To think that all men watch porn even when in a sexually gratifying relationship ?

[pedestalpony]

Possibly done to death but do they or at least the majority and if so are you ok with it ?
No real back story but have reason to believe that my bf does now and again ... mainly through presumption of women he follows on Facebook ... first six pictures etc.
I know he also games with many men and women throughout the world through that platform so he has many' friends' from that..
He doesn't like or comment on the women's posts but they show up now and again on the six profile pics of his friends on Facebook .
Am I being a prude/ presumptuous / overthinking .

And before anyone asks, I would not want my dd (or ds for that matter) to be a porn actor. There are a lot of professions I'd hate them to do including all of the exploitative minimum wage jobs.

I'd encourage them to do something that is related to their long term career goals or is fun and related to an interest or hobby regardless of the pay.

Most posters that claim their partners don't watch it say it is because together they have discussed it and think it is unethical/disgusting etc. What man, in the face of his wife saying it is unethical, is going to say 'yeah you're right it is unethical but I still love to wank over it'

Maybe, just maybe, it's not so black and white as the situation you describe. Maybe there are other factors involved, such as people knowing their partners and their general ethical stance over w whole array of issues. Don't assume people have such basic relationships that they don't know each other any better than the woman saying it's unethical and the man agreeing. My DH had a lot of high value principles and strong beliefs regarding the sexual exploitation of both men and women. I use my knowledge of him as a person overall as a basis here.

think that’s because guys are heavily visual ( hence erotic books being aimed more at women) and so expectation is they need to be looking at something. I can think of a couple of men who I’d be surprised watched porn but I really do think most do, just from life experience and then there’s obviously the various stats showing that too.

I always wonder about the stats. People often assume that the stats for women must be less than the actuality, that women will lie and say they don't watch it because to admit to it would be to admit not complying to societal norms. Why does np one ever presume that the same holds true for men? That men perhaps overstate their usage in studies and stuff because it's expected, it's the norm, if the say no they must be either lying or weird. Toxic masculinity cuts both ways.

I reckon that in many WhatsApp groups where lads are sharing porn, there's at least on chap going along with it so as not to stand out.

Urgh- how many typos can I fit into one comment?!

I think we'd only know by asking our DP/DH and getting an honest answer. Lots of people won't ask. In the absence of that I'd imagine, based on probabilities, that your male DP/DH

• does wank (certainly)
• does wank to porn (probably to almost certainly)

I'd imagine for women it is different

• does wank (certainly)
• does wank to porn (probably not)

There must be published surveys on this stuff?

Its lack of interest and access in my husband’s case rather than any ethical reasons, ive certainly not told him if i have an issue with it

Many do but not all. Probably most will have at some point in their lives. I think only a minority watch it everyday or every week.

Mine doesn’t. It was made very clear from the beginning that it was off limits.

@pancake4life, that made me chuckle. Also ones who cannot see.

Clearly all men do not watch porn.
Some do, some don't.

I have no issue with it as I don't expect other people to live by my values, we each set our own parameters of what's OK and what isn't.

It's really weird that you make the leap from Facebook friends to porn though.

I mean I duno if I asked he would probably say no. We watched it together once or twice years ago and he didn’t seem that fussed about it it was more my idea. If he does watch it he must be watching it at work as he never closes let alone locks the bathroom door and follows me to bed when I go up.

Cant say I’ve watched porn since then either really.

I do find it odd to say all men must and those who say they don’t are lying. Just like the all men at work say they do. Do they though or do they just want to fit in with the lads at work, I bet if they said they didn’t at work the others wouldn’t just leave it alone. Also bit off to be talking about porn at work I’d say.

My partner doesn't and he knows I would leave him straight away if he did. He used to occasionally before we got together but it has completely stopped now as he doesn't agree with it as much as I don't.

For those saying 'ALL men watch porn and if they say their not, they're lying to you', I can't help but feel you have a very immature and narrow mind

@Esspee

I suggest you change your social circle OP. Most men may have seen a bit of porn at some stage in their lives but only scum make a habit of watching it themselves.

Yep, this.

I can assure everyone who is so confident their DH BF doesn’t that they most certainly will be. The very few who won’t watch porn probably have vivid enough imaginations that when they’re masturbating they can picture their own fantasies.

Most do I suspect but not all, you can't generalise. Dp doesn't like it, but different generation

Yes id say majority do, they may say they dont , but they do. Women watch it too, in fact years ago dh used to watch porn together.

I can assure everyone who is so confident their DH BF doesn’t that they most certainly will be.

No you bloody can't

I think 99% do, whats wrong with it? Doesnt bother me and can spice up things if you enjoy it together ?

@HamFisted agree that there’s definitely peer pressure in terms of mates hence why some men probably end up in strip joints on stag dos, when they might not go normally.
I don’t know how these studies are conducted but would assume it’s online and so there’s no peer pressure or face to face pressure to answer dishonestly.

@activitythree I agree! How can you assure us that they don't? You don't know anyone's circumstances, boundaries, views but most importantly you have no idea who we are or our dpridiculous

@Drunkenmonkey

So what if the DH does research off his own back, unprompted by his partner?
I was going through my “cool girl”, bullshit lib fem stage years ago, when my husband came across a documentary about the human trafficking of women for the porn industry. He then spent years reading about it and dealing with a lot of guilt - even going to therapy.

Like many feminists, I grew up and found I was no longer a lib fem and I’m also thoroughly disgusted by porn or anyone who consumes it. But my repulsion wasn’t there when my husband made his decision to remove pornography from his life.

I do also feel very sad that many people are in relationships where, when faced with giving an answer to a challenging question, the assumption is that one must lie.

@Flowers24

I think 99% do, whats wrong with it? Doesnt bother me and can spice up things if you enjoy it together ?

What's wrong with it?

I'm honestly struggling here, you don't just have the internet, to do research and increase knowledge, but the posts on this thread explaining what is wrong with it.

@SummerOne

"My partner doesn't and he knows I would leave him straight away if he did"

if you've told him that he's obviously going to say he doesn't isn't he ?

guys also watch gay men having sex , solo maturbation and cartoon porn if they have ethical issues around women in the porn industry. there seems to be a limited view on here about what they would need to be watching.

@Esspee

I suggest you change your social circle OP. Most men may have seen a bit of porn at some stage in their lives but only scum make a habit of watching it themselves.

Absolute rubbish.

My husband, my brothers, my bill's, my colleagues etc are not scum.

They are humans. Humans have enjoyed watching other humans have sex for thousands of years.

Get over yourself.

I don’t think anyone can definitely know what their partner does. You can see plenty of surprised posters on mn when they discover their amazing, moral dh is having an affair etc. With depressing regularity this is often the opening line of an op post. All I try and do is ensure dh knows my views on it and that I have an expectation he doesn’t watch it. He says he doesn’t but I can’t know for certain unless I become a mind reader !