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Original poster

Orthodontist with reputation asking 13 what her issues with how her teeth look and are... She's blissfully unaware...

204 replies

SpringisSpinning · 17/03/2021 20:35

Dd has an over bite, we've been reffered, waiting list for years but also told the treatment timing is critical, jaw growth.

With covid etc it's been challenging, anyway, finally get her in and have phone appointments etc.

Orthadonrist asking questions about how daughter feels? I say well she's only known what's she's know re teeth and cosmetically she's blissfully unaware of looks etc.

He then asked her this when we saw him... And again the last time "what is your problem with your teeth, what do you hope to achieve... How do you feel about now your teeth look."

He's actually got a reputation for being rude and I'm absolutely furious that instead of simply doing the treatment he's asking these questions.

The reasons I am upset is because dd is very comfortable in her looks, she's not one for pamper parties, make up, nails etc at all.

She's 13 and seems very happy in her skin. She's not into shaving legs etc and seems wonderfully un touched by this media on slaught.

So to couch these questions on looks me.also on terms of looks how she feels now.... And how self conscious she may feel at 16 are vastly different things...

And its not something I want to even talk about because then it sounds like she does have a problem!!

OP posts:
Original poster
SpringisSpinning · 17/03/2021 22:03

..... I'm so conscious about rasing a daughter in this climate of sm everywhere.... Teen a magazines were bad enough in my day! I used to get just 17 then realised it made me feel so bad about myself!

I'm staggered that anyone thinks it's OK to ask these questions of sensitive young teens!!

I a going to raise it through pals.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpringisSpinning · 17/03/2021 22:04

It's not been inital assement he's talking about it all the time.

Its bizzare.. We we're refereed.

OP posts:
ancientgran · 17/03/2021 22:06

Do they think she will need jaw surgery? It is pretty brutal, my DD had it done DS decided he didn't want it done so he told the orthodontist it didn't bother him so orthodontist said no treatment. He may be planning ahead as they don't do the surgery until they are around 18.

EarringsandLipstick · 17/03/2021 22:07

I'm staggered that anyone thinks it's OK to ask these questions of sensitive young teens!!

OP, you're making no sense. It's not 'anyone' asking this; it's the orthodontist.

PP have explained it's normal practice. You'd be mad to complain.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 17/03/2021 22:07

These are normal questions.

Your DD sounds very like my DD2. Similar questions too. 2 years on my DD2 (16) has perfectly aligned teeth. She still doesn’t shave or wear make-up. She was not upset or adversely affected by the questions.

Doggitydog · 17/03/2021 22:07

Personally, if my daughter had an overbite that caused her to be referred I would want it to be treated.
And yes, they do sound like standard questions. Why don’t you want her teeth/jaw corrected btw?

Original poster
SpringisSpinning · 17/03/2021 22:11

Meredith I'm confused by your last comment.

You said someone commented about surgey and it stuck with you, but that wasn't or was an issue for you??..

I'm not going to put up with this question at every single appointment.

I'm staggered people think it's OK?

We've been referred by a dentist, then local Orthadonrist who said it would be hospital job.

We are not Orthadonrist. We have been told there is an issue so we are follow the experts. Sounds like NHS massively outdated on this. I bet they don't ask such insensitive questions at every single appt else where

OP posts:
2bazookas · 17/03/2021 22:11

Perfectly standard to ask her those questions . She is the patient, not you.
In another five years she might be much more conscious of her overbite.

Clymene · 17/03/2021 22:11

Well if you want it done on the nhs then I'm guessing the problem has to be causing her distress. If it isn't, then maybe she doesn't need the treatment?

Braces are awful, especially if you're not wedded to the idea of having them.

Original poster
SpringisSpinning · 17/03/2021 22:12
  • so just to be clear, your orth. Asked you and the child the same looks related q on every single visit??
OP posts:
LemonMeringueThreePointOneFour · 17/03/2021 22:13

You seem incredibly invested in your daughter's innocence and lack of (entirely typical) teenage self-consciousness. She's "blissfully unaware", "very comfortable in her looks", "very happy in her skin", "wonderfully untouched", etc., etc.

Sorry, but it just struck me as rather odd. I wasn't particularly into nails, boys, clothes or anything like that at 13 and was the opposite of sexually precocious, but I hadn't been "blissfully unaware" of my appearance since about the age of seven or eight.

GoWalkabout · 17/03/2021 22:13

Surely you just answer 'we are only here to make sure her teeth don't cause her issues in the future because we were referred' and think no more about it. Standard questions to establish patient expectations.

l2b2 · 17/03/2021 22:14

Please don't complain OP because you'll really embarrass yourself.
Whether it be beginning, or mid -treatment, these are standard orthodontic questions, irrelevant whether it be private or NHS orthodontics.
Also, unless your specialist orthodontist is hospital-based, there will be no PALs.

daisypond · 17/03/2021 22:15

Orthodontist treatment on the NHS is extremely hard to come by. It is not done for cosmetic reasons but for medical or dental need. That need may be in the future - eg, your teeth will so overlap that you won’t be able to clean them properly, causing tooth decay.

NormanStangerson · 17/03/2021 22:16

I’m not sure what you’re talking about or why you’re so outraged? Orthodontists are about correcting bite but also, creating the right cosmetic profile. I mean, if you’re going to undergo treatment, why wouldn’t you consider aesthetics? You’re being really strange about it.

l2b2 · 17/03/2021 22:19

Also, you "don't have to put up with these questions" at each appointment. She's the patient not you. Anyway, it's perfectly standard for teen orthodontic patient's parents to stay in the waiting room.

Grenred · 17/03/2021 22:21

I was asked questions similar to this years ago when I got my train track braces and at various other appointments over the years while have my orthodontic treatment
Its to check the understanding of what she thinks can be achieved, what she wants from her treatment etc.

titchy · 17/03/2021 22:21

He just managing her expectations that's all Confused She could well have answered that she's devastated by the way her teeth look right now but that she knows her teeth will be so beautiful when treatment has finished that she'll be able to fulfill her dream of being a Hollywood actor.

In which case he would need to make it clear that while the treatment will improve things considerably that it won't achieve a perfect look if that's what she thinks.

She presumably understands she has a small lower jaw and needs treatment for both cosmetic reasons, but more importantly to make sure she doesn't have any physical issues or hygiene issues as an adult.

What exactly is the issue here?

Serin · 17/03/2021 22:21

Good God, I've heard it all now.
So you would rather he just "got on with the treatment" without actually bothering to inform your child or find out her perspective?
Wow.

sotiredofthislonelylife · 17/03/2021 22:22

Of course he had to ask her (not you) these questions. If she really isn’t bothered, then she would not be a good candidate for orthodontic work. It necessitates a great deal of patience and a willingness to cooperate, not to mention the justification of funding that the orthodontist has to put forward.

Serin · 17/03/2021 22:23

It is no wonder some orthofontisrs ask parents to remain in the waiting room.

PearorPasta · 17/03/2021 22:26

I had braces on the nhs as an adult and was asked this question frequently (this was 10 years ago) I required jaw surgery and my orthodontist needed to know I had realistic expectations of what could be achieved by the braces and the surgery.

They also needed to know how i felt my teeth looked during the process, as some patients want things as perfect as possible whereas some will opt for less time in braces or less "fiddling'" with the braces as long as the result is functionally right.

Original poster
SpringisSpinning · 17/03/2021 22:26

My issue is multiple

I've answered these questions already, before treatment started.

She's been asked them whilst getting it fitted.
She's been asked again on routine check of the braces.

Is she supposed to start wondering.. What is wrong my jaw... Goodness yes.. It doesn't actually match up.. Look at that girl in that photo..yes mine is different isn't it... And start comparing herself??

Why draw unnecessary attention to it!

A dentist abdLocal and

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 17/03/2021 22:27

These are totally normal questions and good ones at that, of course he should ask her, she’s 13, not a small child.

He has no way to know you’d habe such issues or that you feel so strongly she shouldn’t he asked these questions. Because it’s not the usual reaction. She thirteen her opinion is valid.

And why does she think she’s there if she doesn’t think there is anything wrong? Why does she think she’s being referred.

Original poster
SpringisSpinning · 17/03/2021 22:27

Local orth said.. She needs treatment.....

What more do we need to prove??

OP posts:
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