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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that all men watch porn even when in a sexually gratifying relationship ?

772 replies

pedestalpony · 16/03/2021 20:39

Possibly done to death but do they or at least the majority and if so are you ok with it ?
No real back story but have reason to believe that my bf does now and again ... mainly through presumption of women he follows on Facebook ... first six pictures etc.
I know he also games with many men and women throughout the world through that platform so he has many' friends' from that..
He doesn't like or comment on the women's posts but they show up now and again on the six profile pics of his friends on Facebook .
Am I being a prude/ presumptuous / overthinking .

OP posts:
Phoenixdays · 17/03/2021 08:10

@Gerla

What about when he’s in the bathroom? None of us take phones into the bathroom- yuck!
I meant taking a shower/bath
HamFisted · 17/03/2021 08:15

I meant taking a shower/bath

Wouldn't it get wet? Particularly in the shower.

theMoJareajoke · 17/03/2021 08:16

No DH doesn't I know this with absolute certainty

Phoenixdays · 17/03/2021 08:39

@HamFisted

I meant taking a shower/bath

Wouldn't it get wet? Particularly in the shower.

I always look at my phone in the bath. Going for shower - watch it before you get in. Either way the poster who said the guy had zero time. No one has zero time/space from other person. There’s always an opportunity
theMoJareajoke · 17/03/2021 08:51

These threads go the same way every time.
My dh doesn't

Yeah he does.

Right from the start of our relationship we talked about porn. Watched a bit together but it isn't his thing. Sexy undies etc don't do it for him either. He can't be bothered with porn and isn't that great at IT to hide the evidence. If I asked right now he'd say, why would I? Genuinely he'd rather watch sport.
No if you'd asked about wanking then I'd say yes 99.9% of males wank.

HamFisted · 17/03/2021 08:53

No if you'd asked about wanking then I'd say yes 99.9% of males wank.

I do think there's a tendency on here to conflate the two. As if wanking without porn is impossible.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 17/03/2021 08:57

No if you'd asked about wanking then I'd say yes 99.9% of males wank

Yep and for reasons I won’t go into one of the most uncomfortable questions ive had to ask my sons 😱

And id also be happy to say that dh has seen porn and may well have been shown porn, but he doesn’t watch it or seek it out himself

I saw porn as a child but again I don’t watch it or seek it out

So I suppose it depends on what other posters mean, when these threads come up i always assume it means that they watch porn for themselves....not necessarily that it was shown to them in passing

A female work colleague sent me a picture of a penis....i was furious

skirk64 · 17/03/2021 08:57

Yes, almost all men look at porn. It might not necessarily be watching videos on YouPorn or XHamster or whatever, but definitely they all look at sexualised images. The women who believe their partner doesn't are deluded in at least 99% of cases.

Phoenixdays · 17/03/2021 08:57

@HamFisted

No if you'd asked about wanking then I'd say yes 99.9% of males wank.

I do think there's a tendency on here to conflate the two. As if wanking without porn is impossible.

I think that’s because guys are heavily visual ( hence erotic books being aimed more at women) and so expectation is they need to be looking at something. I can think of a couple of men who I’d be surprised watched porn but I really do think most do, just from life experience and then there’s obviously the various stats showing that too.
toconclude · 17/03/2021 08:58

@Givemeabreak88

Every man I’ve dated has watched porn

Laughing at all the pps that say their partner doesn’t 😏

What a mean spirited comment. Just because your dates have been shite doesn't entitle you to this kind of sneering attitude.
Helmetbymidnight · 17/03/2021 09:04

Why do these threads always attract people with such poor critical reasoning and little imagination?

They don't get there is a difference between 'have watched porn' and 'regularly watch porn'.

They don't get there is a difference between 'having a wank' and watching porn'.

And they really don't get there is a difference between 25 year old men who grow up saturated in porn and most men over 50, who honestly are not into it.

Helmetbymidnight · 17/03/2021 09:05

And they don't get that there are no accurate stats on this.

Phoenixdays · 17/03/2021 09:09

relationshipsinamerica.com/relationships-and-sex/how-much-pornography-are-americans-consuming

There’s a part in here about 60 year old men viewing

DedlyMedally · 17/03/2021 09:21

No man is lying there using his imagination when he has his phone sitting next to him.

I'd disagree with that. The benefit of imagination is that you can create your own scenario involving the cute barista who served you, that woman you run into in the gym or your secretary (or whatever the modern equivalent is).
Such men are probably in the minority though and my disappear as things like OnlyFans become more ubiquitous.

I think few men with a healthy sex drive will be sexually gratified solely by their long-term partner, but there are ways around that without porn. Porn is just easy.

purpleboy · 17/03/2021 09:23

I can say with complete confidence that DH doesn't watch porn, he did occasionally in his younger years, mainly round friends houses, but he never particularly liked it, he has never been in a strip club, I know this for a fact as his friends used to take the piss out of him always going home early, same when they went to Amsterdam (all before he met me so no reason to lie) in my youth I never had an issue with porn, as I've got older I don't like it as so many women are exploited. DH is very vocal about his dislike of it, made more aware once we had daughters, he now calls his friends out whenever they start talking in derogatory ways about women, and has seriously limited his social interactions with them because of it.
So whilst you can never be 100% I don't believe for one second that he does.

BlackBucketOfCheese · 17/03/2021 09:32

Laughing at all the pps that say their partner doesn’t

Why?

My DH used to, then he started reading lots of feminist books and delving deeper into the data and personal stories about the porn industry and would rather put a hot poker in his eye.

So much porn involves human trafficking or male violence against women and girls. How odd that you would laugh at men who don’t want to wank to that.

Emeraldshamrock · 17/03/2021 09:32

There’s a part in here about 60 year old men viewing These days with easy access I'm not surprised, Dad is 70's I saw it on his laptop. I don't have the type of relationship with him to discuss the ethical issues around porn.
My Dbro runs a building company, he said there is a constant stream of porn clips shared every day on site.

mediumduboir · 17/03/2021 09:33

Most of my male friends still watch porn and I admit I watch it occasionally and so does my partner. Not a taboo subject for me and my friends to talk about.

TheGumption · 17/03/2021 09:35

Ugh. I would have confidently said DH doesn't watch it but I told him about this thread and asked him and he sheepishly admitted it! I'm shocked!
Don't know whether to be grossed out by him now or happy he is honest.

Drunkenmonkey · 17/03/2021 09:38

Most posters that claim their partners don't watch it say it is because together they have discussed it and think it is unethical/disgusting etc. What man, in the face of his wife saying it is unethical, is going to say 'yeah you're right it is unethical but I still love to wank over it'
They're not going to say that are they? You've automatically attached a sense of shame to the act itself, so if they do like watching it, they will hide it even more.

Even men who think their partners are ok with it don't necessarily want to discuss it so just say they don't watch it. Most people (unless in a very open sexual relationship where it is watched together and part of their sex life) don't want to explain their porn habits to their partner, it is very personal and can invite questions they don't want to answer.

TheGoogleMum · 17/03/2021 09:41

DH doesn't really. I know he has in the past but he prefers the real thing!

Phoenixdays · 17/03/2021 09:43

@Drunkenmonkey

Most posters that claim their partners don't watch it say it is because together they have discussed it and think it is unethical/disgusting etc. What man, in the face of his wife saying it is unethical, is going to say 'yeah you're right it is unethical but I still love to wank over it' They're not going to say that are they? You've automatically attached a sense of shame to the act itself, so if they do like watching it, they will hide it even more.

Even men who think their partners are ok with it don't necessarily want to discuss it so just say they don't watch it. Most people (unless in a very open sexual relationship where it is watched together and part of their sex life) don't want to explain their porn habits to their partner, it is very personal and can invite questions they don't want to answer.

Agree totally
rainbowdaz · 17/03/2021 09:46

Absolutely @Drunkenmonkey

Pps are armament that their partner doesn't, but there's no way to know unless you're breaking down their neck all day. Of course they'll deny it if they think their wife will leave them for watching.

CaptainTheeHook · 17/03/2021 09:47

When I'm working a late shift I masturbate before sleep.

I'm not interested in 'performing' I'm tired and want a quick release.

I don't think my wife would appreciate being dragged out of her slumber to 'serve my man needs'

I watch porn.

imalmostthere · 17/03/2021 09:52

@Esspee

I suggest you change your social circle OP. Most men may have seen a bit of porn at some stage in their lives but only scum make a habit of watching it themselves.
Wow - it's hilarious you seem to think no one in your social circle watches porn. Unless your circle is a convent, you have no idea what they do in private, and have no right to know, or comment for that matter. Have a word with yourself.
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