DH just told 4 year old ‘being a grown up was rubbish’

[UserB]

AIBU to really object to this? DD was playing around saying she wished she was grown up and DH said ‘You don’t want to be a grown up, being a grown up is rubbish’!!! I’m so annoyed with him, what a stupid thing to say! He says he meant enjoy being a child, obviously I agree with that, but why say something so negative? I don’t really know where it came from either, he has a very stressful job, but we have a lovely life and are in general very happy. He thinks I am totally over the top to be annoyed that he said it and tell him it was a silly thing to say. So AIBU?

Being a grown up IS rubbish. You may have a lovely life atm but that can all change in a split second. Poverty, homelessness, jobloss, depression. No food etc can all sneak up really quickly.

Being an adult is very overrated. YABU.

Yes yabvvvvvu

I presume it was an off the cuff remark not a sit down talk about the many ways being a grown up is hard to make them dread the future.

He’s right. And it won’t scar her for life.

The only really excellent part of grown up-ness that immediately springs to mind is being able to do my own grocery shopping (a niche taste, I know). Nothing beats being able to choose the crap I fill my face with. 😋

You can't police his every word.

This. It's utterly bizarre that you felt you had the right/ need to pull him up on such a flippant comment that had nothing to do with you.

@B33Fr33

He is obviously feeling quite stressed. YABU to tell him his feelings are invalid, even if it was a throwaway comment he's obviously struggling.

And this. I'd focus on that instead of being annoyed with him tbh.

Overreaction on your part

So tell her. Because you have to go to work and pay bills and do all the jobs and cook the meals and wash the clothes. It’s task after task after task. That’s the truth.

YABU and overreacting

DD is actually very sensitive and has already asked me since why being a grown up is rubbish!

I’d you are so concerned that you avoid anything as minor as this being said to her, no wonder she is sensitive. DD would have asked exactly the same question and I’d have told her why, in a way she could understand.

If you want her to be less sensitive, the best way is for you to be less sensitive.

Depends how your childhood was I guess.
I prefer being an adult.

You don't need to worry about food, money, housing, general worrying....

Many children worry about these things all the time. The children that don't tend to live in houses where the grown ups don't have them to worry about either. 30% of UK children live in poverty - and they worry about it but have no power to do anything about it.

I honestly prefer being an adult, I like it, I have choices I didn't have as a child.

Why would anyone object to their child being told the truth?

I don’t think he has done any thing wrong

jesus it's only a joke. Get a grip

@pictish

So tell her. Because you have to go to work and pay bills and do all the jobs and cook the meals and wash the clothes. It’s task after task after task. That’s the truth.

This is really sad actually, I didn't realise so many people felt this way! I feel very out of step in this thread.

Another one of these bloody threads, no, a throwaway comment like this will not traumatise your child. What is the world coming to?!

Yabu!! Better prepare them for the reality of life, than set them up to be strongly disappointed when they realise adulthood is rubbish🤣

He is right OP. Especially now. I just want to have a tantrum on the floor most days, instead, because I am a grown-up I smile, rationalise my feelings and plough on....

YABU it is rubbish.

Not in my wildest dreams could I imagine getting annoyed about this.

Yabu. And quite bizarre

Wow. This is a really normal thing to say. It might be you who is stressed OP.... Shes his DD equally and you wouldnt like it if he started saying you cant say things to her without him giving the nod because unless its something like swearing or telling her about adult things he can talk to his child however he likes.

"I remember adults saying this when I was a kid (80s). Everyone (it seemed) pushed advice not to rush to grow up, and they'd give anything to be a child again.

I just thought they were silly, because obviously, it must be as cool as it looks.

I grew up and being an adult was rubbish. But it did not do any harm bring told that."

I remember asking my DF if he preferred being an adult to being a child. He said being an adult as you have more control/options. He was right.

I'm a bit worried about these people who seem to think childhood was better. Yes, you can play a lot, but you spend most of your time doing what you're told.

Yabu. Massively