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AIBU?

To make him walk when he thinks he's getting a lift.

280 replies

1099 · 19/03/2021 09:04

DS has a detention after school today, (Not his fault obviously he just happened to carry on talking after he'd been warned to be quiet during the lesson!) Anyway that's not the point, I've said I'll meet him after because there are no buses to here from there, only the school bus which he'll have missed obviously.
The school is about 2.5 maybe 3 miles away, I'm thinking of walking up with the dog and then walking home with him (and the dog). The plus side is a nice walk for me and the dog and DS (although he won't appreciate it) the downside is he'll probably moan most of the way home because he's expecting me to be in the car.

OP posts:
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TheShudderingDentist · 19/03/2021 10:44

Sometimes I feel like I live in a parallel universe. How is a 3 mile walk long?! My 6 year old walks 1.8 miles to school, and then 1.8 miles back with me every day. It’s hardly a bloody trek through the Amazon rainforest!

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Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 19/03/2021 10:45

I know most girls though would not be in shoes they can walk in

They should be. Easier said than done, I know. But really, why do we as a sex accept that shoes that look right are more important than shoes that fit and are comfortable to walk and if necessary run in? Madness, and storing up foot problems for later in life.

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Taikoo · 19/03/2021 10:45

YANBU.
It's his own stupid fault for getting a detention.
He'll just have to find a way to learn to live with it.

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BigSandyBalls2015 · 19/03/2021 10:47

…. waiting for the drip feed to say he's 17 Grin.

As for girls wearing unsuitable school shoes …. the vast majority round here wear leather vans or kickers, perfect for walking!

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littlefireseverywhere · 19/03/2021 10:47

I think it's a great idea, it might make him think to be quiet the first time he's asked in class, not the 25th!

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MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 19/03/2021 10:48

Good grief, no wonder there are so many fat kids if people think 3 miles is a long walk. 😳
It's fine, the dog gets his walk, you aren't putting yourself out and it will make the kid think twice if he thinks he's getting an easy ride >

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pabloescobarselasticband · 19/03/2021 10:48

Wow judging by some of the replies on here its no wonder there are so many spoilt, entitled brats out there! I used to walk 2.5 miles to school and back every single day with my heavy school bag and a heavy PE bag on some days! My parents wouldn't have ever considered collecting me in the car unless i was ill. It didn't do me any harm, in fact it kept me healthy.

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Viviennemary · 19/03/2021 10:48

I was the kid who hated walking. I felt it was mean to make out he was getting a lift if he wasn't. A long school day, then punishment of a detention then more punishment.

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MidsummersNightie · 19/03/2021 10:50

It's a long walk after a long school day

Contrariwise, it's great to stretch your legs and get a bit of exercise and fresh air after being cooped up in a classroom all day.
As children we used to love dawdling home. Part of being a kid.

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B33Fr33 · 19/03/2021 10:50

A detention? So at secondary school? Obviously 1. Yes it is his fault if the class was warned to be quiet he shouldn't be disruptive so he needs to take responsibility for himself and 2. Wtf doesn't he walk home by himself? He needs to take responsibility for himself, 3 miles is not far. Or is there some drip feed involving crossing a motorway with a shark infested mid section?!

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WeAllHaveWings · 19/03/2021 10:51

I think the walk is a brilliant idea, it is a good way to casually talk about the detention in a non pressured way.

Take him a drink and small snack (apple or whatever) to show he has served his punishment and this isn't an extra one!

Try to get him, without judgement just open questions, to critically think about the effect of his behaviour on the rest of the class, the teacher and also himself (his education and impression he gives to others), how it encourages others in the class to act up etc etc. Then get him to think if, in hindsight thinking of the effect his actions had on others, the detention was fair.

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Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 10:52

That's my daily commute to work, a 2.5 mile walk, with a rucksack for laptop, file etc.

It's a piece of piece, definitely do it, OP! You'd be doing him a favour getting him used to walking.

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Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 10:53

*piece of piss

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HerMammy · 19/03/2021 10:53

What age is he? does he need escorted home?
The heavy bag comments! will these mins be driving him to work??

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GreyhoundG1rl · 19/03/2021 10:56

It depends on whether you're actually happy to do the walk yourself or not. On the face of it; if it's a punishment for him, it's also a punishment for you...
Is he capable of walking by himself? What age?

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2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 10:57

@BigSandyBalls2015

…. waiting for the drip feed to say he's 17 Grin.

As for girls wearing unsuitable school shoes …. the vast majority round here wear leather vans or kickers, perfect for walking!


Yes an utterly stupid comment. Don't wear ridiculous shoes to school then. What the fuck are they walking about on? Stilettos?

And yes, a secondary aged child should already know how to get to and from school by himself. The fact that he's getting on a bus every day and has no idea where he's going if the bus were to break down part way home is just baffling. He needs to learn some life skills.

If he has a smart phone I'm even more confused as he could bring up maps and teach himself how to get home.

Kid needs to grow up a bit it seems.
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MagicSummer · 19/03/2021 10:58

Why was it 'not his fault, obviously', if the teacher had told him to stop talking and he didn't comply?

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1099 · 19/03/2021 10:58

No drip feed I thought I'd said he's 12, also it's not a difficult walk but it's Public Footpaths and country lanes so I thought if I did it with him this time he'll know it for the future.

OP posts:
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GreyhoundG1rl · 19/03/2021 10:58

@1099

No drip feed I thought I'd said he's 12, also it's not a difficult walk but it's Public Footpaths and country lanes so I thought if I did it with him this time he'll know it for the future.

He doesn't know the way??
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olivesnutsandcheeseplease · 19/03/2021 10:59

Great idea. Just take a drink and a snack (and earphones in case he moans)

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Plumbear2 · 19/03/2021 10:59

@Viviennemary

I was the kid who hated walking. I felt it was mean to make out he was getting a lift if he wasn't. A long school day, then punishment of a detention then more punishment.

Lots of people hate walking, they still have to do it. Detention was deserved, own fault it happened. Walking is not a punishment in itself, its a means of travel. If the boy really dosent want to walk he needs to ensure he dosent get another detention.
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Umbivalent · 19/03/2021 11:00

Go for it! Kids need exercise and fresh air anyway.

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RevolvingPivot · 19/03/2021 11:00

Good idea to let him know the way. Also if he hates the walk it may make him think about getting another detention.

We walk every day though plus I carry their bags coats etc so it

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couchparsnip · 19/03/2021 11:02

@OllysArmy

My DB used to regularly get detentions as it meant he missed the school bus and so DM would drive and pick him up which is what he wanted. If she had left him to walk I am sure he would have had far fewer.

I think it’s a great idea.

This is a very good reason to walk!
Having a lift home rather than getting the bus is rewarding him for bad behaviour.

Detention needs to be something he wants to avoid and not an excuse to miss the bus.
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couchparsnip · 19/03/2021 11:03

@MagicSummer

Why was it 'not his fault, obviously', if the teacher had told him to stop talking and he didn't comply?

I read that as a joke. Teenagers are notorious for saying nothing is their fault!
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