To still be upset about mum bullies?

[GingerNinjer]

This happened a couple of years ago but I just can’t seem to get over it. The class was having a party and all kids were sent home with an item of what to bring. Me and another mum got “crisps”.
I bought a multipack of hula hoops, took the individual bags out of the main bag and spread the packets on a party plate, covered it with cling film and that was it.
DD proudly walked into school playground carrying this plate. Other boy who was asked to bring crisps walked in with a multipack of monster munch as bought. DD said to him “why are they not on a party plate?”. She shouldn’t have commented but she did. I quickly told her it didn’t matter whether they were on a plate or not. The boy went to his mum and said DD had said they were meant to be on a plate. Before I had chance to apologise/explain this woman flung her head back, screamed and said loudly “sick of the snobby cunts here, get to private school!”
I was mortified, didn’t confront as this woman has been violent in the playground before so made a quick exit. I was so upset by it, shaking all the way home, I’m not confrontational at all and certainly not a snob.
When I went to pick DD up that afternoon I got standing with a woman who I considered a friend. I told her what had happened and she burst out laughing and said “but why did you put them on a plate? Some of the others were laughing about it too! They were just hula hoops!” I said I knew they were just hula hoops, they were still in their individual bags, I wasn’t pretending they were anything different!” To which she said “exactly, they were in bags! So why the cling film and plate?” Whilst laughing hysterically.

Months later jokes were still being made in the chat groups about wether to buy crisps from asda of Waitrose etc, jokes about cling film for extra protection etc etc. I came off the chat groups and no longer speak to any of them but I just can’t get over it. Seems like such a massive reaction to crisps?? They’re talking about the possibility of a party at the end of school year if guidance allows and I actually feel sick at the thought of the jokes starting up again.
Was I really so badly in the wrong here?

You didn’t even do anything weird. She lost her grip and used the c word in front of children because one of them mentioned a party plate, that’s weird. What a degenerate

They sound awful. I have never joined WhatsApp. Mainly because of the bitch mums on there.

do a massive Pringle sculpture

Now that, I like.

If there is so little in their life they are still going on about a plate, cling film and Hula Hoops the more pity for them. Just ignore them you really need to move on! They are just a bunch of twats.

Just mean. Ignore and hold your head high. No one should judge others but as you are well aware, some never stop.

@Marvelwife123

First mum who shouted was a piece of work.

However I don’t think the other mums who joked about it had any issues with her putting them on a plate. It was not emptying them and cling filming individually packets to plates....I can see why that’s funny. There’s two separate issues and honestly i would find it funny. Although we need the OP to confirm if this is the case.

Honestly me too. I’d probably have chuckled about it too. Not to be mean but because it’s quite amusing, I mean who puts sealed packets of hula hoops on a party plate and cling films them on. If I’d thought for one moment the person who did it was mortified I’d clearly apologise and not mention it again, but I can easily see how this would amuse everyone and some funny cracks made about it on what’s app, with those making the jokes not dreaming this was a major issue to the op.

If of course they knew the op was so upset by it and carried on, then that’s something different.

We’ve all done stupid things, I’ve lost count of how many I’ve done, but it’s funny, to me. Same with friends and family. And yes we good naturedetly take the piss. A gentle ribbing. It’s not meant or ever taken as some form of sinister bullying.

@Bluntness100 yes this is my point! First person definitely out of order and then OP was probably feeling a bit sensitive.

The other mums found it funny but if I was there and realised she was upset I wouldn’t have mentioned it again. I bet they don’t even realise she still thinks about it or is even upset. I’ve done some proper silly things but I own them and laugh at myself. Putting a usb cable into an Ethernet port springs to mind in our open plan office, it makes a nice crunching sound and I still get the mick taken out of me 🤣🤣

They sound like a pack of she-wolves. Let them f off!!!

Women are totally the worst. So so much meaner than guys when they're being mean. Just very sharp. Judgy. Smug.

You don't need those mums, but the horrid thing is you kind of do, because your child/ren are at school with theirs.

They've decided you're posh and they hate you. : ( That is actually the truth.

I'm not from a posh background. I was the first person from my family to go to university. My grandmother came from a Welsh mining village.

I went to Oxford, bloody marvellous Oxford. And my kids go to private school because my parents were teachers and I was brought up to put education before anything else (apart from love). Private school mums also have their cliques and are also mean.

You need to find the nice mums, whether they/their husbands/their in-laws pay for the school or not.

Some of us are lovely : D

The more I live, the more I think there are only two types of people. Nice ones, and fuckers.

The screaming woman was clearly a weirdo

I don’t know why you are giving any thought to the other women’s chatter? I suspect their comments were tongue in cheek rather then serious. That’s not to say the comments were ok but really move on, what’s the point of being upset about this

I'm not from a posh background. I was the first person from my family to go to university. My grandmother came from a Welsh mining village

I went to Oxford, bloody marvellous Oxford. And my kids go to private school because my parents were teachers and I was brought up to put education before anything else (apart from love). Private school mums also have their cliques and are also mean.

Beep beep 🚂 the stealth boast train has arrived!

I mean what has that got to do with this thread?!

The first woman was definitely ott.

It was unfortunate that your daughter commented & the boy incorrectly relaid the comment, but to have such a rection over something a kid said!

Women are totally the worst. So so much meaner than guys when they're being mean. Just very sharp. Judgy. Smug.

Well aren't you a delight!!

OP not really the point of the thread but I don't think it was at all strange to serve the crisps on a platter like that.

Don't worry OP. As someone who's fifteen years on from the primary school clique years, I can assure you that one day you'll have the satisfaction of seeing the Bitches in the supermarket looking bloody terrible, presumably because they lost their only hobby years ago, didn't ever have any real friends (they were all bad-mouthing each other too), and their husbands have seen them for who they really are and have left them for one of the 'uncool' mums. You won't have to suffer them after July anyway and it'll all become a distant memory.

@Wondermule

I'm not from a posh background. I was the first person from my family to go to university. My grandmother came from a Welsh mining village

I went to Oxford, bloody marvellous Oxford. And my kids go to private school because my parents were teachers and I was brought up to put education before anything else (apart from love). Private school mums also have their cliques and are also mean.

Beep beep 🚂 the stealth boast train has arrived!

I mean what has that got to do with this thread?!

Probably this:

Before I had chance to apologise/explain this woman flung her head back, screamed and said loudly “sick of the snobby cunts here, get to private school!”

I'm baffled as to how hula hoops on a plate would be considered posh? If you'd presented a plate of organic hummus with carrots/cucumber and some home baked bread then perhaps that might be.

I can't decide if YABU or YANBU. It was a waste of plastic putting another layer of clingfilm over what was a small bag of crisps. They don't sound that nice tbh so just ignore.

@LucieStar yes but this isn’t a thread about whether private or state school mums are the bitchiest, that was an off the cuff comment from the nutter lady. We also didn’t need some bizarre backstory about the poster going to Oxford.

The whole thing is bizarre.

Unopened packs of crisps on plates wrapped in cling film would be odd.

Obscene screaming mum was an arsehole.

Friend who made a joke, it was just a joke, you were way too sensitive. She should perhaps have dialled in down when you didn't find it funny, but really, why you left the group or are still giving it headspace is odd.

Just stop thinking about it, it really doesn't matter. Running over it your mind is obsessing over it, you are forcing your brain to relive it when you really don't need to.

Sorry OP I've put YABU because admittedly the mums do sound a bit nasty but in your own words, it seems like a massive reaction to crisps, on your part. It is quite funny that you put them on a plate, still in their packets, with clingfilm on the top. I mean this in a nice way though, it's endearing you went to such effort but it's also a bit strange. If it's mentioned again then just laugh it off and move on with your life. It's really not worth worrying about.

I think I would expect the piss to be take. Out of me if I did something like that. I think you are Bing overly sensitive to be honest

You know, probably it's one of those things that has passed into their conversation and no one remembers actually where it came from except the OP.
Like "Cancel the cheque" or "are you on glue?" on here-I can remember where they came from but not who said it.
And my family has expressions we use that mean something to us "my aunt's a catholic too" means the speaker is going off topic or saying something irrelevant to the matter in hand. I have no idea how that actually came into the general usage in my family.

I suspect that the group is using it as a similar in joke and has no idea that the Op feels upset by it.

Two choices for the OP, tell them they're feeling got at when they use it and ask them to avoid using it. They may well apologise and move on, but if they've forgotten where it came from it could be awkward.
Or run with it, make the jokes too, turn up with every individual crisp double wrapped, and grin with them. if they're trying to be nasty, then the joke will run out quickly, if they're not, then they can laugh with the Op rather than at her.

I'd do the latter.

I also find it weird that the awful woman's benchmark of "snobby" is Hula Hoops on a party plate. I mean, it's hardly caviar on gold plates ffs. Can you imagine what her definition of "common" is, if that's snobby?

I think the posters who haven't witnessed mums screaming in the playground have been lucky/sheltered. I have witnesses several doing so at my kids' school (not at me) and it's a large village, not a city.

Missing the point, but if you bring hula hoops still in the large bags, do you just scatter them randomly on the table or find a plate in the village hall (or whatever) cupboard? But if you kindly bring them on a plate from home, they'd slip off, hence cling film. It all feels very non-hilarious tbh.

I also don't get it, why is carrying a plate of crisp packets covered with cling film funny The cling film was presumably to stop the crisp packets from falling on the floor as the plate was carried. It is odd in my opinion to find this so hilarious 2 years on.