Does this piss you off or AIBU?

[Besswess88]

Today in a shop I dropped something out of my pocket at the self service, I knew I had but before I had a chance to pick it up a kindly man behind me said “you’ve dropped your card darlin” (my age, mid forties).

I know in the scheme of things it’s not important but anyone else absolutely hate being called “terms of endearment” by absolute strangers, esp when they are men.

It’s that low level misogyny that just grates on me.

I 'allow' certain categories of people to use the words sweetheart/darlin/love etc.

What I detest is NHS staff addressing their patients like this (I am NHS) patronising, and just wrong!

So I think the chap was just being nice, and no malice or intent intended.

I'm a Londoner too, and have grown up with market traders using these terms, and I've thought nothing of it, and wouldn't even now.

But I do get you OP

Jesus Christ he was just being nice. If you pull men up for that too what a fucking shit world we live in. Stop looking for offence when people are just being nice ffs.

I don't like it at all.
Me and my friends might call each other terms of endearment but I don't like strangers calling me love or darling.
It's overfamiliar and I do understand it generally isn't meant to be anything but friendly but it really makes me bristle.
I find it's often used in a slightly passive aggressive way too.
A couple of people at work call me hun. Urgh.
Usually I ignore it but I have addressed it a couple of times when it felt really inappropriate like when I was upset and making a complaint.

It's not always misogyny but it sometimes is.

You're not only unreasonable, you're bonkers.

My lover is ok, but darling is misogyny

Give us a break.

YABU.

I don't find it odd or offensive at all, where I come from it's very, very common to use terms of endearment, it feels quite weird if others don't call you 'love, chick, darling, honey, sweetie or babe'
It'd probably drive you bonkers but I love it

No I actually like it.

Ah, the feminist "woke" and professionally offended. He shouldn't have dared to stand behind you because that, too, is MISOGYNY.

I think it's nice. He was being kind.

Some people actually voted that OP is being reasonable. I wonder how these people get through life. Honestly there is no end to this nonsense.

No, wouldn't bother me. "Darling" and "love" are used by women to men and women to other women in this sort of context all the time down my way.

Ha ha ha. "Be kind". But not too kind in a possibly over-familiar way in case you inadvertently damage an over-sensitive soul. Clapham OP. Complain about that.

Petal is a very common term of endearment in the NE, as always context is everything. It's not offensive here as it's not usually (ever, in my experience) used to demean.

It sounds like you can’t be told anything “I already knew I had dropped it” seems like you’re always right and it riles you when anyone says anything to you.

In our city we call each other "love*. Absolutely no misogny ! Please try to relax

Wouldn't bother me at all, I think we need to get over being offended at every little thing.

This went well.for OP.

As others have said, you may not like it but this is not misogyny. Please don't use the word in this context - eventually it becomes meaningless and we will have no word for the real issue, and those issues will be further downplayed.

@SkiingIsHeaven

Some people are just desperate to be offended.

Absolutely.

Honestly how desperate do you have to be, to be offended by this? It is really sad to think that people are just looking to be upset when someone tries to help them.

@greycloudysky wow unbelievable

@Lacucuracha bad manners.?

I honestly don't care.

I like the practice of strangers using terns of endearment for each other, honestly. Makes the world a friendlier place. As long as it's not sarcastic, of course.

I also find it really interesting to see who does it to who. There are definitely patterns both in whether endearments are used and what those endearmemts are depending on the age and gender of both people involved. Leaving age aside, I find that women use them more, and use similar terms for both make and female listeners, while men use them less and use different ones depending on the listener's gender

I worry about the future. People can't say anything at all these days.

@Lubiluxe

I worry about the future. People can't say anything at all these days.

Don't be so ridiculous!