To make him walk when he thinks he's getting a lift.

[1099]

DS has a detention after school today, (Not his fault obviously he just happened to carry on talking after he'd been warned to be quiet during the lesson!) Anyway that's not the point, I've said I'll meet him after because there are no buses to here from there, only the school bus which he'll have missed obviously.
The school is about 2.5 maybe 3 miles away, I'm thinking of walking up with the dog and then walking home with him (and the dog). The plus side is a nice walk for me and the dog and DS (although he won't appreciate it) the downside is he'll probably moan most of the way home because he's expecting me to be in the car.

No wonder there is an obesity epidemic if people think a 12 year old can't walk 3 miles without a trail of snacks and view a simple walk as a punishment!

I’m not on the habit of “double punishing” for something quite trivial (talking in class)

I don't think talking in class when you have already have been asked to stop IS trivial though. He is stopping the teacher from teaching and the other children from learning.
I also don't see it as double punishment - I see it as showing your child that you won't stand for it either.

However, if any teachers reading this agree that talking in class is trivial, then I'll take it back.

walking is not a punishment, assuming he is able-bodied.

perhaps point him at the programme about Billy Monger which was shown last night...

@luxxlisbon

No wonder there is an obesity epidemic if people think a 12 year old can't walk 3 miles without a trail of snacks and view a simple walk as a punishment!

Ha!

You need to look at my teen
Runner bean
On a Friday.... cross country training 7.30-8.30
Football training lunchtime
Double rugby Friday afternoon

He’s ravenous by the end of the day as he has lunch at 12.30 and then nothing until walks in the door at 5.45pm!

@StringyPotatoes

I think it is mean, actually. You've promised him a lift and instead you're subjecting him to a 3mile walk that YOU want to do, not him.

If I was expecting to walk home with someone I might rather enjoy it but if I'd finished work late and was looking for an easy journey home and DH met me on foot to make a point I'd be hurt.

I'm sure DS already acknowledges the stupidity of getting a detention (unless you're going to drip feed that this is a pattern of behaviour from him). Make your point another time or offer to meet him for a walk home another time/walk him up there at the weekend. Don't rescind a promise when he can't do anything about it.

The boy is 12, similar age to my own. He understands plans change during the day. It's not like a 3 year old who would have a tantrum because plans changed. My plans can change multiple times over tne course 9ff tbe school day, luckily my 12 year old is mature enough to understand that and certainly would not kick up a fuss about having to walk when I mentioned a lift. If you have to pushy foot around a 12 year old there's something wrong.

@TheShudderingDentist

I’m shaking my head at the thought of bringing him a snack. No wonder we have so many fat, mollycoddled kids.

Fruit and water isn't a treat? I mentioned it only because I would need water myself for an hour's walk after a day at work.

The summer before ds started secondary at 11/12 he was out and about all over and knew our town and all the short cuts much better than we did, he and his friends would walk miles between houses, footie pitches, supermarkets, country park, food places etc, or just explore. The only time we would drive him would be if he had been somewhere else and didn't have time to walk to meet up, heavy rain, or if it was dark and he would be walking alone.

We mapped his route together a couple of times, just to see how far he had covered and it would regularly be more than 20km over the whole day, and much more when they took their bikes.

I can understand with the last year of restrictions OPs ds not having the same opportunities to spread his wings a bit out with friends before starting secondary. I'm sure if it wasn't on her list before it is now for when restrictions are lifted now!

We always walked 3 miles home, mainly because I spent the bus money on sweets instead! If it was nice it was much nicer walking than a stuffy crowed bus with no air and no seats!

Funny how some see a walk as punishment!!

It's not mean at all. I think it's a great idea, you all get a walk in the fresh air. If he moans tell him not to continue to talk in class after he's been asked not to

Go for it, but make sure you have some headphones/earpiece to block out sound as I suspect the moaning will be of epic proportions.

3 miles is not far. I wouldnt think twice about walking that when i was at school

*think it is mean, actually. You've promised him a lift and instead you're subjecting him to a 3mile walk that YOU want to do, not him.

If I was expecting to walk home with someone I might rather enjoy it but if I'd finished work late and was looking for an easy journey home and DH met me on foot to make a point I'd be hurt.

I'm sure DS already acknowledges the stupidity of getting a detention (unless you're going to drip feed that this is a pattern of behaviour from him). Make your point another time or offer to meet him for a walk home another time/walk him up there at the weekend. Don't rescind a promise when he can't do anything about it*

OMG! It's a 3 mile walk home. She's not sending him down the pit for a 16 hour shift!

No wonder we have so many snowflakes out there

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

Fruit and water isn't a treat? I mentioned it only because I would need water myself for an hour's walk after a day at work.

He can have water at school if he's thirsty, and then again when he gets ho,e surely?

And fruit is a treat, lots of sugar.

Does he need it. No
Is he probably ravenous having likely not eaten since 12.30 and, if like my sons, had football training at lunch break and then had double rugby Friday afternoon, and then have a 3 mile walk ahead of him? Yes

I still don't get this. My children (now aged between 18 and 26) all managed to get themselves home without any extra snacks throughout their secondary school careers despite doing all the sports training, long walks etc, and despite two of them at least having journeys of 40 minutes or more. Likewise their friends. I don't claim any particular virtue on their behalf, it just never occurred to either them or me. I suspect that children grow to expect snacks just because they're given to them rather than that they actually need them.

I'm abit surprised he not walking every day. Three miles isn't that far and a nice walk to get yourself prepared for the day. Yanbu. Walk to meet him with the dog and hopefully enjoy chatting on the way back

I still don't get this. My children (now aged between 18 and 26) all managed to get themselves home without any extra snacks throughout their secondary school careers despite doing all the sports training, long walks etc, and despite two of them at least having journeys of 40 minutes or more. Likewise their friends. I don't claim any particular virtue on their behalf, it just never occurred to either them or me. I suspect that children grow to expect snacks just because they're given to them rather than that they actually need them.

So did we! He can always stop at the shop for a chocolate bar if he gets peckish. We used to love stopping at the sweet shop on the way home (proper sweet shop where they measure out aniseed balls etc from massive glass jars.) This was in the 90s.

Reminds me of a boy who had been kept in detention so had to walk home, having missed the school transport. Half an hour later he was back, breathless, his father behind him. Apparently the boy had forgotten to apologise for his misbehaviour so his father had quick marched him back to school! Never mess with a WO1.

@IFoundMyselfInThisBar

But why? As extra punishment? He’ll have done the detention so if it’s to double punish him then it’s not something I’d do to my children.

Maybe I’m not understanding your reason though.

Does no harm for children to see that trouble will accrue at both ends if they misbehave in school! Good to see a supportive parent.

@Nith

Does he need it. No Is he probably ravenous having likely not eaten since 12.30 and, if like my sons, had football training at lunch break and then had double rugby Friday afternoon, and then have a 3 mile walk ahead of him? Yes

I still don't get this. My children (now aged between 18 and 26) all managed to get themselves home without any extra snacks throughout their secondary school careers despite doing all the sports training, long walks etc, and despite two of them at least having journeys of 40 minutes or more. Likewise their friends. I don't claim any particular virtue on their behalf, it just never occurred to either them or me. I suspect that children grow to expect snacks just because they're given to them rather than that they actually need them.

If I had been doing cross country training for an hour 7.30-8.30am Then lessons until 12.30 Then scoffed a quick lunch at 12.30 (he has ten mins to get lunch before football training starts). Then had football training. Followed by double English lesson Follow by a 25 min cross country run around school grounds to start, followed by 80mins of very fast paced A team rugby training. Quick shower and dress Then get a thirty minute bus Then a 20 min run home

By the time I walked in at 5.45....I would be ready to eat my arm!

Now imagine you’re a 14 year old boy going through puberty with not an ounce of fat on him.

Would you be surprised to discover
A) he ravenous
B) as his parent - you want to make food available to him. And fast!

Definitely walk. Everyone’s a winner. Great exercise for you, dog and growing boy. Tell him you don’t want to hear it if he moans. Maybe he will remember that he doesn’t like walking next time he wants to keep talking when he’s been asked to stop and listen/work.

@Mrgrinch

To be honest it's a but petty, the detention is his punishment. I'd possibly understand if he had done something terrible, but it was only too much talking.

What a poor parent you must be if you consider that disrupting the lesson a teacher had spent time planning and stopping the other children from learning is a minor thing.

My teenagers have all occasionally walked home from the school - which is just over 4 miles away, usually they will catch the bus or I will pick them up - but as I work shifts I have said to them in the past that if they want to go to something after school and I'm working their choice is to walk or not go (regular bus is an option but they aren't that frequent and involve changing buses so they get home faster walking rather than wait 30 minutes for a bus, 10-15minutes bus, wait another 20 minutes then another 10 minute bus) - they would usually say they'd walk

In fact, I know he's older, but when the 16 year old's bubble burst rather than ringing me to pick him up he just walked home (and got home before I saw the text from the school)

Cannot believe people think op is unreasonable.

Just checked our local authority page and they don't even provide a bus here if 3 miles or under. Walking it us.

Enjoy your walk op.

He can have water at school if he's thirsty, and then again when he gets ho,e surely?

He's not expecting a 3 mile walk ha me though. Wish I hadn't mentioned water/fruit - only said it because I would need it myself after a day at work if walking home for the best part of an hour.
Am fully supportive of OP walking him home, which was the point she asked about, not food.

Ans I definitely wouldn't be stopping to buy sweets/chocolate as others have suggested.