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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make him walk when he thinks he's getting a lift.

280 replies

1099 · 19/03/2021 09:04

DS has a detention after school today, (Not his fault obviously he just happened to carry on talking after he'd been warned to be quiet during the lesson!) Anyway that's not the point, I've said I'll meet him after because there are no buses to here from there, only the school bus which he'll have missed obviously.
The school is about 2.5 maybe 3 miles away, I'm thinking of walking up with the dog and then walking home with him (and the dog). The plus side is a nice walk for me and the dog and DS (although he won't appreciate it) the downside is he'll probably moan most of the way home because he's expecting me to be in the car.

OP posts:
Flippyferloppy · 19/03/2021 10:24

Sounds perfect to me. You need to walk the dog anyway, the dog will be chuffed and you son will learn the route for next time!

80sMum · 19/03/2021 10:25

Why not forget about the bus and walk every day?

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 19/03/2021 10:25

I think it's a great idea and will give you some time to have a good one to one chat. Obviously have the headphones ready just in case he starts moaning

Original poster
1099 · 19/03/2021 10:26

@AlecTrevelyan006
Does there need to be a point. It didn't really occur to me until he'd left and I was mulling over having to change the time I'd usually walk the dog so couldn't tell him before.

OP posts:
diamondpony80 · 19/03/2021 10:26

My DS has often walked home from school (about 2.5 miles) - it's not THAT far. Sometimes I just have something else on or need to be elsewhere so I just text him and tell him he's walking. It's not a punishment - the exercise is good for him!

Seriouslymole · 19/03/2021 10:26

Great idea - but do take food to ply him with as you leave otherwise you will both have a miserable walk home is my guess!

Seriouslymole · 19/03/2021 10:27

Also if you said you'd meet him, then you're not breaking any sort of promise. You are meeting him.

Metallicalover · 19/03/2021 10:28

Get the walk in it's a nice 6 miler for you and a 3 miler for him! Have a good chat!
To people saying.... Won't he have a heavy bag? He's a young fit lad! Clearly non of you have a child who goes to dance straight after school! Carrying school bag, sometimes PE kit as well as dance clothes, I thought nothing of it!

TheQueef · 19/03/2021 10:29

Take headphones.
He can get all his chat out outside of school.

Original poster
1099 · 19/03/2021 10:29

@Viviennemary
Why do you think it would be mean, it's Friday he's got nothing to do tonight, no school tomorrow. He'll be on his Xbox most of the weekend. The forecast is fine it's not like we're walking in the pouring rain or anything.

OP posts:
TheBigBazookasOfBrendaBurgess · 19/03/2021 10:29

@Beseigedbykillersquirrels

Good grief, since when was walking home from school a 'punishment'? I actually can't believe some of the responses on here!
Ditto.
ComDummings · 19/03/2021 10:30

It sounds like a punishment for you OP! 2.5 miles of moaning and whining Grin

ViolaValentina · 19/03/2021 10:32

Sounds great to me, you can have a really nice chat while walking Smile.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 19/03/2021 10:32

Some of the comments on this thread make me really feel sorry for teachers. Ok, so talking in class isn't up there with murder, but preventing a teacher from teaching and other children from learning IS pretty terrible in my book if it's more than a one off.

Yes, detention is a punishment but kids need to see that parents and teachers are working together, so if he can't get the school bus, he gets home safely, however that best suits his parents. Which might be walking. And why would they need to tell him that he's walking home in advance?

That the 'poor darling' might have a heavy bag - shame that the OP says it isn't heavy because it would make extra sure that he didn't want to walk home again.

Different parenting styles I guess!

lorca · 19/03/2021 10:33

Wait - DS has a detention after school today, (Not his fault obviously he just happened to carry on talking after he'd been warned to be quiet during the lesson!) - I'm just wondering whose fault you think it is that he got detention ? Hmm

Also wondering if you think he shouldn't have detention for talking after her's been told not to? And now you are wondering if he will be OK walking home? Hmm

3 miles is about - 40mins? If a teenage boy can't do that, there is something wrong.

The PP who suggested that you are 'mean' - fucking hell, people got legs for a reason.

diddl · 19/03/2021 10:33

You said that you'd meet him?

Didn't specify collecting in car?

I'd walk.

How old is he?

Not sure why getting himself home wasn't the original plan anyway.

Not everyone has a car sitting by to collect kids who miss buses for whatever reason!

BitOfFun · 19/03/2021 10:36

lorca, I think you are missing the OP's sarcasm!

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 19/03/2021 10:36

- I'm just wondering whose fault you think it is that he got detention ?

I think the OP knows perfectly well it was his fault- I'm assuming this is a the son's explanation - they always claim it's not their fault.

ChocOrange1 · 19/03/2021 10:37

@HollowTalk

Won't he have a heavy bag?
Loads of kids walk or cycle to school with a heavy bag and they cope every day. He's a teenager, time to stop the mollycoddling.
EggcellentTaste · 19/03/2021 10:37

Knowing the route to walk home when you live about 3 miles way sounds very sensible, regardless of the detention. Understanding that, at that distance, your own legs can carry you (assuming good health) and you don't have to rely on cars or buses is a great liberator.

This isn't a punishment, this is a gift, Truly.

I wouldn't bother with snacks which, to me, are pointless on such a relatively short walk home. Just good natured chat and the dog sounds perfect.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/03/2021 10:38

Absolutely do it. No question.

I'm assuming he's secondary so able to walk alone anyway; so if he moans- say you don't want to listen and send him 100m ahead.

Round my way, the secondary is about 2 miles away. So slightly less than yours but I don't know of anyone who doesn't walk there and back on a daily basis.

pabloescobarselasticband · 19/03/2021 10:39

Perfect idea! Will definitely teach him a lesson and make him think twice about doing it again.

steppemum · 19/03/2021 10:41

@lorca

Wait - DS has a detention after school today, (Not his fault obviously he just happened to carry on talking after he'd been warned to be quiet during the lesson!) - I'm just wondering whose fault you think it is that he got detention ? Hmm

Also wondering if you think he shouldn't have detention for talking after her's been told not to? And now you are wondering if he will be OK walking home? Hmm

3 miles is about - 40mins? If a teenage boy can't do that, there is something wrong.

The PP who suggested that you are 'mean' - fucking hell, people got legs for a reason.

OPs tongue was firmly in her cheek. It is called sarcasm, joking, irony.
2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 10:41

@Viviennemary

It would be really mean.

😭

The poor kid. Call social services!!

Ahwelltoobad · 19/03/2021 10:42

Chance for a nice chat! Great idea, and really not very far to walk.

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