To make him walk when he thinks he's getting a lift.

[1099]

DS has a detention after school today, (Not his fault obviously he just happened to carry on talking after he'd been warned to be quiet during the lesson!) Anyway that's not the point, I've said I'll meet him after because there are no buses to here from there, only the school bus which he'll have missed obviously.
The school is about 2.5 maybe 3 miles away, I'm thinking of walking up with the dog and then walking home with him (and the dog). The plus side is a nice walk for me and the dog and DS (although he won't appreciate it) the downside is he'll probably moan most of the way home because he's expecting me to be in the car.

@GreyhoundG1rl
No, if he followed the bus route it would takes him days, it goes all over the area picking people up. We'll be going a more direct route.

@MagicSummer

Why was it 'not his fault, obviously', if the teacher had told him to stop talking and he didn't comply?

She's taking the piss

It has the potential to be a nice experience. Walking, especially with the dog, gives you both a long time to open up to each other.

Just break through the moaning pain barrier first!!

I would walk. Take your earphones incase he starts moan and you can drown him out.

I read that as a joke. Teenagers are notorious for saying nothing is their fault!
God, of course it was a joke.

Seems fine to me. No need to frame it as a punishment but if he does complain you can just remind him that he could have got the bus if he hadn’t got a detention.
I’d probably take a banana or crisps or something to soften the blow a bit but it could be a decent time for you to spend together after the initial moaning if there is any.
I’m sure the dog will act as the peacemaker in it all.

Take snacks

[quote 1099]**@Viviennemary
Why do you think it would be mean, it's Friday he's got nothing to do tonight, no school tomorrow. He'll be on his Xbox most of the weekend. The forecast is fine it's not like we're walking in the pouring rain or anything.[/quote]
I don’t think you’re mean or unreasonable

However you started a thread in AIBU
But then ask a poster why they think you’re being mean
Surely you suspected some may think this if you are asking the question - AIBU?!

Sounds nice to me.

Mine either walks or cycles to school- he has friends to cycle with. (Just over two miles.) The school bus is horrible, takes longer and due to Covid we did not want the extra risk. They only do two PE lessons a week so a walk will be good for him.

Have a lovely time, take a snack to keep him quiet.

And why would he be on his Xbox most of the weekend?

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

I know most girls though would not be in shoes they can walk in

They should be. Easier said than done, I know. But really, why do we as a sex accept that shoes that look right are more important than shoes that fit and are comfortable to walk and if necessary run in? Madness, and storing up foot problems for later in life.

I agree. But my two have to walk, so they have to have comfy shoes.

Many of their friends don't.

and to previous poster who said their girls wear leather vans, I would be hobbling doing 3 miles in vans, but that is just me, most uncomfortable unsupportive shoe in the world.

and I wonder if the walk is on pavements or footpaths? Round here the footpaths are muddy, and most girls shoes wouldn't be robust enough

Age ? 1st detention ?

If this is 1st detention especially if he’s new to secondary I’d collect him. Your allowed one slip up ( or one loss if the jumper, one forgetting one kit mum please bring etc etc )

But if not or next time , he walks - can he not walk alone ? It’s his action that has caused him to miss the bus after all. Natural consequences and al, that

3xcellent lesson. Of course he'll moan, and say unpleasant things, but years later, he'll acknowledge it was a good move and you'll probably laugh about it.

Too many kids getting their ways with parents doing what they want because they don't want to deal with their kids' moaning.

I can't count the number if times my kids would recall days out and the good memories associated with them and when I show surprise because all they seemed to do then was moan, they tell me that they don't remember or that they didn't mean it!

I would do it
And seeing it’s Friday - I’d bring a nice treat for him or stop at a newsagents on the way for him to pick up something tasty

My kids and a lot of their friends managed a 3 mile walk to school and a 3 mile walk back, with their bags every day. It isn't that far,

School really isn’t a long day in the U.K., most state schools are out by 3.15.... my dd is earlier. The private schools we looked at for dd ended 4.15, which would be possibly when the detention ends.

My dd is yr8 and has occasionally walked to another park from school then walked home after that with a group of friends. It’s 3.5 miles. She didn’t go to school yesterday for medical reasons and a couple of friends scooted from their school to our village to meet her after school then went back home before dark.

It really isn’t a big deal.

Great idea.

@lorca 'not my fault' I think the OP is being sarcastic and fully supports the detention for talking in class. To be honest it is hardly the crime of the century but if the teacher has decided on a detention then sobeit.

OP I think walking to meet your DS is a good idea, not as another punishment, but it fits in with your day and perhaps might make him think about how things impact others. The Ddog will be happy, you and your DS can have a chat on the way home perfect. Perhaps a small snack incase of hunger?

@Lentillover1900

I would do it And seeing it’s Friday - I’d bring a nice treat for him or stop at a newsagents on the way for him to pick up something tasty

Yeh that's a good way to give him a pat on the head after receiving a detention. Good boy, pick a comic and a sweetie.

Enjoy your walk, his legs won't drop off for it. No wonder so many kids are obese and have no independence given so many people who think it's a punishment.

I'm amused by the "doesn't he know the way!" comments too. I presume they don't live rurally / semi-rurally to say that - it's perfectly possible to have a non-linear route through a network of footpaths which are difficult to follow from one place to another, and they're not shown on phone maps unless you have the OS app / ViewRanger.

@Lentillover1900
Unreasonable maybe but not mean, I think mean has undertones of cruelty and that's not the case at all.
He likes his Xbox.

And seeing it’s Friday - I’d bring a nice treat for him or stop at a newsagents on the way for him to pick up something tasty

That kind of defeats the object? I'd take some fruit and some water just to be humane but definitely wouldn't be allowing him to pick a treat.

Another who's shocked at some of the replies.

'Hi Johnny, how was your day at school? The weather was nice so I said I'd walk the dog instead of driving'. And off you go. It doesn't have to be a punishment.

Not sure what the "girls would be wearing shoes they can't walk in" is about, tbh.
All schools round here have specific uniform shoes. Not all identical, but a particular type. I've never seen any schoolgirls hobbling about in heels.

My own dd wore docs (the shoe type).

Oh and as for girls not having suitable shoes. Tbh I don’t know any femal friend of dd’s, who doesn’t wear suitable shoes to school. They all wear black trainers eg Nike 270’s, 720’s, Airforce and other (sometimes cheaper) versions of this style. Others wear sketchers either shoe or trainer version.