To think fuck you to those living in big houses who are following the rules?

[Hammyhamster92]

I have noticed swathe of happily married friends, in jobs they could do from home, in big houses with big gardens bitching about people not following the covid rules.

There seems to be no sympathy from these people that a large number of people not following the rules are, ( from personal experiences I know of)

1. Sharing a one bedroom flat with their two children, and no garden.

2. Living in a shared HMO where the landlord has turned the living room into another bedroom and there isno garden and no communal area.

3. Living with violent, abusive, toxic people.

4. Are bereaved.

5. Are unable to share or bubble with their partner, but don't feel they should have no contact for months.

I had a massive row with a friend today, ( call her lucy). Lucy asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I said I was going to visit ( "charlotte") as Charlotte has had a very horrible bereavment recently, ( cousin she was very close to died unexpectedly in a road accident) and was really struggling and has asked for a visit.

Consequently , I've been called all the names under the sun, I'm selfish/ horrible etc, and more so because I have to travel by train, ( I can't drive for medical reasons). Utterly sick of this shit, and it seems that some people who are living in a middle class bubble of perfection can't imagine the difficulties lockdown has caused others.

YANBU

I agree with you, but the fuck you belongs to Lucy here, not people who live in bigger houses.

A lot of generalising here but actually those in cramped housing need to be more careful about mixing not less. It's tough, no one is doubting it but there's a reason some areas have much higher rates and that is because they are mixing. We all need to limit our contacts, doesn't stop you going out to the park etc but just because you are in a small house doesn't mean you should mix with others

@Gwenhwyfar

"I fail to see what living in a big house with garden has to do with keeping the rules."

Well, quite a bit. People without gardens would have to break the rules to sit outside, at least when the rule was that you could only go outside if you were moving all the time. Not very fair is it?
People in small places would have to go outside for a change of scene and would have to work and live in the same small space whereas someone with a bigger house could go into another room.

I don't think it is 'unfair' for anyone to have a garden. It's just the way it is, people make choices in life.

You cannot judge everyone who has a larger than average house, they will still encounter problems, albeit different ones.

Ps supporting a bereaved person is ok, that is a necessary journey, I'm talking about general socialising

"YANBU OP, some people have lost their sense of empathy and humanity during this pandemic."
This ^^

My husbands best friend (from childhood) died very suddenly not so long ago, do people really suggest that because of this virus, nobody should go visit his widow, and just leave her to cope with her grief on her own?

Despite living in a big house I have been utterly against all the rules as they breach human rights, since March 2020. I have not wavered. I would rather my risk of death were increase by 100x than have the measures in place.

the state has banned marriage entirely. you cannot leave your house except for limited reasons. It has virtually banned sex and relationships. It has robbed students of their lives at university whilst taking huge fees from them and big rents from their parents. it has stopped small children having an education despite the children not being at risk of covid. It has destroyed vast swathes of industry from pubs to air lines and then handed money o ut hand over fist which will have to be paid back over 100 years by young people

The UK is not unique in this. Most states have also chosen to rob people of their freedoms to ensure a few older/sick people live a few more years.

Liberty or death. Life in chains is not a life.

Lockdown seems insane when schools are open and kids don’t need to wear masks.
Ditto letting travellers from overseas in, where third spikes are happening.
A chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link.

We are allowed outdoors but some say this is rule breaking.

Someone staying indoors for a year will surely lose cardiac fitness and gain weight?

Outdoor exercise is essential for mental and physical well-being.

You are so right and I've noticed this too

I hope Lucy never falls on hard times or needs support. She might regret being a selfish twat then but sadly too late.

@minniemoocher

A lot of generalising here but actually those in cramped housing need to be more careful about mixing not less. It's tough, no one is doubting it but there's a reason some areas have much higher rates and that is because they are mixing. We all need to limit our contacts, doesn't stop you going out to the park etc but just because you are in a small house doesn't mean you should mix with others

We're all entitled to our opinions. 'It's tough but fuck you, too bad' is one I don't agree with.

👏👏👏, Xenia.

@FreekStar

So what is your point OP? That only those in big enough houses should be expected to follow the rules?

Exactly !.

@RedElephants

"YANBU OP, some people have lost their sense of empathy and humanity during this pandemic." This ^^

My husbands best friend (from childhood) died very suddenly not so long ago, do people really suggest that because of this virus, nobody should go visit his widow, and just leave her to cope with her grief on her own?

Yes, they do, and many seem to delight in it.

What a horrible judgemental post.

Could you imagine my coming along and making some horrible judgemental sweeping generalisation about a ‘less privileged’ part of society.

You may be doing what you think is best. So keep it to yourself because bluntly you’re breaking the rules and I give zero fucks about your situation.
But if you go around advertising what you’re doing, then fully expect someone to give you their opinion.

I have friends who don’t have children and live alone. They’re dating/ hooking up with people all the time! I live in a big house, with kids and am adhering to the guidelines.

Do I think they have any more right than me (a single mum) to get their end away? No. I don’t. But because I have a big house and garden my plight/ empathy is less?

No. It’s got nothing to do with my house / garden. You break the rules - you’re a selfish fucker. Justify it all you want, but thems the breaks. Especially for those of us who are bloody struggling yet stick to the rules

Coming on here all sanctimonious? And judgemental because people on paper may have more than you?
I’m thinking your friend is offloading because bluntly, you’re selfish and quite myopic.
So yeah, dump your mate, i imagine a similar conversation is taking place in her house if this is your attitude.

I really don’t see how Lucy’s reaction means everyone in a large house with a garden would habe the same reaction . What an odd view to have.

Quite frankly Lucy’s reaction was awful, but yours is no better.

I live in a big house with garden in fact Ive got two houses.
I despair of the sort of society this pandemic has created when it is not permissible for a the son or daughter to hug their very elderly frail parent if they live in a nursing home, that your neighbours cheerfully grass up an elderly lady to the police because she enjoying a coffee in your garden with a couple of friends and then the police come round and give you a warning or you cannot support and comfort a bereaved friend/relative. My DS is a full time student he lives with his girlfriend he has had no face to face lectures since February last year the city they live in has been virtually locked down since October and he’s now really struggling and very unhappy and thinking of chucking in his degree in. In more normal times he would either come home or I would go and see him take him out for dinner go for a walk a day out or something similar but currently we’re not allowed. I’m fully vaccinated we have one of the lowest incidence of Covid on the UK he’s a very low risk. I mentioned it to a friend thinking I might go and see him for a couple of hours meet in a park buy him a coffee take a cake etc you’d think I was murdering small children the way she responded I think we’ve gone barmey.
OP good on you for supporting your friend in a difficult time they’re are more things going on than just COVID-19.

*What a horrible judgemental post.

Could you imagine my coming along and making some horrible judgemental sweeping generalisation about a ‘less privileged’ part of society.*

👏🏻

Isee just go. Don't tell anyone. This is all fucking ridiculous.

Do I think they have any more right than me (a single mum) to get their end away?

No, but go ahead and meet someone to shag if you'd like. If you can't lick 'em, join 'em.

'The rules' are barbaric and stupid and yy, Isee, what is the point of fully vaccinating us if the government still wants to lock us down? Fuck that.

I'd dump Lucy, OP. I love being a 'selfish fucker', warms me cockles.

As someone who is CEV and terrified of getting COVID I sometimes think f you to people who’s good health puts them in a position of privilege where they can choose to break the rules. However, things are not black and white and this is horrible for everyone and scary and lashing out and trying to say who has it worse than anyone else isn’t really helping.

@Bluntness100

I really don’t see how Lucy’s reaction means everyone in a large house with a garden would habe the same reaction . What an odd view to have.

Quite frankly Lucy’s reaction was awful, but yours is no better.

This.

While it’s true that people who live in big houses with no financial problems still suffer things like bereavement, illness, mental health issues etc. The fact is that anything you can suffer will absolutely be worse if also you live in shit conditions with no money. Surely that’s logical? No the house and the money doesn’t make it “better” but having neither of those things will definitely make it worse. I don’t see how anyone could fail to understand that?

I’m not rich and my house isn’t huge, but it’s a good size. I have my pick of 4 rooms to spend time in, a garden, and I’ve been wfh throughout in a low stress job. I am very lucky and I know it. I would never berate someone for doing what they need to do. Yes I judge people who maybe throw a big party just for “fun” right now. But helping a friend in need? To me that’s totally understandable.

@WeIcomeToGilead

You should be angry with your friend for being a twat not with people who happen to be in a more privileged situation

^ This.

It's not the fault of other people that people's circumstances differ.

You can offer support to Charlotte as a vulnerable person in my view anyway, and I am in the follow the rules camp in general.