To find care work hard

[Dragisnotacontactsport]

Maybe I'm just not warm enough. I do enjoy the job, I look after people with learning difficulties and autism in their teens and 20s. They are very sweet and it's great to work with them.

However there are some things I'm finding tough. I know it isn't their fault at all and that we are here to support them.

I am sick of having to constantly flush faeces down the toilet. One of the ladies never flushes the toilet, she seems to have understanding of other things, I have tried to show her to flush it several times but she never does.

The same lady also never washes her hands, I put sanitiser on her several times a day but sadly can't be there every time she's used the toilet. Her hands smell of faeces, she will then touch me, she has touched my food and my face mask with them. Once or twice I've been eating and the door rang or something, I came back and she had eaten my food.
I really sometimes think I must be horrible as I don't seem to react in the same way as my colleagues, they really fuss over one lady in particular and constantly tend to her like servants.
I care about them and try to support them but I don't pamper and pander to them with a constant stream of snacks throughout the day.
I don't like to have favourites either but it's evident here.

I will probably get flamed for this, I do like the job and I want to support them, I just find these elements hard. I don't have children or anything so maybe I have less experience with this sort of thing.
Anyone else ever felt this way? I hope I don't sound horrible, I think I am a caring person and want to help them.

It is true that the concern would be reported and any decent provider would consider reporting it to the police. I don't think this work is for you.

Apologies - I really wasn’t suggesting that you had done “enough” for it to be classified as assault.

But inappropriate use of restraint CAN and DOES lead to charges of assault, depending on how “bad” it is, and the threshold isn’t the same as for (eg) DV.

Bless you all, you're amazing for doing care work. I couldn't do this in a million years.

^^ agreed someone putting there faecal smelling hands near me or my food is the stuff of my nightmares. Don't know many who could cope. I couldn't so went to a different kind of carework. You're doing great x

Reading your difficulties OP I think you need training/ experience and a deeper understanding of the job. That's not a criticism - we all start out some time and we have all made mistakes and plenty of them. There will be plenty of experiences that teach us "I'm not doing that again". This is assuming you want to become more skilled in your post rather than decide it's not for you.

Your induction and training were probably not all they should have been if you started recently as in person training probably isn't happening much.

Your comment about how you find yourself exasperated that you have tried to teach someone to flush and they never do. This illustrates the fundamental thing with learning disabilities - you generally don't just tell someone something and they "get it". Of course our clients can learn and change their behaviours but it takes time (if at all). If you could tell them something and they "got it" then they wouldn't have a learning disability and neither you nor I would have our jobs working with these clients.

I don't really get impatient at work (not trying to sound worthy I get very impatient with my kids at home plenty of times) but at work I am employed and paid to be patient and pleasant to the people I work with and if that means (gently) repeating myself 100 times or listening to someone repeat themselves 100 times then that's fine. No one likes the poo parts of the job of course but it's all part and parcel. Dirty hands and nails are not nice and obviously try to clean them when they bathe or "pamper" etc (double glove if you like!) but Covid times mean it is much more acceptable to wear apron/gloves yourself.

Try to be a reflective learner in your job - is there any way you could have handled the flash points differently and better?

The person that scratched because they didn't want to wear something- might it have helped if you held up two choices and asked "the red or the blue?" or might it have been better to say "get dressed then tea and toast?" and if they still objected say "ok - I'll come back in 5 minutes" leave and later try again. I know these might not work depending on your client but they are things we have to try. We are there to support the person not to get the task done if you see what I mean so if someone could button their own shirt (even if it takes them ten times as long as for you to do it) then you should be encouraging them to do it. Old model of care = get "them" washed/dressed/fed etc. Current support model does your client like a bath or shower? Can they wash themselves with prompts? At night or in the morning? What time do they like to get up? .etc.... if you see what I mean. Individual choice within professional boundaries/encouraging healthy lifestyle/dignity etc.

Could you have got the masks back in another way? Lots of possibilities but what do you think would work with your client? A firm voice asking for them? A little bribe "give those back and you can have this (something they like) or we can do (something they like). If nothing would work then things really need to be locked away! It's not ok to take hold of someone unless they are hurting themselves or someone else or smashing the place up (depending on your policies and you should be trained in your physical intervention that is sanctioned in these circumstances). If staff need to hold someone for some other purpose it would need to be a best interest meeting and in their care plan/ a DOLS Deprivation of Liberty issue.

Don't underestimate care - we have loads of professional standards and policies and if you have been in care only three months with little training or your colleagues are not a good example or support to you then you will have a lot you need to learn and perhaps it would be helpful to do some research yourself.

Your dinner being eaten by clients if you get up to answer the door - at my place the kitchen can be locked and I could put it back into the kitchen. Or anywhere you could put it where you can see it while you answer the door. You know the problems, you need to find the solutions.

I find care rewarding and worthwhile. While I had worked in support roles before, my last job just before this one, was retail. When I told my retail colleagues I was leaving and what I was going to do a lot of them said "ooh I could never do that" but I could never feel passionate about selling sweets and pop, so it's horses for courses. My retail shifts used to really drag and my care shifts fly.

I would look beyond other staff being loud about "how cute" people are. Suss out which staff are positive/kind/patient and professional including when the client is challenging them. That is much more important.

I work on the same role as you, sounds like normal behaviour to me, you have litteraly described every shift I've ever worked lol

i just accept that this is why i am there and everybody's need's and capacity is different and if it means i have to flush/ clean poo pff the walls for the 3rd time that day then that's what i will do, over and over again. It is a challenging role and it isn't for eveyone. I have had so terrible shifts but I've had way more amazing shifts aswell, I've made memories with my citizens that i will remember forever.

I work supporting young people in their 20s with lds for the NHS in their own homes. I'm quite lucky where I work their lds are more on the mild side. there's one male who constantly repeats himself, that can be challenging at times but overall it's a pretty easy job. Lots of walks out, day trips, trips out to the cinema, meals out holidays ect.(before covid) the people we support all have groups they go to, really active social lives and it's nice to see them living their best lives. I do think you have to enjoy the job to do it, I care about the people I support but once Works finished it's finished whereas other staff really go above and beyond and are really motivated which is great you can really tell the difference between the ones who really care and the ones who just do it as a job. the things you have described sound pretty normal behaviours though, hygiene is not high on any of the people I supports agenda, it's just part of the job. we wouldn't be able to grab someone either, we would get in a lot of trouble for that.

Also to add there have been days when I've left crying and told my self im going to quit!

It’s a really tough job OP, I did it when younger and enjoyed it but would not have wanted to make a career out of it.

If you need or want to do care work for now, perhaps look at caring for older people, or a nursery assistant gig, or hospital nursing assistant. It doesn’t sound like what you are currently doing is quite right for you.

It’s a tough job for sure but you sound untrained and completely lacking in understanding of the client group. I think you should look for alternative jobs for your sake and the those you care for.

I couldn't be a carer. I don't have it in me. It's why I push myself to be in a career so I can afford to pay for it for my family. I hope that's not crass.

@Winter2020 I love your post and I would've loved to have worked with you.

Have you had training on person centred care OP?

That's the fundamentals of caring for someone with a learning disability and what all staff should be striving to do

Absolutely YANBU, just reading your OP made me feel physically sick.

I am in awe of anyone who can stomach care work, and very aware many have little choice but to do it. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’d rather turn to sex work than do care work. Carers amaze me.

@Dragisnotacontactsport

Sorry to hear you went through those things, it sounds like you really tried hard and I can understand it was too much.

I think I'm just like that in general, the same with children, I'm caring but I've never been one to make a huge fuss and so on.

One of the ladies grabbed all the masks from the packet we had and then touched them with dirty hands so obviously we couldn't wear them anymore. We had another service user and if she ate staff food they would take the money out of her purse for it. With this other one, they just laugh and say oh isn't she cute. It's just favouritism again.

Staff are helping themselves to money from clients purses?

On what planet would that ever be ok? Report them to senior managers and if nothing is done, report them to the police.

Standards sound woefully inadequate. It isn’t favouritism to not take money from some clients. It’s theft to take money from any and a blatant abuse of their vulnerability.

reading the detail really makes you realise how utterly ridiculous the gov. suggestion (Boris?) last year that anyone unemployed could turn their hand to carework was.
& all the protest about 1% increase for NHS? well it's 1% more than care workers,

It's a really tough job and underpaid for what's involved. Yanbu.

15ClarkeGriffin

Quote " It's a shit job......."

Sorry to write more but I had to respond to this. I love, love, love my job! For the right person with a decent employer it's a fantastic job! We are all different. I think sitting at a computer 8-6 is a shit job and just the thought of it makes me want to lie on the ground and roll around! (I have a degree and post grad so I could reasonably have the choice). One (wo)man's meat is another's poison.

[quote Heartofglass12345]@Winter2020 I love your post and I would've loved to have worked with you.

Have you had training on person centred care OP?

That's the fundamentals of caring for someone with a learning disability and what all staff should be striving to do [/quote]

Yes - person centred care. The principles of Positive Behaviour Support (PBS) are pretty central in care for people with LD.

@DenisetheMenace

GraduallyWatermelon

Honestly, as someone who works in the sector I really would suggest you ask your employer for some further training in learning disabilities and autism.

The people you care for need looking after - a learning disability affects the way someone learns new things, so there are some skills (like flushing the loo, washing hands, appropriate social interaction) so they need someone to help them.

Grabbing someone is never ever acceptable - if I had seen this happen I would have reported it to your manager immediately as a safeguarding concern and they likely would have suspended you. Depending on the person you grabbed and the situation, I would have considered phoning the police - it could be considered assault.

If you aren't motivated to have further training, I really would urge you to reconsider - care is not for everyone.“

Please really digest this, OP. I suspect there are many people atm who have “resorted” to care because they can’t find any other work. Until now, they thought it was a cushy number and the kipper of reality has slapped them hard about the face.
If nothing else comes from this godawful year, I hope that at least the general public will - finally - appreciate that this is a specialism akin to every other medical and social service that needs to be recognised and rewarded appropriately.

I don’t think anyone has ever considered care work to be a cushy number it’s well known that it’s absolutely shit pay, you rarely get paid for travel time, you’re often delivering personal care and dealing with other people’s bodily functions, for generally not much above min wage. People who ‘resort’ to care work (as opposed to those who freely choose and see it as a calling) don’t do it because they think they’ve found a cushy job. They do it because they’re desperate to feed themselves and pay the rent.

RoseLimeade

Just re-read my post. Sorry, can see it came across badly. I absolutely do not think it’s cushy work. Quite the very opposite.
It’s demanding work, physically and emotionally.
Unfortunately, this isn’t widely recognised and I do think that some people do - mistakenly - feel it’s easy, unskilled work. Until they actually try to do it, of course.

It’s a specialist profession that deserves the utmost recognition and respect,

@Winter2020 you sound a wonderful carer

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

reading the detail really makes you realise how utterly ridiculous the gov. suggestion (Boris?) last year that anyone unemployed could turn their hand to carework was. & all the protest about 1% increase for NHS? well it's 1% more than care workers,

As an NHS worker I would wholeheartedly support not getting a payrise if it meant carers would. I know it’s not in the government’s hands in the same way as carers are employed privately. But I would. I can’t get up in arms about not getting a payrise personally after the year we’ve all had when there are people doing backbreaking work for peanuts in other roles too.

It's a hard job, I've been in it for 14 years and done a bit of everything. I'm currently on a 24hr shift staying with a guy who is autistic, mentally it's hard, 15 hours a day is constant noise, of course it's not his fault is just the way he is and you do learn to switch off. In your case though maybe you should look for a role that is social support, I done this previously and it's more along the lines of going out shopping, lunch, dinner, day trips, maybe a bit of housework etc. Just sort of being a friend, most do have learning difficulties but in my case my clients were pretty much independent. It's a much easier job tbh if your not enjoying the job your in at the moment and might be worth looking into.

Horses for courses, it's not something I'm cut out for either.

@DenisetheMenace

RoseLimeade

Just re-read my post. Sorry, can see it came across badly. I absolutely do not think it’s cushy work. Quite the very opposite.
It’s demanding work, physically and emotionally.
Unfortunately, this isn’t widely recognised and I do think that some people do - mistakenly - feel it’s easy, unskilled work. Until they actually try to do it, of course.

It’s a specialist profession that deserves the utmost recognition and respect,

I agree entirely. I see what you mean, and there is a major problem with people who don’t work in care perceiving it to be a job anyone could walk into and be good at. Sadly people can easily walk into care work because the barrier to entry is low and they’re always desperate for staff. But it’s not something many can do well or everyone can stomach. It absolutely should be as respected as nursing.

I should also add that not every carer is the right match for every client, sometimes it just didn't work. It did only happen with 2 for me, both with the same name funny enough! 😆 I don't think I could deal with the op's current situation though and I would be asking to get taken out, sound like a tough shift