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Original poster

To make him walk when he thinks he's getting a lift.

280 replies

1099 · 19/03/2021 09:04

DS has a detention after school today, (Not his fault obviously he just happened to carry on talking after he'd been warned to be quiet during the lesson!) Anyway that's not the point, I've said I'll meet him after because there are no buses to here from there, only the school bus which he'll have missed obviously.
The school is about 2.5 maybe 3 miles away, I'm thinking of walking up with the dog and then walking home with him (and the dog). The plus side is a nice walk for me and the dog and DS (although he won't appreciate it) the downside is he'll probably moan most of the way home because he's expecting me to be in the car.

OP posts:
Plumbear2 · 19/03/2021 12:42

@Strangekindofwoman

I wouldn't 'punish' my child for talking in class.
And this is why so many teachers are struggling with disrupture pupils and so many kids are having their lessons disrupted. 😠
dootdoot · 19/03/2021 12:44

Absolutely giggling away at the number of people who think taking a 12 year old on a 40 minute dog walk is a really mean punishment.

As the OP says, the dog needs a walk and she shouldn't have to cancel/rearrange her plans for the day because her son got himself in trouble at school! It's not about punishing him further (although I was also in trouble at home for getting in trouble at school) it's about not making his life easier for him when he misbehaves.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/03/2021 12:44

I replied ages ago but also wanted to say this was mainly based on it benefitting the dog!

arethereanyleftatall · 19/03/2021 12:45

Can those saying 'I wouldn't punish my child again' explain why a 2 mile walk is a punishment?

AlecTrevelyan006 · 19/03/2021 12:46

It’s a punishment because that is what op is making it.

Strangekindofwoman · 19/03/2021 12:49

The title of the thread is 'To make him walk when he thinks he's getting a lift'

So it's a punishment.

Plumbear2 · 19/03/2021 12:50

Walking home is not a punishment. But if my child ever thought it was ok to disrupt a lesson then I would punish him. Nothing gives a child the right to disrupt anyone else's education ,if more parents faced the fact their child was being a disruptive pain in the butt and did something about it school would be far more beneficial for everyone.

IFoundMyselfInThisBar · 19/03/2021 12:51

Can those saying 'I wouldn't punish my child again' explain why a 2 mile walk is a punishment?

A 2 mile walk isn’t a punishment in itself. My kids and me run 3 times that distance regularly for exercise. It’s the fact OP is using it to make a point, that part just isn’t for me. If my child got a detention, I would talk to them about it, make sure they understood the reasons for it and the importance of not doing it again and then move on. But parents do things differently, that’s fine, OPs way just isn’t for me.

dontdisturbmenow · 19/03/2021 12:53

instead you're subjecting him to a 3mile walk that YOU want to do, not him
Isn't what normal parents do? Impose things on their kids because they know what's best for them?

Or do some parents oy do the things their kids want to do? No surprise they then grow up with a sense of self importance believing the world revolve around them.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 19/03/2021 12:53

@CRbear

He’s got to learn! I think it’s a great idea. All this double punishment bollocks- walking is not a punishment, it’s good for health!
This, 100%
DdraigGoch · 19/03/2021 12:54

@AlecTrevelyan006

Walking 3 miles is no big deal but if it’s not being done as punishment then what is the point?
It gives him some quality 1-1 time with his mother, some exercise and it teaches him that detention will not get him a personal chauffeur. The dog would have needed walking anyway.
shouldistop · 19/03/2021 12:55

As long as you can put up with the moaning all the way home.

diddl · 19/03/2021 12:57

It's not a punishment.

Op can change her mind about driving if she wants to.

Bloody hell he's 12-he should know the way & Op shouldn't have to be involved at all!

He could have been told yesterday & looked up the way home himself.

DdraigGoch · 19/03/2021 12:58

@Viviennemary

It would be really mean.
Hmm

It's a walk, not a route march.

2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 13:00

@AlecTrevelyan006

It’s a punishment because that is what op is making it.

Good. Punish him.

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 19/03/2021 13:02

@Lentillover1900

Not that water and fruit is a double punishment But the fact he has been punished Means done and dusted and we move on Hence no issue with bringing a treat!
If he doesn't normally get a treat from the newsagents on his way home from school like a five year old, why would OP take him to get one on this particular instance? Just after he's had a detention? There is absolutely nothing wrong with walking home from school and there's certainly nothing wrong with not sweetening the very idea of it with a bag of sweeties. Parents should reinforce school rules at home, they should be on the same team. That doesn't always mean 'double punishments' but neither does it mean rewarding getting a detention and almost apologising for him being expected to walk home afterwards by taking him to the shop to spend his pennies like a toddler.
Strangekindofwoman · 19/03/2021 13:02

@diddl

It's not a punishment.

Op can change her mind about driving if she wants to.

Bloody hell he's 12-he should know the way & Op shouldn't have to be involved at all!

He could have been told yesterday & looked up the way home himself.

I do think a 12 year old should know the way home from school without mummy meeting him out to walk him home.
Catsahoy2021 · 19/03/2021 13:03

It will do him good and it’s not as if he’s being sent up a chimney!
I’d probably not be able to resist being upbeat and perky which will annoy him even more! 🤣

crystalcherry87 · 19/03/2021 13:08

You sound a crank OP.

NotOnMute · 19/03/2021 13:08

I’d do it. With a slightly battered energy bar in the bottom of my handbag, in case of need. Otherwise you’re basically changing your behaviour to avoid being moaned at by a 12yo.Which I wouldn’t do, on principle.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 19/03/2021 13:17

@dootdoot

Absolutely giggling away at the number of people who think taking a 12 year old on a 40 minute dog walk is a really mean punishment.

As the OP says, the dog needs a walk and she shouldn't have to cancel/rearrange her plans for the day because her son got himself in trouble at school! It's not about punishing him further (although I was also in trouble at home for getting in trouble at school) it's about not making his life easier for him when he misbehaves.

Hilarious, isn’t it?

My DDs walk to and from school as it’s only a mile, regardless of the weather. So many of their friends get lifts. They have sensible shoes as per school policy and suitable coats..

On a weekend we might have a walk of 3- 7 miles, which they are perfectly capable of although they might moan before we go out. I’d rather they moan and get some exercise personally and they enjoy it when they get out. It’s healthy to be active every day rather than just doing exercise sessions such as PE. A good walk clears the head and lifts the mood.

I also agree about reinforcing at home what happens at school, I would definitely be talking about it and expecting him to take some responsibility.

With regards to him being unprepared to walk Hmm or under nourished or dehydrated Hmm, why should everything be to please children or for their convenience? What is bad about annoying or upsetting them. They need to learn how to deal with disappointment. He has inconvenience his mum by her having to pick him up, a walk home might remind him of that.

Whythesadface · 19/03/2021 13:28

If you don't present it as a punishment he won't see it as such.
Tell him you desided to walk the dog to meet him.
Ask him to get out his phone, show him the way to plot a walk route him, be he already knows.
Tell him he can walk the dog with you or take the door keys and run home, and have the house to himself for 30 mins.

DdraigGoch · 19/03/2021 13:34

@Lacucuracha

Why doesn’t he know the way from home? Is he wuite new to the school or is he just used to being given a lift?
He's 12 so may have only started at the school last September. The school would have been closed for quite a bit of that time too.
tigger1001 · 19/03/2021 13:45

@dootdoot

Absolutely giggling away at the number of people who think taking a 12 year old on a 40 minute dog walk is a really mean punishment.

As the OP says, the dog needs a walk and she shouldn't have to cancel/rearrange her plans for the day because her son got himself in trouble at school! It's not about punishing him further (although I was also in trouble at home for getting in trouble at school) it's about not making his life easier for him when he misbehaves.

Totally agree with this!

Why should his mum have to reorganise her day to accommodate her sons detention?

It's a natural consequence to him not being able to get the bus.

dootdoot · 19/03/2021 13:49

@tigger1001 exactly, it's not an unrelated extra punishment it's a consequence of his first punishment. If the OP was working/didn't have a car then he would have no choice but to walk anyway! Frankly she's doing him a favour by going to meet him at all and turning a dull walk home into a family walk with the dog and a bit of chat

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