To think #Allmen has backfired big time in the younger generation?

[katieloves]

Since #Allmen started doing the rounds on Instagram at the weekend, DCs secondary school has become a battle of the sexes. Boys are being screamed at by the girls, called rapists, told they’re sexist if the don’t post #allmen on their Instagram. The worst I’ve heard about is a boy being told he should commit suicide by a group of girls (this is now being investigated). This isn’t just at my dcs school, there’s been reports of girls shouting abuse at boys in parks and on the streets around here.
AIBU to think we’ve gone in too hard and should have been educating our dc, not telling them that all men are abusers which is what they seem to have heard.

For some reason this thread has reminded me of when I was a student nurse. We regularly got hassle from men on the walk between the hospital and the nurses residence, which was about a mile away.

If you rang the police, they just said that unless you'd actually been assaulted there is nothing they could do. Men following you, making lewd remarks, pestering you for a kiss, even getting a bit gropey etc wasn't illegal - you had to wait to be attacked to make a complaint and otherwise it was just lads 'having fun' and we shouldn't waste police time. So that was nice.

But I'd completely forgotten the local minicab office. All the nurses knew that the minicab office half way between the hospital and the residence was the place you could go for help if you were in trouble. And that you could call them from anywhere and say you were a nurse from X hospital and they would come and help you.

Many a sex pest was given a thump or two by the lads in the cab office. One of my friends was once cornered in a phone box she had taken refuge in, pretending to make a call and hoping the guy following her would keep walking - persuading herself he wasn't really following her of course - and when he tried to push his way into the phone box and her foot was wedged against the door keeping him out, it's that cab office she called and not the police. Because none of us believed the police would help us. A minicab arrived within minutes and two more followed - the guy was dealt with down a nearby alley and they gave her a lift home free of charge.

That cab office should get some commendation - they were well ahead of their time but they had to be careful as the police had threatened them several times as it was well known what they were doing.

I'd forgotten all about them. They made me feel a bit safer when I was 18 and walking alone late at night from shift work wasn't optional, it was essential. I wonder if it's changed, or if todays student nurses are still doing the same.

@katieloves

Perhaps they are strangers and he made a comment or an insult to then firstly Sure he did Girls can’t possibly do anything wrong it’s just those evil boys. The absolute denial that these girls did anything wrong on here is awful and there’s obviously no point discussing this further.

You are the one that keeps starting threads wailing “what about the men!”

Aye ok.

@katieloves

I can’t believe this example - nothing about #AllMen, nothing about the specifics of what the girls were shouting Does it matter what they were shouting about? Why is this ok but if it was reversed the boys would be abusing the girl?

Yes - it does. You are giving this scenario as evidence that #allmen “abuse” is happening to men. but there is absolutely no evidence that this incident has anything to do with that.

I’m a bit worried about the message you are passing on to your boys.

Nothing here either and have three teenagers.
Am having the appropriate conversations with them myself #educateyourchildren

The absolute denial that these girls did anything wrong on here is awful and there’s obviously no point discussing this further.

I'm more concerned that you think it doesn't matter what the teens were shouting about before using an adult post to a neighbourhood group to try and prove a point about how apparently teen girls are targeting and harassing boys online.

I'm also concerned that any adult who saw a teenager being threatened, abused and shouted at in an aggressive way decided to do absolutely nothing, whilst apparently caring enough to have a little moan on Facebook about it.

It especially concerns me that you aren't concerned that an adult would stand by and watch a child being threatened in such a nasty and aggressive way. When you think about it, either the poster of that Facebook post was bullshitting, or they really are quite unpleasant to be a bystander to such abuse and aggression.

I don't think OP is going to be back somehow.

They often don't return when they have been called out so unanimously.

@Marshmellowx3

I don't think OP is going to be back somehow.

They often don't return when they have been called out so unanimously.

She’s probably hurried off to post on her local Facebook group with a made up story to create some “evidence” to come back here with.

@IMOGEN
Thanks for the link, relentless is the word.

@Marshmellowx3

I don't think OP is going to be back somehow.

They often don't return when they have been called out so unanimously.

Maybe they’re reading up about some of the work men are doing to take responsibility for male violence and having a frank conversation with their children about their part in that🤞

I have a dd who is fully aware of and appalled at the issues raised over the past couple of weeks. Disappointingly my 15 year old son remains blissfully unaffected and unconcerned by any of this. I am trying my absolute best to encourage him to engage more to understand the issues that women face.

LuaDipa
What's really sad is that according to the group of "what about the poor men" posters that do the rounds on here, if you daughter spoke to your son passionately about the issues, they'd be saying:
"Why is she targeting an innocent boy?"
"Why is she blaming her brother for men who murder?"
"Her brother is a nice boy so why is she telling him to solve the problem."
"The reason why nice boys such as her brother won't pay attention to the situation is being girls like your daughter keep calling all men/boys racists and murderers. No wonder he won't listen"
"Has she thought about being kind to him? Maybe he doesn't want to listen to aggressive women shouting all the time"
And so on.

You sound like you're doing your best though. It's really hard to raise awareness of systemic issues that half the population haven't faced, especially when they're still growing up.

It's really hard to raise awareness of systemic issues that half the population haven't faced, especially when they're still growing up.

This is very true.
I want to strike a balance with my own dd (14) of making her aware of the issues and how to keep herself safe, without making her terrified to walk the streets. She seems to be taking it in her stride mostly, but talks about "pretending to be on the phone" if she walks past groups of teen boys or crossing the road away from them. It makes me sad for her.

@LucieStar I have a young daughter that I was really quite worried for, I didn't even realise how much so until recent events brought it to the forefront of my mind. I myself have been sexually assaulted and it made me feel sick when I thought about the idea of anything like that happening to her.

I am now quietly hopeful (I hope not naively) that this is the start of a change.

[quote Marshmellowx3]@LucieStar I have a young daughter that I was really quite worried for, I didn't even realise how much so until recent events brought it to the forefront of my mind. I myself have been sexually assaulted and it made me feel sick when I thought about the idea of anything like that happening to her.

I am now quietly hopeful (I hope not naively) that this is the start of a change.[/quote]

Sorry to hear that

I've become a little obsessive with dd, asking her to text me as soon as she's on her school bus morning and night and calling her if she doesn't. She thinks I've lost the plot as I'm normally a quite chilled mum.

It can't just be me thinking of this, can it?

I'm a secondary school teacher. Can I advise you to take these claims of boys being screamed at with a pinch of salt? Teenagers embellish. Where I work there's been discussion but not screaming TBH my biggest concern isn't for the boys being called rapists, it's about the boys who are wilfully missing the point of it all and rather than listening to their female peers and what they have to say, are too busy feeling sorry for themselves because for once it's not girls being spoken about in derogatory terms. It's sad to see them being so self centered, and sadly they will probably grow to be men who still don't give a shit about VAWG.

As an aide #AllMen was NOT trendingZ it was #NotAllMen, actually

@Turtleturtle81

Based on your #whataboutthemens! posting history I’m going to take a wild guess that this didn’t happen.

Same.

Echoing others my teen brothers at college and said hes not heard anything on allmen.

However i have personally noticed a huge increase in misogynistic memes and statuses from men the last 2 weeks.

Oh no, one sex treats the other unfairly because of their biology? That's never happened before

I'm certain that boys or men would never be described as "loudmouthed". You can feel the misogyny dripping from that article OP it's a terrible example. And for anyone saying all this is misandry, remember that misogyny made misandry.

The thing is, the OP is furiously defending the smartly dressed male in that screenshot and saying "would it be acceptable if the sexes were reversed"
Missing the irony that if the sexes WERE reversed, she wouldn't be on here talking about how awful it was. She'd be getting her knickers in a knot about "oh but just because these boys did that it doesn't mean all boys do!"

So my answer to you OP, based on your approach to these scenarios is:

Not all girls!!!! Stop being such a sexist.

I feel sorry for them.

Soooo no actual Instagram evidence even though that’s the basis of the thread.

I’d bet the house that OP is the poster of that ‘anonymised’ Facebook post too.