Changed my name for this as family are on here and even if they guess this is me, I don't want to rest of my posts outed :)
DS is 14 months old. He has never liked the swings in the park, he's not a fan of slides or anything either, he prefers exploring and wandering about.
We've tried him on the swings often to see if it was a phase, but he really gets upset and almost panicky, and wriggles/writhes until we set him down again. We've left him be as we don't want to make a big thing of it.
MIL knows this. She usually looks after DS two mornings a week so I can work. My work has dried up due to Covid so we don't need her to do this workwise anymore, but she asked if she still could as she loves seeing DS, so of course we said yes. (she's in our bubble, as he was under 1 on the 2nd december)
Last week a friend called me and tentatively mentioned she'd seen MIL at the park and MIL was 'forcing' DS on the swing and slide. When I asked what she meant she said she repeatedly kept trying to sit him in the swing even though he was really fighting her and crying, and kept sitting him on the slide (holding on to him) and (gently) pushing him down it, again while he tried to get off. Friend said she told MIL he doesn't like it and MIL said 'he has to get used to it, all children like the park!'. Friend said MIL wasn't being rough with him or anything like that, but kept persisting when he obviously didn't want to and was trying to get off, cling to her so he wouldn't be put on the play stuff, so she wasn't hurting him physically to be clear.
I was really upset by this, it's obviously not the first time and we've tried to not make it a big thing as I don't want him to be scared of the park full stop and I'm pretty sure when he's a bit older he will be more interested in them.
I spoke to MIL about it and she said she does 'try' him on the equipment every time because it's not normal for him not to enjoy anything at the park, and that all the other grandkids love it. FWIW he does like the park but he likes to run about and walk in the castle or touch the random wooden climbing logs/interact with other kids.
I explained to her we had told her not to do that and it doesn't mean he's not normal and she started saying how his behaviour is 'strange' and there's something off about him and we need to force him into situations or he will always run away from things he's scared of. And that there's no reason for him to be scared of park equipment.
She just wouldn't accept we don't want her to keep trying or see that she was upsetting DS. I trust my friend, she was really embarrassed about calling up to tell me, and MIL admitted he gets upset sometimes but gets over it quickly.
Anyway, I'm livid about the whole thing and said he won't be going to her for a while. If she doesn't listen to that, what else won't she listen to? I hate the idea of DS being upset and repeatedly put in situations he doesn't like or upset him and it's so unnecessary - so what if he doesn't like the play park equipment?! It doesn't matter!
DH thinks I'm massively overeacting and has said he will have a word with her and they just won't go to the park anymore, but I want DS to have a break from going to her. He's said he'll support my decision btw, but he does think I'm overreacting.
AIBU to react like this?