've lost confidence riding for various reasons and my mare is a bit crazy spirited and I wanted something quiet and ploddy. Hes perfect for this.

About 6 months ago a previous owner of his (from 4 years ago) discovered I had him and keeps getting in touch to ask how he is, can she come visit, do I want to sell him? I've pandered to the first one by replying occasionally and said no to the latter 2 several times but perhaps not bluntly enough.

I've just had a text message tonight saying

Hi Dragon. You haven't replied to my message last night. Hope everythings OK and you are well? How is T doing? Im passing your way on Wednesday and thought Id pop in and visit him with C and give him some carrots but I need the address else i'll just be driving round aimlessly! Speak soon A xxx

As far as I can tell the history of T is
A owned him from 6 months to 9 years. He was then sold to B with the proviso that they would keep in touch. B sold him 2 years later to Dealer 1 who sold him to person C. 12 months later C sold him to a Dealer 2. Dealer 2 sold him to D who had him just under 6 months before falling off him and so returned him in a part ex for something smaller. I then bought him.
When B sold him to the first dealer A posted on a facebook group to try and track him down. C responded to say she had him and they have been facebook friends since and A went to visit T a couple of times. A was offered him back when C sold him but couldn't afford him. When the second dealer sold him they obviously refused to share details on where he went due to GDPR so A has been posting on facebook groups since then trying to track him down. A girl who used to help me with them saw a post and said she thought he was with me and gave my email address. I received a long email saying how they regretted selling him, about how hed been to loads of homes since them and they just wanted to know he was OK. I responded with some photos through whatsapp, said he was fine and that he had a home for life with me.

Since that original email on 7th October I have had 104 messages asking about him! At one point I blocked her because I had enough but she was posting all over facebook asking for info because I had disappeared and sent letters to the horses passport office asking them to forward them onto me which they did so I unblocked her.

I am at the end of my tether. I dont want the hassle of a previous owner keeping in touch with me. I didnt agree to keep in touch and in fact the dealer never mentioned it. She sold him 4 years ago. I appreciate she loves him and regrets selling him, but thats tough shit isnt it? Hes been to loads of people before me. Its unfortunate that they seem to be local enough to visit. Im debating saying ive sold him just so shell leave me alone but then shell be back all over facbook hunting for him.

AIBU to say no hes mine now. Ive let you know hes OK. If anything happens or changes Ill let you know but Id prefer you not to visit?

@krustykittens

EggyPegg I spent £6,000 on shelters for my ponies. They only seem to use them when it's hot. Otherwise, they will stand right next to them, heads down, rain-soaked, the picture of misery and not go inside them. I am sure the neighbours are sick of me leaning out of my bedroom window and shouting, "Six grand. SIX GRAND! Go INTO the shelters, you prats!"

Thank you! This genuinely made me lol! 😂

I’m amazed she hasn’t responded to you yet!

I somehow don’t think she’s the type to reflect on her batshit stalkery behaviour.

I looked after a Chestnut TB mare for someone that I bonded with so closely she was my soulmate horse.
It caused problems.
When she was sold without my knowledge while I was on holiday it caused me a serious grief reaction.
She was like Ginger in the Black Beauty film, temperamental but she was so good with me.
I think it was a case of “Clicking”
I couldn’t bear to research what had become of her- sold before the days of internet- but why did the person sell the horse if they loved him so much?
I have a swatch of fine silky mane hair and some shoes.. I hope to goodness there is an Afterlife where she will be waiting neighing at the pearly gates- along with other beloveds💕

@PegasusReturns

I’m amazed she hasn’t responded to you yet!

I somehow don’t think she’s the type to reflect on her batshit stalkery behaviour.

she's probably scouring the country roads trying to locate Black Beauty in his field, thank goodness OP's fields are far far away from main roads 🌺

Spot on

Hmm tried to quote someone and it didn’t work! Sorry! Agree that a message telling her that you’ve let her know he’s well and you wish her the best but you don’t want any more contact and will be seeking legal advice if her bombardment of messages continues.

And let the horse passport office know too.

Definitely don’t tell her your address!

A really good hedge or dry stone wall gives shelter in rainy and windy weather..and is much preferred to a field shelter..
But in summer field shelters come in to their own.

The horse is legally yours. You are entitled to do what you want. I agree with you it is not good for her, you or the horse to have that connection again. Tell her he suffered a serious injury in the field and was put down

Completely ignore. Block. Forget it.

We were recently in a similar position. Pony brought by one person, who passed him on and then was sold to a dealer, another dealer and finally to me. I got him cheap as a project pony but DD1 connected with him. Pony was a 14.1hh cobxeverything handful, beautiful on the ground but a hang on and hope ridden. No back man, vet or dentist could find an issue. Turns out his issue is he needs a busy yard with lots of stimulation, be in a group field, fed lots and in daily work.
Original owner, who refused to allow buyer return after regular buckaroo sessions, wanted full contact now he was a perfect pony. Wanted visits, to ride him, speak with our back man etc.
We humoured for a while but refused address of yard or visiting etc, she became progressively worse and more demanding until I lost it with her, all over feeding haylage when she fed soaked hay and I knew nothing, could never be good enough for her baby etc.

Told her I would stop contact, block and wouldn't change a thing with him. He is going well and she needs to realise his other homes didn't work for a reason but ours does. She backed off and after 6 months I sent a link to our very generic, non identifying of area Instagram for him. She comments on every photo but having her comments public has stopped the forceful/unkind comments and made her accountable for them. Seems to be working so far.

I have absolutely no idea about horses , yet I've spent the last half hour googling tracks for horses and I want to let you know it sounds like a fabulous life for a horse! I've actually really enjoyed reading about it.

@krustykittens

Before we built the shelters, we had nowt and we had an Icelandic mare who couldn't bear the heat at all. Seriously, we live in Scotland and the summers up here were still unbearable for her. She broke my heart standing by the gate of the summer field, begging to come in and the only place we could keep her safely fenced was the end of the driveway that had large double gates she couldn't jump and that was shaded beautifully by mature trees. She would lie down, with her back against the gates and sleep the heat of the day away. Of course, this meant we couldn't open them so we had to put a note on the gates. "Pony asleep against gates, please ring this number if you need to speak to us. Any deliveries, please use the stool on the right and make sure you don't hit her with parcels. Otherwise, we will collect them." Thankfully, our postie loves our animals and is very accommodating. But people wonder why my left eye twitches...

I think this is one ofmy favourite posts ever on mn.

I am just cracking up at the thought of your pony asleep against the gates with your postie throwing parcels over...

@Goleor

I have absolutely no idea about horses , yet I've spent the last half hour googling tracks for horses and I want to let you know it sounds like a fabulous life for a horse! I've actually really enjoyed reading about it.

Same! It sounds like great enrichment for them, good for mental and physical welfare.

@FirstNameSurname

We were recently in a similar position. Pony brought by one person, who passed him on and then was sold to a dealer, another dealer and finally to me. I got him cheap as a project pony but DD1 connected with him. Pony was a 14.1hh cobxeverything handful, beautiful on the ground but a hang on and hope ridden. No back man, vet or dentist could find an issue. Turns out his issue is he needs a busy yard with lots of stimulation, be in a group field, fed lots and in daily work. Original owner, who refused to allow buyer return after regular buckaroo sessions, wanted full contact now he was a perfect pony. Wanted visits, to ride him, speak with our back man etc. We humoured for a while but refused address of yard or visiting etc, she became progressively worse and more demanding until I lost it with her, all over feeding haylage when she fed soaked hay and I knew nothing, could never be good enough for her baby etc.

Told her I would stop contact, block and wouldn't change a thing with him. He is going well and she needs to realise his other homes didn't work for a reason but ours does. She backed off and after 6 months I sent a link to our very generic, non identifying of area Instagram for him. She comments on every photo but having her comments public has stopped the forceful/unkind comments and made her accountable for them. Seems to be working so far.

what the hell 😳

what she did was wrong in so many levels, well done for standing your ground 🌺

@AryaStarkWolf

I have never owned a horse but I was curious as to what a track system was so I looked it up, sounds like a much better idea to me, more natural. Probably a stupid question but if you don't shoe them, does that mean you can only ride them on certain terrains or how does that work?

I've owned about half a dozen horses who've been rock crunching on all surfaces barefoot - a mix of shoes taken off when they come, and never shod as I've bought them as youngsters. This includes high mileage endurance training for some. Many horses can cope on all terrains without shoes if they're managed correctly.

Some horses may always need shoes - it's hard to generalise. You can also buy hoof boots, like horsey trainers, which you put on to exercise a horse on a difficult surface and take off when you're done.

Also well done to the OP for the excellent publicity for track systems

I've learned so much on this thread!

I had never heard of hoof boots and love the idea of horsey trainers!

I feel sorry for that girl, and yes she's obsessed and a bit scary, going into stalker territory. How are you feeling towards this horse? And have you seen them together, is the horse equally affectionate? Sorry I'm a romantic...

have you seen them together, is the horse equally affectionate

I can sympathise she misses him after 8.5 years ownership, but, you didn't agree to contact and visits. You have obviously been kind so far, let her down by saying that the yard owner says under no circumstances are visitors allowed due to covid and they aren't keen at other times due to security so unfortunately you can't facillitate a visit.

A girl who used to help me with them saw a post and said she thought he was with me and gave my email address.

Rule number 1 is that you do not give out other peoples email addresses.

If you think the person might be interested, you can offer to pass on requestors contact details and leave it to the person, in this case with the horse. Whether to get in contact.

Having read the number of times she has now tried to contact you I would be hitting touch with local police/community police officer.

Then absolutely no visits. She will never stop at one. Now is the time to draw a line in the sand and say exactly what you wrote

no hes mine now. Ive let you know hes OK. If anything happens or changes I'll let you know*

Sorry it would not be appropriate to visit.

Hope you get it sorted and that the location of your field and stables is not in the public domain anywhere.

Good luck.

I wouldn’t give her your address. My mum’s horse was stolen from our field by a previous owner, the field was literally right next to our house and she just wandered in and took him. Luckily we had cctv so the police got him back for us but we could have never seen him again.

I think you did the right thing OP, I hope she gives you some peace

Horses and field stock generally stay warm as a result of having an intestine full of friendly bacteria. It acts like a central heating system. Next time anyone complains about you allowing your critters out in the rain, tell them this.