To think #Allmen has backfired big time in the younger generation?

[katieloves]

Since #Allmen started doing the rounds on Instagram at the weekend, DCs secondary school has become a battle of the sexes. Boys are being screamed at by the girls, called rapists, told they’re sexist if the don’t post #allmen on their Instagram. The worst I’ve heard about is a boy being told he should commit suicide by a group of girls (this is now being investigated). This isn’t just at my dcs school, there’s been reports of girls shouting abuse at boys in parks and on the streets around here.
AIBU to think we’ve gone in too hard and should have been educating our dc, not telling them that all men are abusers which is what they seem to have heard.

Not happening here and I have a teenager. What is happening tho, is that school are talking to girls about staying safe, boys about how their behaviour can potentially be innocent but still intimidating, and the local FB groups are encouraging people to speak out about any incidents where they've been followed, or approached by some of the local weirdos.

And I hate those kind of FB posts - "I watched someone being tormented and abused and I definitely would have jumped in if they hadn't stopped...….. plus I needed to go home and tell Facebook"

I wonder if they reported this incident to the school with descriptions of the smartly dressed boy and the loud mouthed/quiet girls, outlining the details of the attack and the location so the school can investigate. I doubt it somehow.

Agree, especially as the adult was able to identify both schools, was close enough to discern that the young man was smartly dressed (aka in school uniform) and found the time to write up the incident on social media.

He was “very smartly dressed “ . That makes a difference.

And as the person didn’t see the whole incident, she has no idea what happened at the start. Perhaps the young people know each other ? ( surely not, I can’t imagine as very smartly dressed young man associating with loud mouthed girls ).

Maybe they were having an argument about a maths test of football results ( when of course the girls should have deferred to the lads superior knowledge ) .

And yes, tut tut at girls having opinions. Worse still loud opinions in public.

Perhaps they are strangers and he made a comment or an insult to then first ?

None of us know. But it obviously wasn’t bad as the Op only thought about intervening but didn’t.

I’m not sure what this has to do with the OP though. There’s no indication that the boy was afraid of being raped or murdered or flashed at.

I can only assume the OP of the message ( I assume it’s the Op here ) has NEVER been a girl or young woman. Otherwise they would know that for girls and young women alone in the park, sexual harassment happens on almost a daily basis.

And by young women , I mean girls from about the age of 12. Almost all of us start getting sexual comments from men around that age.

OP of course it is unacceptable, and of course girls shouldn’t be picking on some poor random lad and verbally abusing him. And yes they are to blame.

But you know who else is to blame in all of this? The men who go round catcalling, verbally abusing women, calling out to schoolgirls to suck their dicks, the rapists and murderers who make an everyday activity such as walking home a fearful thing for women and girls.

Because if girls do off the rails and start to become verbally abusive and nasty themselves, it is those men who have created that pathology in them and caused the rebellion. It’s them who are to blame for that poor lad’s discomfort.

To be honest I’m surprised girls haven’t flipped to angry mode earlier!

@Lessthanaballpark

OP of course it is unacceptable, and of course girls shouldn’t be picking on some poor random lad and verbally abusing him. And yes they are to blame.

But you know who else is to blame in all of this? The men who go round catcalling, verbally abusing women, calling out to schoolgirls to suck their dicks, the rapists and murderers who make an everyday activity such as walking home a fearful thing for women and girls.

Because if girls do off the rails and start to become verbally abusive and nasty themselves, it is those men who have created that pathology in them and caused the rebellion. It’s them who are to blame for that poor lad’s discomfort.

To be honest I’m surprised girls haven’t flipped to angry mode earlier!

So if a boy is abused by his father as a child, and then goes on to become a child abuser when he is older, then he's the innocent victim and shouldn't be punished?

@katieloves

This is one of the comments on my local neighbourhood group. I don’t have my dcs Instagram on my phone so can’t screenshot them.

Ask them to do it and send you a message then, it’s 2021!

I can’t believe this example - nothing about #AllMen, nothing about the specifics of what the girls were shouting, by a third-party ADULT - is the best example of this massive widespread abuse you’re so keen to talk about.

Perhaps they are strangers and he made a comment or an insult to then firstly
Sure he did Girls can’t possibly do anything wrong it’s just those evil boys.
The absolute denial that these girls did anything wrong on here is awful and there’s obviously no point discussing this further.

@Dutch1e Most underrated comment on this whole thread.

Not sure what OPs agenda is here but I doubt they've come on here with good intentions.

So if a boy is abused by his father as a child, and then goes on to become a child abuser when he is older, then he's the innocent victim and shouldn't be punished?

Where did I say that the girls in question were innocent victims? Or that they shouldn’t be punished?

I’m making a comment about the cycles of behaviour in society at large. In your example it’s well known that boys abused by their fathers (but not girls - why?) are more likely to go on to become abusers themselves. So it makes sense to go to the root of the problem: the abusive fathers, to stop this cycle from repeating.

There are individual actions and there are issues in society that underpin it.

I can’t believe this example - nothing about #AllMen, nothing about the specifics of what the girls were shouting
Does it matter what they were shouting about? Why is this ok but if it was reversed the boys would be abusing the girl?

Social media at its absolute worse!

@katieloves

I can’t believe this example - nothing about #AllMen, nothing about the specifics of what the girls were shouting Does it matter what they were shouting about? Why is this ok but if it was reversed the boys would be abusing the girl?

It does when you’ve started the thread about boys getting abused specifically about #AllMen and yet can’t provide any evidence at all that’s it’s happening.

I have two teen boys and not heard a peep about it. I am also on Instagram and haven't seen it.

@katieloves I think posters are just pointing out that from the example you've put up there is no background to it whatsoever. You cannot use it to back up the overall point your making, which is that the current 'trend' (hate to use that word but there we are) that is doing the rounds amongst teenagers (apparently, haven't seen it myself) is causing girls to start on innocent boys.

How does your example further your original point? Yes, of course there is a chance that these loud mouthed bullying girls started on this poor well dressed lad for no reason, there is even a chance it was off the back of recent terrible events but there is nothing whatsoever in that screenshot to suggest it is.

so I ask again. how does it relate directly to your original point?

Not happening here either. Maybe it depends what kind of stuff teens follow on Instagram? One of mine follows gaming content and hasn't even seen any content about the Oprah-Sussex interview. The other follows more international content so is aware of NAMALT, ACAB etc Are people from other countries even discussing Sarah Everand? It was the one year anniversary of Breonna Taylor's murder recently and I think that it's a more known case.

@katieloves

I can’t believe this example - nothing about #AllMen, nothing about the specifics of what the girls were shouting Does it matter what they were shouting about? Why is this ok but if it was reversed the boys would be abusing the girl?

And instead of wasting your time pretending this is happening, why not read that interview with Luke Hart I posted above? It’ll really open your eyes.

Plus I can’t help but wonder at your bias. I specifically said in my post that it was unacceptable and those girls were to blame, so how do you go from that to me thinking they are “innocent victims”?

Confirmation bias much?

Does it matter what they were shouting about? Why is this ok but if it was reversed the boys would be abusing the girl?

Well it does if you've started a thread about female aggression / violence because of allmen. When you have absolutely no idea what was behind all of that.

@katieloves

I can’t believe this example - nothing about #AllMen, nothing about the specifics of what the girls were shouting Does it matter what they were shouting about? Why is this ok but if it was reversed the boys would be abusing the girl?

The reason #AllMen is relevant, is because you connected the two. You used this screenshot in support of your claim that ‘AllMen has backfired big time in the younger generation’. Is what these girls did wrong? Yes. Does it anyway suggest a link to the AllMen tag? No.

Why is this ok but if it was reversed the boys would be abusing the girl?

Oh my god. Sometimes I feel that people have gone to the Piers Morgan school of logic.

It’s not that it’s ok or not ok, it’s that you are using this as an example of a vitriolic backlash inspired by the #allmen trend on Instagram!

You have made a specific argument but have failed to provide evidence. That is basic GCSE English.

[quote katieloves]@Butchyrestingface do you really think #allmen would have no repercussions at all amongst youngsters? I’m not making this up.[/quote]
What I think is that you are looking for a men's rights forum and how somehow ended up here.

I can well see how MUMSnet could be misread as MANSnet but this ain't it.

I think your best bet would be to make a mental note not to start a thread generalising about something your DC tell you is happening, but for which none of you can provide any evidence.

do you really think #allmen would have no repercussions at all amongst youngsters? I’m not making this up.

Let me correct that for you:

do you really think the constant violence and harassment of women and girls would have no repercussions at all amongst youngsters? I’m not making this up.

@katieloves. While you have been worrying about some youngsters in a park who may or may not have been arguing about football, heres some of the women who have been killed by men in the Uk.

Not in the last 10 years. This month. March 2021.

No they may not have been very smartly dressed. And they were only women, so not important to you . But they still count, they matter. They were very much loved by their friends and family.

2 March 2020: Samantha Heap, 45, was found dead in a house in Congleton, Cheshire. David Mottram, 47, has been charged with her murder.

3rd March 2021: Sarah Everard, 33, went missing when walking home in SoUth London. Her body was found a week later inside a builders bag in woodland, in Ashford, Kent. Wayne Cuzens, 48, a serving police officer, has been charged with her murder.

4 March 2021: Geetika Goyal, 29, was found stabbed and dying in a street in Leicestershire. Kashish Aggarwal, 29, has been charged with her murder.

4 March 2021: Imogen Bohajczuk, 29, was found dead in a house in Oldham by police responding to a call of concern about her welfare. Daniel Smith, 41, has been charged with her murder.

5 March 2021: Wenjing Xu, 16, was stabbed to death in Wales. A 31-year-old man known to her has been arrested on suspicion of murder.

Waiting for further information regarding the deaths of

Unnamed woman, Aberdeen,

unnamed woman, Doncaster

unnamed woman, Wolverhampton

From Counting Dead Women kareningalasmith.com/2021/02/08/2021/

Of course there will have been more in the last few days that are not updated. Because the murder of women by men is relentless.

No, the needs of men and boys should not be given the spotlight when we are discussing violence to women and girls.