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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still be upset about mum bullies?

370 replies

GingerNinjer · 19/03/2021 15:28

This happened a couple of years ago but I just can’t seem to get over it. The class was having a party and all kids were sent home with an item of what to bring. Me and another mum got “crisps”.
I bought a multipack of hula hoops, took the individual bags out of the main bag and spread the packets on a party plate, covered it with cling film and that was it.
DD proudly walked into school playground carrying this plate. Other boy who was asked to bring crisps walked in with a multipack of monster munch as bought. DD said to him “why are they not on a party plate?”. She shouldn’t have commented but she did. I quickly told her it didn’t matter whether they were on a plate or not. The boy went to his mum and said DD had said they were meant to be on a plate. Before I had chance to apologise/explain this woman flung her head back, screamed and said loudly “sick of the snobby cunts here, get to private school!”
I was mortified, didn’t confront as this woman has been violent in the playground before so made a quick exit. I was so upset by it, shaking all the way home, I’m not confrontational at all and certainly not a snob.
When I went to pick DD up that afternoon I got standing with a woman who I considered a friend. I told her what had happened and she burst out laughing and said “but why did you put them on a plate? Some of the others were laughing about it too! They were just hula hoops!” I said I knew they were just hula hoops, they were still in their individual bags, I wasn’t pretending they were anything different!” To which she said “exactly, they were in bags! So why the cling film and plate?” Whilst laughing hysterically.

Months later jokes were still being made in the chat groups about wether to buy crisps from asda of Waitrose etc, jokes about cling film for extra protection etc etc. I came off the chat groups and no longer speak to any of them but I just can’t get over it. Seems like such a massive reaction to crisps?? They’re talking about the possibility of a party at the end of school year if guidance allows and I actually feel sick at the thought of the jokes starting up again.
Was I really so badly in the wrong here?

OP posts:
BattyPancake · 19/03/2021 18:53

They were trying to make you feel better actually but I guess it back fired. Xx

Fembot123 · 19/03/2021 18:53

@stablefeet

If a mum used that language in front of children in my school and the head became aware of it she'd be on a warning. Do it again and be banned.
It was pretty shocking to be fair.
thecatandthevicar · 19/03/2021 18:53

[quote Wondermule]@thecatandthevicar

Calling someone a worthless individual is bullying IMO, what if she had MH problems?[/quote]
in reply to "sick of the snobby cunts here, get to private school"? What else would you say?

I mean, you could go down to her lever and tell her to fuck off, but it's more effective to stay polite and sarcastic. You look better and you annoy them a lot more Grin Win win.

Bingo with the "MH problems", but some people are just rude. And worthless.

GLTM · 19/03/2021 18:56

A nice touch to put the crisps on the plate do more communal and easier for the children and good protection with the cling film.

You did something nice. As everyone says they are not worth your thoughts.

Wondermule · 19/03/2021 18:56

@thecatandthevicar

I know 😂 the problem is if we as a society base acceptable behaviour on how an individual person feels about it, we would never make any jokes ever would we?

Life is infinitely more enjoyable if you learn to laugh at yourself, it means basically nobody can ever insult you. So they stop trying.

woollysheeps · 19/03/2021 18:57

The mother who screamed at you sound Feral! Rather cheap and nasty come back for a comment from a child by her.

I think taking the crisps on a plate is a good idea so it is easy for the children to grab, healthy, good idea or not at least you tried!

Some mothers get off on being some scatty click and hence why some of us avoid school mothers as much as possible
with all that goes with it.
Hope you mentioned the behaviour to the school. Feral! Bitches!
Ps I avoid many because they piss me off no endSmile

Mendocino · 19/03/2021 18:57

Well I was a teacher and witnessed quite a few mums being screamed at during pick up and a couple of physical attacks so I’m not sure what point some are trying to make.
OP I probably just wouldn’t engage. If anyone mentions it, just say that you were trying to help. Smile and move on. There will be decent people who are probably a little bit intimidated by the atmosphere . It will get better.

woollysheeps · 19/03/2021 18:57

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov

With the greatest respect I think you might be, not unlike myself, a bit of an oddity. I think presenting the hula hoops for the party is deliciously mental, and suspect they're not taking the piss out of you in an unkind way, it's probably just a joke remember the time ginger did that LOL. But to you displaying the hula hoops is such a normal thing to do that you don't see how it's a joke.
Your probably part of the group.
Souther · 19/03/2021 18:58

Yanbu at the woman's reaction who seemed aggressive.
But I'm sorry to say I would have found it a bit amusing too. I would have just assumed they would already have platters they would have opened the crisps onto.

biscuitjelly · 19/03/2021 18:59

Well I am sorry to hear all this op. Some people are awful.

My child is in year 6 and so it is the seventh year that I go into school and some of the main members of the PTA don't speak to me or acknowledge me.

I made the mistake of not joining in and being rude about other parents when they were having a massive ugly gossip (about amongst other things, a teaching assistant that I think they basically bullied ) which was billed as a fund raising meeting.

I also questioned some funding ideas and from that point on I was pointedly ignored and my ideas were challenged in a really unprofessional way. Rolling eyes, everything I suggested was a No.

Oh and we have had violence and swearing at the school gates a few times and all that type of ugliness.

My child also got some bullying from one of the PTA lot's little boy used to go on negatively about our family (can only assume I somehow really upset them).

I do very much like the teachers and a few other parents.

Some of the entitled and awful behaviour seeps through into the classroom too.

I just act nice and don't let it get me down but when lockdown happened I realised it was a relief not seeing some of those PTA parents. It made me realise that some people even outside school gates and energy suckers!

Try not to let it get you down, easier said than done, and be the better person. Bullies hate that!

Wondermule · 19/03/2021 19:00

Your probably part of the group.

The SCHULA HOOPS it should be called

Comtesse · 19/03/2021 19:01

Bugger them, they all sound like complete idiots. It’s not you, it’s them. What loons.

Mendocino · 19/03/2021 19:02

I would also have appreciated a parent putting things on a plate as I always bought big foil platters to make things look a bit more fancy for a class party. When someone makes an effort and others sneer it says a lot about them and nothing about the person trying to do their best.

Mrgrinch · 19/03/2021 19:03

You're way too oversensitive.

Also if you can't handle people laughing about crisps on a platter then it probably wasn't a good idea to post in AIBU.

jessstan2 · 19/03/2021 19:03

GingerNinjer: "...sick of the snobby cunts here, get to private school"
.......
I am gobsmacked that a woman was able to shout something like that at you and get away with it, frankly.

They sound a horrible lot of 'mothers' to be going on about something so small that did no harm. You'll be glad to see the back of that school.

ThatsNotTheTeaHunty · 19/03/2021 19:03

I'm a bit confused why you would go to the effort of putting them on a plate and cling film them but I certainly wouldn't have laughed about it or made a joke of it.

People with too much time on their hands.

Mendocino · 19/03/2021 19:04

@ThatsNotTheTeaHunty

I'm a bit confused why you would go to the effort of putting them on a plate and cling film them but I certainly wouldn't have laughed about it or made a joke of it.

People with too much time on their hands.

That’s nice...
Cherrysherbet · 19/03/2021 19:04

They sound like nasty bitches. Try to put it behind you op.

They are not worth worrying about 💐

Marvelwife123 · 19/03/2021 19:07

First mum who shouted was a piece of work.

However I don’t think the other mums who joked about it had any issues with her putting them on a plate. It was not emptying them and cling filming individually packets to plates....I can see why that’s funny. There’s two separate issues and honestly i would find it funny. Although we need the OP to confirm if this is the case.

Cosmos45 · 19/03/2021 19:08

I really wish all I had to worry about in life was crisp gate...

siyhack58342 · 19/03/2021 19:08

This is like that post about the woman who was howling at the statues isn't it

mumof2exhausted · 19/03/2021 19:09

The main woman sounds awful but I have to admit I would chuckle if I saw bags of crisps, on a plate, under cling film. But it would be a chuckle and I’d move on. Seems mad if they are still going on about it unless it really is in jest and you are over sensitive?

ShirleyPhallus · 19/03/2021 19:10

Disappointed at the lack of crisp puns on this thread tbh

Thought MN was better than that

Franklyfrost · 19/03/2021 19:13

I think taking covering plastic wrapped crisps out of a plastic bag and covering them with another bit of plastic is ridiculous. Also, the other kid who had also brought crisps was probably just as excited as your daughter who put him down while you watched and did nothing. That doesn’t mean anyone should bully you or swear at you. But I think that there’s probably some preexisting hostility towards yourself and your daughter.

Wondermule · 19/03/2021 19:23

@ShirleyPhallus

Disappointed at the lack of crisp puns on this thread tbh

Thought MN was better than that

I did one 😄 how about...

The WhatsApp Wotsits
She was Quavering in fear?
She should receive 20 strokes of the McCains
Something about Monster Cunts?!