Orthodontist with reputation asking 13 what her issues with how her teeth look and are... She's blissfully unaware...

[SpringisSpinning]

Dd has an over bite, we've been reffered, waiting list for years but also told the treatment timing is critical, jaw growth.

With covid etc it's been challenging, anyway, finally get her in and have phone appointments etc.

Orthadonrist asking questions about how daughter feels? I say well she's only known what's she's know re teeth and cosmetically she's blissfully unaware of looks etc.

He then asked her this when we saw him... And again the last time "what is your problem with your teeth, what do you hope to achieve... How do you feel about now your teeth look."

He's actually got a reputation for being rude and I'm absolutely furious that instead of simply doing the treatment he's asking these questions.

The reasons I am upset is because dd is very comfortable in her looks, she's not one for pamper parties, make up, nails etc at all.

She's 13 and seems very happy in her skin. She's not into shaving legs etc and seems wonderfully un touched by this media on slaught.

So to couch these questions on looks me.also on terms of looks how she feels now.... And how self conscious she may feel at 16 are vastly different things...

And its not something I want to even talk about because then it sounds like she does have a problem!!

@SpringisSpinning

It's not been inital assement he's talking about it all the time.

Its bizzare.. We we're refereed.

Being refereed by an orthodontist would be fairly bizarre, yes.

she supposed to start wondering.. What is wrong my jaw... Goodness yes.. It doesn't actually match up.. Look at that girl in that photo..yes mine is different isn't it... And start comparing herself??Why draw unnecessary attention to it

Um isn’t the fact she needs to get it corrected going to maybe give her a clue something is up?

It's my spell check.

I assume your bright enough to know what I mean.

OP, why does your DD think she is going to these appointments?

OP - you sound like a nightmare.

You are talking about a form of medical treatment. Your DD is old enough to consent so the orthodontist clearly needs to establish whether she actually wants the treatment or not!

@Serin

It is no wonder some orthofontisrs ask parents to remain in the waiting room.

🤣🤣🤣

No bluntness not to the degree of how she looks.

No.

It's the same to her as having a baby tooth out because she knocked it and it went black.

If that had turned into endless questions.. Well how would you feel about this black tooth... Do you think it affects your looks etc.. As she progresses as a teen then...

Just, can I ask how a 13 year old could possibly know!

We are also in our medical treatment and she's wearing a brace.

Is it OK to draw young girls attention to deformity?

OP, they are standard questions. I had an overbite (corrected in 30s), dd had one (corrected aged 12).

But please - do not listen to people saying 'just leave it'. I did that... if they can catch it before her growth spurt and train the jaw to grow into place it is so much better than having the opreation.

The operation is brutal -I had it, thanks to being allowed to decide to leave my bite whn in my teens. Unfortunately my bite later caused complications and I nearly lost some teeth. You just can't tell what the implications will be as time goes by. She has been referred for a reason and they have recently tightened referal criteria, too so there must be a really good reason.

I'm really sorry if I am being thick but I can't see the issue

He is not just asking about cosmetic issues. I have had so much trouble with my teeth because my childhood dentist didn't refer me to an orthodontist. I won't give you the list of painful expensive work but just the current problem...

My bite is probably my reason for TMJ and l'm on codeine AGAIN this evening.

Please get your DD teeth sorted. If you feel he is emphasising the appearance too much, ask him not to. Then it's done. We are very lucky we can get these issues sorted. She will not thank you if you delay treatment or change ortho person or whatever it is you want to do.

@bluebellscorner you won't get facial asymmetry because you don't have orthodontic treatment.

Even if someone has a major skeletal discrepancy needing surgery it's still down to patient motivation. If someone is happy with their teeth and has no functional issue or is managing their functional issues then there's no reason to have surgery.

Orthondics is massively down to compliance, the orthodontist maybe able to correct the malocclusion but the hard work is lifelong wear of a retainer, plus patient maintenance. If someone isn't bothered then they are less likely to wear their retainer, its a waste of time for all involved if the patient does not want orthodontic treatment. And at the end of the day its the DDs choice

Perfectly normal and not rude for a dentist to ask this.

@SpringisSpinning

We are also in our medical treatment and she's wearing a brace.

Is it OK to draw young girls attention to deformity?

Blimey

I don't think anyone has ever referred to my tiny overbite as a deformity. Mine is

@HesSpartacus

Did they ask these at every single appt? Three times now.. What's the point? OK at the start to establish expectations but now we are at monitor stage appoint 1 of that?

Like you said you had complications.. How on earth am I or she supposed to know about that

It's been drummed into me by dentist and loca orth to catch it now with jaw growth etc... With covid our appointment was delayed and we'd already had massive delay... To me it seems an unowwn. Maybe it won't cause headaches and otherissues as jW

Grows but maybe it will...

So why not ask q at first appt then just get into treatment??

OP the comments are fairly unanimous yet you insist you are right. What’s the point in asking? If it did make your daughter conscious of her teeth, well what does t really matter, they’re about to be fixed and lovely. It won’t be a lifetime hangup. She’s going through this she deserves to have her input.

she IS seeing a specialist because she DOES have a problem. these are standard professional questions to gage expectations

But the problem is overbite not appearance.

I'm with the OP. Children are referred to orthodontists because of crowding, overbite and other issues which can actually cause problems quite aside from any cosmetic consideration. Making cosmetics the start point is the wrong way around.

OP: One of mine was referred for overbite as a teen about ten years ago. The NHS consultant she saw was great and focused first of all on understanding the extent impact to daily life, likely change as she grew. Then having established that the overbite was small and would be a small impact on her jaw/bite etc discussed how she felt about her appearance quite casually to gauge her feelings.

The balance of benefits was clearly against jaw surgery for DD with a very small overbite but the way it was managed left DD happy and not feeling questioned about her appearance at an age where teens are very self conscious.

So either the process has changed in add greater insensitivity or the consultant was a bit of an arse.

Totally standard questions from an orthodontist.

Luna.. That's the whole thing issue.. It sounds like he's trying to get rid..

Why are you here? To a 13 year old.

She's there because dentist and local orth refeed us to hostisl orth.

That's the whole issue!!

I'm pretty certain the appliance she has in her mouth already draws enough attention to the 'deformity' why does she think she's getting braces? The act of getting braces suggests there's something 'wrong' in the first place

Its hardly like hes saying 'God we better correct these bloody ugly crooked teeth' is it? Better he actually asks 'what don't you like' rather than assume she doesn't like something.

You will thoroughly embarrass yourself if you write to pals saying the orthodontist asked my daughter what she didn't like about her teeth

Why on earth are you putting her through painful treatment if she doesn't care? The vast majority of people have an overbite and it doesn't bother them because it's normal.

Is she supposed to start wondering.. What is wrong my jaw... Goodness yes.. It doesn't actually match up.. Look at that girl in that photo..yes mine is different isn't it... And start comparing herself??

So what does she think the treatment is for is she's unaware her jaw is underdeveloped? Don't you agree teens should be given the full facts about medical treatment then?

I really think you are overreacting here, these sound like normal questions and not rude at all. He asked regularly throughout the treatment so he can keep up to date with how your daughter is getting on with it and how she feels about it.
I think you are being unreasonable if you think it is realistic to avoid him asking anything directly to your daughter for fear she will think she has something “wrong” with her - all while going through long term orthodontist treatment!

Ch8 interesting.

I'm questioning why at every appt we need these questions.

Train me in over bites. Jaw growth, future problems... And I'll give an educated a answer other wise how on God's earth couid we know??