To think fuck you to those living in big houses who are following the rules?

[Hammyhamster92]

I have noticed swathe of happily married friends, in jobs they could do from home, in big houses with big gardens bitching about people not following the covid rules.

There seems to be no sympathy from these people that a large number of people not following the rules are, ( from personal experiences I know of)

1. Sharing a one bedroom flat with their two children, and no garden.

2. Living in a shared HMO where the landlord has turned the living room into another bedroom and there isno garden and no communal area.

3. Living with violent, abusive, toxic people.

4. Are bereaved.

5. Are unable to share or bubble with their partner, but don't feel they should have no contact for months.

I had a massive row with a friend today, ( call her lucy). Lucy asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I said I was going to visit ( "charlotte") as Charlotte has had a very horrible bereavment recently, ( cousin she was very close to died unexpectedly in a road accident) and was really struggling and has asked for a visit.

Consequently , I've been called all the names under the sun, I'm selfish/ horrible etc, and more so because I have to travel by train, ( I can't drive for medical reasons). Utterly sick of this shit, and it seems that some people who are living in a middle class bubble of perfection can't imagine the difficulties lockdown has caused others.

*I must say though I dont think it is anything to do with the house you live in or income . Lack of human contact and interaction can affect anyone , irrelevant of circumstances.
*

👏🏻

YANBU depending on the person. The best quote I heard was off Instagram "we are all in the same storm but we are in different boats ". If your boat is leaking and falling apart its not OK for the yacht next to you to tell you just to bail out harder.

That said I do think its far more about the person than it is about their set up. I know wealthy people who wouldn't judge for anything and do everything they can to help others and I see those that would be judgy and nasty whether they lived in a palace or a box.

People tend to stay true to type. If they are a smug unpleasant individual they would be whatever was happening. I honestly would remove them from my life.

Maya Angelou had it dead on " If someone tells you who they are believe them ".

YANBU. I am one of the luckier ones in most ways myself, but I know I am lucky!

I do to be honest feel judgey about people who have parties at this time. But visiting a bereaved friend is totally different. It's not even against the rules - supporting a vulnerable person is a permitted activity.

Not as though you can "buy" some mental health and social interaction with your unaffected finances, is it.....

@ekidmxcl

YABU Whilst it’s fine for you to go and see your friend IMO, you have just judged a swathe of society because they have stuff in common with Lucy. People can be twats, people from all walks of life. Lucy is a twat for example. Don’t also be a twat by making a load of judgement on randoms.

But on the other hand, there's a load of privileged people on this thread saying having a big house doesn't help anything, it's all the same for everyone, etc.

@CuthbertDibbleandGrubb

Surely a conservative government would have less lockdown than any other party🤨 after all they always put business and money first .

This annoys me more than anything sweeping assumptions just to bring party politics into a pandemic as if the Uk are the only country dealing with this .

What rule does 'not having a garden' lead you to break?

Everywhere is busy now.
The first lockdown weeks were really adhered to, but now people are meeting others to walk and ride.
Maybe it is legal.
The olds have been vaccinated now, as have the CEV so going for a walk outdoors is surely ok.
Judging by the crowded spaces others think the same.

*That said I do think its far more about the person than it is about their set up. I know wealthy people who wouldn't judge for anything and do everything they can to help others and I see those that would be judgy and nasty whether they lived in a palace or a box.

People tend to stay true to type. If they are a smug unpleasant individual they would be whatever was happening. I honestly would remove them from my life. *

100% spot on.

@londonscalling

I do sympathise and realise life is difficult. However, it's against all the rules of lockdown to go and visit a friend. We are told to stay home to save the lives of those around us.

Exactly.

The virus doesn't care if we are doing a "noble" thing or going out to party.

Asymptomatic transmission by people mingling when they shouldn't is still spreading a deadly disease. It's too bad but for now the bereaved are going to have to be comforted via FaceTime and non-bubbled partners are going to have to do without.

People who are cramped and bored in their dwellings can go for a walk.

Making all of these excuses for not observing lockdown is just selfishly prolonging the agony and endangering everyone.

@CuthbertDibbleandGrubb

I wonder how many of these people in large houses either did not vote or voted Tory. They are in part responsible for the length of time that each set of restrictions has been in place. My estimate is that if a competent Tory government had been in place about six weeks less of restrictions in total.

because you think people would have followed the rules and the covid would have left the UK alone with a Labour government?

You're allowed to meet to offer support to a vulnerable person.

Right now your friend is a vulnerable person....... So madam palatial needs to stop blowing out of her arse.

@LucieStar

Not as though you can "buy" some mental health and social interaction with your unaffected finances, is it.....

Don't you think being able to get outside to your garden might help with mental health? As opposed to others who are only allowed outside as long as they can keep moving? Don't you think having enough space can help when we're stuck inside all the time? Don't you think there's a link between poverty and poor mental health?

@dontdisturbmenow

Prie are allowed to meet one other person outside walking every day for unlimited time and bubble up with anyone if single or a child under 1.

This takes into consideration the situations you have brought up. So I don't agree that it's ok to break the rules and do what ultimately people in larger homes can't do either.

The problem is people who don't care to follow the rules will always find areas in why they shouldn't apply to them.

Exactly, and play the victim.

The real victims are those the rule-flouters go on to infect.

@Gwenhwyfar

What do you mean by “ privileged”

Another sweeping assumption. Perhaps they worked hard , run a business, employed people , contributed to their local area?

Not everyone gets landed things on a plate you know .

Some people really love those rules. Whatever will they without them? It's given them a real purpose in life.

"The virus doesn't care if we are doing a "noble" thing or going out to party."

The virus doesn't care if we're in a supermarket or a clothes shop (or the doctor's vs a hairdresser), but there are still times when the supermarket will be open and the clothes shop not because food is necessary. Same with care for the bereaved.

I see how Gilead would get into power now. Following “the rules” at all costs for everybody’s “safety.”

I find it terrifying how quickly common sense and empathy went out the window. My friend's father died from Covid earlier this year. I wrote here that I would be seeing her outside the church and within the rules. I was told here that I shouldn't go because Covid and breaking rules. So it's not just FOLLOW THE RULES, it has exposed an unpleasant need/desire(?) to berate and control the actions of others.

Chilling!

@HotCrossBumsticks

But if the bereaved friend commits suicide is that okay as it’s not a Covid death?

Oh come on, that's ridiculuos. OP MUST visit her friend against all rules or else friend will kill herself? That's as insulting as it is stupid.

People in flats and small houses are following the rules too you know. Covid doesn't leave you alone if you think you have a good reason to go out and about.

Why on earth do you think that’s ridiculous? It may well be the case. I’ve had to drop everything in the past to visit a friend who was planning to take an overdose, thankfully she rung me instead at the last minute. Had I not gone straight over and then visited each day for weeks I have no doubt she would’ve gone ahead.

So your swathes of happily married friends, working from home in their big houses ALL judge you for rule breaking in the circumstance you describe? Really?

I work from home in my big house with garden and a happy family and I follow the rules because it easier for me than for others.

However, you have said a massive 'fuck you' to me and others like me, despite the fact that I do not judge you, nor others like you.

So fuck you too

[quote Unsure33]@Gwenhwyfar

What do you mean by “ privileged”

Another sweeping assumption. Perhaps they worked hard , run a business, employed people , contributed to their local area?

Not everyone gets landed things on a plate you know .[/quote]
What does it matter where the money comes from?

@londonscalling

I do sympathise and realise life is difficult. However, it's against all the rules of lockdown to go and visit a friend. We are told to stay home to save the lives of those around us.

But common sense must prevail. A “computer says no” attitude to these lockdown/visiting rules isn’t helpful. It’s ridiculous to be creating a mental health pandemic, and a depressed/bereaved individual must be able to access support

You are caring for a vulnerable person which is allowed.

"I work from home in my big house with garden and a happy family and I follow the rules because it easier for me than for others."

So you're actually agreeing with OP. It IS easier for some people than others. That's her point.

Don't you think being able to get outside to your garden might help with mental health? As opposed to others who are only allowed outside as long as they can keep moving?
Don't you think having enough space can help when we're stuck inside all the time?
Don't you think there's a link between poverty and poor mental health?

As someone with a garden who's needed MH support throughout this pandemic, it might help, yes. But there are some MH conditions and some situations where the biggest garden in the world isn't enough to keep someone from almost toppling over the edge.

As someone who's worked in MH services for a lot of years supporting vulnerable people (whilst living my large home so clearly lacking empathy of course, hence why I chose MH as my career option ); yes I understand fully the link between poverty and poor MH. However, it doesn't mean I believe one population of people are instantly privileged from a MH / coping perspective simply by virtue of having a larger home. Because I also understand that MH and coping resources are inherently individual, regardless of other circumstances.