Orthodontist with reputation asking 13 what her issues with how her teeth look and are... She's blissfully unaware...

[SpringisSpinning]

Dd has an over bite, we've been reffered, waiting list for years but also told the treatment timing is critical, jaw growth.

With covid etc it's been challenging, anyway, finally get her in and have phone appointments etc.

Orthadonrist asking questions about how daughter feels? I say well she's only known what's she's know re teeth and cosmetically she's blissfully unaware of looks etc.

He then asked her this when we saw him... And again the last time "what is your problem with your teeth, what do you hope to achieve... How do you feel about now your teeth look."

He's actually got a reputation for being rude and I'm absolutely furious that instead of simply doing the treatment he's asking these questions.

The reasons I am upset is because dd is very comfortable in her looks, she's not one for pamper parties, make up, nails etc at all.

She's 13 and seems very happy in her skin. She's not into shaving legs etc and seems wonderfully un touched by this media on slaught.

So to couch these questions on looks me.also on terms of looks how she feels now.... And how self conscious she may feel at 16 are vastly different things...

And its not something I want to even talk about because then it sounds like she does have a problem!!

My son has recently got his braces as has a severe overbite, I am so grateful for him getting his treatment from the NHS that they could be asking what colour knickers I was wearing each time and I wouldnt be bothered.

and my son wouldn't be bothered by any questions either as he is over the moon to be having them sorted out and gets a McDonald’s after every appointment, so he’s happy to go each time.

I was an orthodontic dental nurse. If people are happy with the way their teeth look they won't wear the brace if it's removal or won't properly look after it it's a fixed. Orthodontic treatment is a very long process involving a lot of time and appointments. If your daughters happy with her teeth just leave them

She is 13! What's wrong with answering some questions??

I have two sons with braces for an overbite from a similar age. One treated on NHS, the other privately. The orthodontist asked the same questions of both of them. I had no problems with that whatsoever. As a HCP myself I can see it's part of gaining verbal consent for ongoing treatment, particularly important when under 16.
Your DD is 13 and should be able to understand the need for such questioning. I've seen this before, your attitude is going to give her anxiety issues.

Christ almighty.

Sorry OP you sound crazy.

Just read abit more of the thread sorry. If she's been referred to the hospital it means it's out of the orthdontists remit and she needs a consultant to either do the treatment or oversee the treatment. You're being very difficult, just listen to the professionals and know that they ask questions for a reason not to make anyone feel bad. FWIW- I work in a dental hospital and they work they do is phenomenal.

Tbis is part of gaining informed consent and managing expectations. He must gain informed consent. It is also very important to go through these questions with a child to ensure that they actually want treatment and aren't being inappropriately encouraged by a care giver

I had an operation for an overbite, it is so painful and very invasive to go through at a young age.

Whilst I do not regret the operation I can appreciate the questions its a lot of pain to go through if it's something that doesn't bother her. Not only is it the op it's the months afterwards, I had to have my jaw wired to keep bite in place which made me more conscious as people would question why I had rubber bands between my top and bottom jaw.

Has being asked these questions three times actually had an impact on your daughter? Or just you?

@Arrierttyclock

Just read abit more of the thread sorry. If she's been referred to the hospital it means it's out of the orthdontists remit and she needs a consultant to either do the treatment or oversee the treatment. You're being very difficult, just listen to the professionals and know that they ask questions for a reason not to make anyone feel bad. FWIW- I work in a dental hospital and they work they do is phenomenal.

I think the OP is downplaying the ‘small lower jaw’ of her daughter as perhaps she knows it’s a problematic situation (perhaps micrognathia, hence hospital referral) and knows it’s a problem/not aesthetic but is very defensive of her child who isn’t perhaps currently aware she has a problem. Especially as she has another child very concerned about her appearance already.

Now, if it is something like that condition, when the daughter does finally cotton on to appearances, which she will, she’ll be very pleased it’s already been tended to.

I think it’s important, however, that OP starts to tackle her own feelings around appearances which don’t sound particularly healthy. Especially as she’s projecting something strange onto the clinician doing the work.

You sound like an absolute nightmare. Poor orthodontist.

@Advic3Pl3as3

Has being asked these questions three times actually had an impact on your daughter? Or just you?

Also.... op, they're asking HER, not you. If you're answering then maybe that's another reason they keep asking. They want HER answer.

If anyone's going to give your daughter a complex it's not the orthodontist.

Just read this thread ( dentists here).
I would personally pick up the phone and contact the orthodontist directly and have a private chat. This would probably be dealt with easily and happily all round with a bit of communication and forward warning between the adults involved in how best to approach.

Absolutely standard questions.
Would you prefer the orthodontist carried out treatment you were both unaware of?

I can't comment on his rudeness and please I don't wish to scare you! but I would give the advise to take any treatment going in the teenage years. I refused as a teenager and then spent 6 years in my 20s needing braces and corrective jaw surgery as a result as my teeth were going into the roof of my mouth! I wish I could go back and wear them.

Also, the NHS has really stringent criteria for funding orthodontic work in primary care. Even more rare to get a hospital referral and treatment on the NHS. This means the treatment has been assessed as medically necessary and complex.

@SpringisSpinning Your DD is not being given cosmetic dentistry. This is necessary medical treatment of a teen that requires the treating HCP to regularly check for consent. If you find these appointments triggering, I suggest you let your DD have her appointments on her own ( in fact I’m amazed during COVID you are allowed in the room).

Wow. I e just gone through the whole thread.

Are you always this rude @SpringisSpinning?

I wonder if it's because he's wondering how far he needs to take the treatment. My orthodontist used to ask me at different stages things like 'we can shift this tooth but it will take 6 months, does it bother you?' As it would affect the treatment plan. Maybe he's just balancing what's required functionally with your daughter's expectations. And if he is not sure of the answer, then he'll keep asking.

I'd ask him why he's asking. Next time he asks, just say 'is that an issue?' You have the opportunity then to have a proper discussion.

I have a significant overbite (12mm) and so I've been down this treatment path. I was asked these questions at every appointment, to see if I really wanted the treatment, but also to manage my expectations about what can be done. In the end I didn't go ahead, as I didn't want my jaw broken for what in my case was a cosmetic procedure, as the risks seemed to great. My mother in law had the same issue and did have it done 20 years earlier, and she's had repeated issues with her jaw since, constant pain, abscesses, even a tumour, so I have to admit I'm very glad they didn't sugar coat it for me as while my teether both me more as an adult than they did as a teen, if I'd thought I'd end up with perfect teeth I'd have jumped in feet first and while I may be in a better state for it now, I may also not.

@VikingsandDragons

I have a significant overbite (12mm) and so I've been down this treatment path. I was asked these questions at every appointment, to see if I really wanted the treatment, but also to manage my expectations about what can be done. In the end I didn't go ahead, as I didn't want my jaw broken for what in my case was a cosmetic procedure, as the risks seemed to great. My mother in law had the same issue and did have it done 20 years earlier, and she's had repeated issues with her jaw since, constant pain, abscesses, even a tumour, so I have to admit I'm very glad they didn't sugar coat it for me as while my teether both me more as an adult than they did as a teen, if I'd thought I'd end up with perfect teeth I'd have jumped in feet first and while I may be in a better state for it now, I may also not.

Just to balance that if anyone is due to have surgery, my DD had surgery on her jaw 12 years ago. It is brutal, it does take months to properly recover, the bruising is very deep and her appearance kept changing for months as the deep bruising improved. The result was brilliant, she doesn't regret it but glad she won't need it done again. It cured migraines and jaw pain.

I think absolute honesty is needed, I wish we had been warned that the recovery would take so long, the changes are subtle but for about a year to see your appearance changing is unsettling. The one thing I suggested to the surgeon and orthodontist was don't look at this teenager whose face is swollen and distorted and tell them it looks great, it looks terrible for the first couple of weeks, tell them the bite is great and once the swelling goes down it will look great but my DD was horrified that they thought she looked great when she looked like she'd had a tough fight with a heavy weight champion.

Hi OP, to answer your questions - yes, they did ask the questions fairly frequently of both my daughter and I. When you allow the lower jaw to grow or have it broken and reset it does change your face shape a little so it helps to be prepared for this. It sounds as though your daughter is currently fitted with a block brace to lift the top jaw and allow the lower one room to expand. My daughter had this. It isn't fun but if they have caught her growth spurt right then she won't have to use it for long. And that is so much better than the operation, which involves having stitches to deep wounds inside both sides of your lower jaw, making it really hard to eat for about 2 weeks. Plus your face is swollen for ages after.

My complications involved reacting to the plates they put in when repositioning the jaw (so they then had to operate AGAIN and remove them), permanent nerve damage to my lower lip (this is a very common side effect) and a later 9 hour long op to repair to a fistula in a vein / artery that was damaged in the original breaking process.

I understand that it is probably troubling seeing your daughter going through this and being made aware that her jaw isn't standard but again, I'd urge you to persevere. As she isn't bothered by it, it may be that the orthodontist is repeating the questions to make her aware of why she should go through with it.

As I said before, I had no idea when I was 13 and said no to treatment that in 15 years time my upper teeth would be pushing food down my bottom teeth's gum line, eroding my jaw through repeated infections. Teeth move as you age and what was ok when I was 13 changed.

Your post is very odd.
Your daughter clearly has an issue which she’s been referred for and you are getting treatment for free. The orthodontist needs to ask questions, your daughter can’t be all that blissfully unaware of her looks if she’s got braces on, she’s 13 she may not care now but she might care in 5 years time.

I can tell you the effect sticky our teeth have on people, years of bullying, terrible self esteem and confidence!! However not only did I have sticky out teeth I had a massively short jaw. I was braced with removable devices for years until I had teeth removed and blocks and wires for 4 sodding years I hated them, also a mouth breather so always felt like my breath smelled. Braces were removed, after extensive surgery, implant to chin, plates and wires to both bottom and top jaw. So of course the orthodontists need to check your daughter is aware of what is happening to HER body, what she wants to happen to HER body she’s not a little girl anymore they needs to make her aware of the changes this treatment will bring and make sure she is aware. Perhaps you speak for her and they are concerned? Who knows.
She’s also not ‘deformed’ everyone is different and if things can be done to adjust her jaw to make it more comfortable for her and look better crack on. Otherwise you could’ve explained all this to your daughter and she could’ve said no, you could’ve said no to the treatment, however you didn’t. Hopefully she’ll not need to go through what I did. My recovery wasn’t too awful though sorry to hear of those who had a traumatic and painful time.

@SpringisSpinning

It's like saying to child.. Your arm is broken we need a cast You have appoint and get your cast.

You have follow up to check all is OK. Does person ask about why your there, how do you feel about cast and bone healing, will it you cosmetically.... At every appt?

No you just get the broken bone fixed?

Actually yes, they do. I broke my arm as a teen (complex and took a long time/lot of appointments) and they asked how it felt, what my range of movement was like, any pins & needles, how the scars were healing, how it was affecting my daily activities etc. Totally normal.

When I had braces, I was also asked about how they felt and what I thought the issue was.

I’m sure your daughter is already aware of her issues, why else does she think she’s there? It honestly sounds like you’re the one making a big deal out of her appearance.