to think my DD is confused about being bisexual?

[OscarWildesCat]

We were all sat having dinner last night and my DS (14) was talking about something to do with LGBTQ, my DD said she thought she might be bisexual. DD is just turned 11 and young for her age, no signs of puberty or anything yet. I feel like she’s a bit young to know this yet?. They’ve been learning about different LGBTQ groups at school and she does have a couple of very close girlfriends so I’m wondering if she’s just a bit mixed up with her feeling for her friends.
I sort of shrugged it off at dinner but went to speak to her later, obviously told her we don’t care who she wants to be with, we love her and reassured her she can talk to me or my DH any time. I couldn’t care less if either of my DC are gay, straight or whatever as long as they’re happy. Any advice on how I can support her?

@ArcheryAnnie

I think whatever your kids come out as, the appropriate response is "I'm glad you told me - and feel free to talk to me about it anytime".

Your DD may be bisexual, she may be gay, or straight, or she may decide the whole shower isn't for her and come out as asexual. She may, like me, discover new things about her sexuality for decades to come, and have to "come out" several times.

Jensons is right - it is social suicide for a young person to admit they are straight. (Which is one of the many reasons I assume anyone identifying as "queer" is straight.)

Both you and Jenson's are wrong on this one. It is absolutely not.

My observations of teenagers is that they are going through a period when they are trying to find out who they are - they want to be different, sexuality/changing ones gender is at the moment the trend . They move between all these and want to become increasingly unique , from my observations they start saying they are bisexual and gradually change their status. Schools should be challenging this just as they would when teenagers claim a political view.

@twelly

My observations of teenagers is that they are going through a period when they are trying to find out who they are - they want to be different, sexuality/changing ones gender is at the moment the trend . They move between all these and want to become increasingly unique , from my observations they start saying they are bisexual and gradually change their status. Schools should be challenging this just as they would when teenagers claim a political view.

No,, we should not be. Why would we want to be biphobic and transphobic?

It is nothing to do with me what my pupil identifies as in terms of sexuality and gender.

@twelly

My observations of teenagers is that they are going through a period when they are trying to find out who they are - they want to be different, sexuality/changing ones gender is at the moment the trend . They move between all these and want to become increasingly unique , from my observations they start saying they are bisexual and gradually change their status. Schools should be challenging this just as they would when teenagers claim a political view.

Sexuality and gender identity are different things.

Do schools challenge a pupil's political view?

@slashlover no. Only offensive statements, depending on the subject.

Twelly presumably believes sexuality and gender are offensive.

@twelly

My observations of teenagers is that they are going through a period when they are trying to find out who they are - they want to be different, sexuality/changing ones gender is at the moment the trend . They move between all these and want to become increasingly unique , from my observations they start saying they are bisexual and gradually change their status. Schools should be challenging this just as they would when teenagers claim a political view.

Bisexuality isn't a political view.

Why on earth should schools try to stop pupils being bisexual (or political, for that matter)? Should we bring back S.28? Get some conversion therapy going?

Teach them to think for themselves, to only have sex if they and their partner are both enthusiastically consenting, to change their mind if they find out the were wrong about something.

But don't teach them to be heterosexual.

i knew i was bi at age 12.

if you don’t mind, you don’t need to say anything. it isn’t a big deal so don’t make it one.

My observations of teenagers is that they are going through a period when they are trying to find out who they are - they want to be different, sexuality/changing ones gender is at the moment the trend . They move between all these and want to become increasingly unique , from my observations they start saying they are bisexual and gradually change their status. Schools should be challenging this just as they would when teenagers claim a political view.

Bisexuality isn't a political view.

Neither belong in schools, particularly...

@DaisyWaldron

Sorry posted randomly there - I was going to say that lots of people are attracted to people of their sex, but the extent to which they act on/admit that attraction is determined by how acceptable it is.

So if you occasionally fancy girls and dream about having sex with them, and think the girl who sits next to in maths smells really good, but you also like boys and fancy the boy who's your partner in drama who likes you back, if it's 1985 you happily date the drama boy and don't really let yourself think too hard about the girl in maths (and maybe you date a woman after your marriage breaks down) but if it's 2020 you join the school LGBT group and might date either of your crushes.

This is very astute and well worded.

It definitely fits with my experience through my early years. I definitely had a crush on a girl before I was aware that people could be attracted to people of the same sex. If I had read a book or watched a TV show featuring a gay couple, maybe I'd have understood what I was feeling. Wouldn't have made me any more gay, but might have helped me understand myself more.

@GreyhoundG1rl

My observations of teenagers is that they are going through a period when they are trying to find out who they are - they want to be different, sexuality/changing ones gender is at the moment the trend . They move between all these and want to become increasingly unique , from my observations they start saying they are bisexual and gradually change their status. Schools should be challenging this just as they would when teenagers claim a political view.

Bisexuality isn't a political view.

Neither belong in schools, particularly...

Pardon?

Pardon, what?

@GreyhoundG1rl

Pardon, what?

Bisexuality has no place in a school?

I don’t get this ‘no one has sexual feelings before the age of 11/15/35’ assertion. I fancied people and knew I liked boys and girls from when I was about 8. I didn’t really have a word for what I was until I was about 18 and I didn’t come out until I was 23.

Why? Because I was constantly told by society/peers/the media that I was either a lesbian in denial or a straight girl doing it for attention. I was neither. I was bisexual.
I wasn’t any less bisexual because I wasn’t given the tools to speak about it or wasn’t out.
Please @OscarWildesCat, support your daughter. Believe her as she works out who she is; she’s not labelling herself, she’s on a journey of self-discovery - just like we all are. You don’t have to start waving the pride flags and setting her up with your friends’ daughters but just be there and let her explore her feelings.

‘Bisexuality has no place in a school.’

Yeah, good luck enforcing that one!

@KnitFastDieWarm

‘Bisexuality has no place in a school.’

Yeah, good luck enforcing that one!

We will do a daily q and a on who is bisexual and send home any offenders.

I knew I liked boys and girls at that age. I really fancied a girl at school when I was in year 7. I was from a very religious background and this wouldn't have been accepted ☹️ I wish someone had told me it was ok at that age.

That's not what I said. I think just like politics, the kids sexuality / current gender identity shouldn't really be focused on to the extent it appears to be in schools.
They can be what they want, but it's hardly within a school's remit to police these things. Or indeed encourage these things.

@GreyhoundG1rl

That's not what I said. I think just like politics, the kids sexuality / current gender identity shouldn't really be focused on to the extent it appears to be in schools. They can be what they want, but it's hardly within a school's remit to police these things. Or indeed encourage these things.

How do you encourage bisexuality exactly?

@GreyhoundG1rl

That's not what I said. I think just like politics, the kids sexuality / current gender identity shouldn't really be focused on to the extent it appears to be in schools. They can be what they want, but it's hardly within a school's remit to police these things. Or indeed encourage these things.

We don't encourage anything , or police them.

Ironic that your original comment was that it has no place in schools but you are now telling us not to police it.

That was a quote from someone else I responded to? twelly, I think. The comprehension levels on here are shockingly bad.

@GreyhoundG1rl

That was a quote from someone else I responded to? twelly, I think. The comprehension levels on here are shockingly bad.

So you didn't say this?

Neither belong in schools, particularly...

How do you encourage bisexuality exactly?

Apparently by telling kids about it. Weird how many LGBT+ kids were around even when S28 was in force.

@twelly

My observations of teenagers is that they are going through a period when they are trying to find out who they are - they want to be different, sexuality/changing ones gender is at the moment the trend . They move between all these and want to become increasingly unique , from my observations they start saying they are bisexual and gradually change their status. Schools should be challenging this just as they would when teenagers claim a political view.

Why would schools ‘challenge’ a political view? Unless kids are joining the BNP and beating up the ethnic minority kids, it really isn’t the school’s business.

Didn't you know? We do morning presentations telling them to be bisexual.