To still be upset about mum bullies?

[GingerNinjer]

This happened a couple of years ago but I just can’t seem to get over it. The class was having a party and all kids were sent home with an item of what to bring. Me and another mum got “crisps”.
I bought a multipack of hula hoops, took the individual bags out of the main bag and spread the packets on a party plate, covered it with cling film and that was it.
DD proudly walked into school playground carrying this plate. Other boy who was asked to bring crisps walked in with a multipack of monster munch as bought. DD said to him “why are they not on a party plate?”. She shouldn’t have commented but she did. I quickly told her it didn’t matter whether they were on a plate or not. The boy went to his mum and said DD had said they were meant to be on a plate. Before I had chance to apologise/explain this woman flung her head back, screamed and said loudly “sick of the snobby cunts here, get to private school!”
I was mortified, didn’t confront as this woman has been violent in the playground before so made a quick exit. I was so upset by it, shaking all the way home, I’m not confrontational at all and certainly not a snob.
When I went to pick DD up that afternoon I got standing with a woman who I considered a friend. I told her what had happened and she burst out laughing and said “but why did you put them on a plate? Some of the others were laughing about it too! They were just hula hoops!” I said I knew they were just hula hoops, they were still in their individual bags, I wasn’t pretending they were anything different!” To which she said “exactly, they were in bags! So why the cling film and plate?” Whilst laughing hysterically.

Months later jokes were still being made in the chat groups about wether to buy crisps from asda of Waitrose etc, jokes about cling film for extra protection etc etc. I came off the chat groups and no longer speak to any of them but I just can’t get over it. Seems like such a massive reaction to crisps?? They’re talking about the possibility of a party at the end of school year if guidance allows and I actually feel sick at the thought of the jokes starting up again.
Was I really so badly in the wrong here?

Op never said psycho mum was on the wats app.

her problem not yours

Tell me what you would have done. I'm not being goady or judgmental, I'm genuinely looking for tips. I would have shit myself or been too embarrassed to draw attention to the situation so give me tips just in case I'm ever in this situation. I'd love to stand up to these cretins but don't fancy a beating.

This wasn't addressed to me, but my response would be simple. Never wrestle with a pig. You both get covered in mud and the pig enjoys it.

Circumstances permitting I'd walk off and leave her in mid-flow. Otherwise I'd look straight through her. If she persisted despite this I'd tell her, calmly and without raising my voice, to stop harassing me. Repeatedly if necessary. Nothing else: no entering into discussion. Start arguing or defending and they've got you.

People like this only communicate on the base level: profanity, raucous argument and physical confrontation. None are languages I speak. I find people quickly become bored when arguing with silence.

Grey rock, I believe some people call it.

I couldn't get worried about crisps and clingfilm. They sound odd and entirely the reason why im not on a school WhatsApp group.

OMFG-sound like a bunch of bored,low IQ numpties-lucky you havent got long til Sept..hope it goes quick4u

People like this only communicate on the base level: profanity, raucous argument and physical confrontation. None are languages I speak. I find people quickly become bored when arguing with silence.

100% - this.

@Bluntness100 amd @23PissOffAvenueWF nowhere has op said she bought enough mini packs for each child to have one each! So presumably the person setting up the food opened the packets and shook them out onto a plate. This is definitely what happens in our schools as I’ve seen the pictures of the food set out - it’s a plate of crisps not loads of packets of crisps just sitting on a table.

I don’t card what anyone does with their crisps but to respond to those saying op was batshit, what she did doesn’t sound at all off to me

And the majority on the thread agree poor op was not BU

Only the OP can advise what her intention was - but IF the whole idea was to pool the crisps, why on earth would you buy multi-packs, and make someone stand there opening loads of the fiddly little things, when you could just bring a couple of big sharing packs, and open and pool them?

It’s clearly absolutely not that big a deal - and I have no idea why someone would find it so hilarious that they took it to group chat to continue laughing about it with other people.

The OP needs some strategies in case the ridiculous Mum does bring it up again.

I suggest laughing back at her, and some lines like ‘wow, you really do need to get out more Janice, if you’re still finding this so amusing’, accompanied by a laugh and very bemused look.

What sort of absolute saddo would do this?

Can you get massive packs of hula hoops?

I dunno. But I’m guessing the OP did mean to just have individual packs for kids, since she put them on a plate. If the idea was to pool - wouldn’t you put them in a bowl?

Clearly howling-at-the-noon-mum intended the kids to each take individual packs, since she just provided the packs.

In any case - to reiterate - bullying Mum is in the wrong (clearly) and needs to get herself a life.

@23PissOffAvenueWF

Exactly. I wouldn’t even remember about it personally. I’ve already been too focused on what I’m doing and my DDs. I wouldn’t have the headspace to take too much notice of what other parents are bringing.

This is why parenting WhatsApp groups are of the devil! Of the devil, I tell ye!

Swriously , Op, it's not you. It's them. They are knobs.

Yes OP. They are like hyenas savaging you. They get in a kind of mutual frenzy of meanness snd all the time laughing and congratulating each other.

Mean girls. Not nice. Stay away.

I would tell them all to fuck right off.

@BakedTattie

I would tell them all to fuck right off.

Well yes that is what I thought too. In a nutshell.

My dc are sn and so qualify for transport to school...... this sort of shit makes me so grateful that I don't have to deal with stupid WhatsApp groups and the school gate mummies.

I honestly would think bollocks to them.

Seriously.

Fuck them and their nastiness.

There are a few, rare school mums that are nice and are decent, but in my
experience these are few and far between.

Far better to ignore and go about your daily business.

That's exactly what I do and I have gone as far as to remove myself from the class WhatsApp group chat and man, it feels goood!

I wonder how this panned out as I’m having similar issues

Why did you put bagged crisps on a plate with cling film though?
a chair broke whilst I was sitting on it whilst at a workshop in reception
funny for everyone including me