To think that all men watch porn even when in a sexually gratifying relationship ?

[pedestalpony]

Possibly done to death but do they or at least the majority and if so are you ok with it ?
No real back story but have reason to believe that my bf does now and again ... mainly through presumption of women he follows on Facebook ... first six pictures etc.
I know he also games with many men and women throughout the world through that platform so he has many' friends' from that..
He doesn't like or comment on the women's posts but they show up now and again on the six profile pics of his friends on Facebook .
Am I being a prude/ presumptuous / overthinking .

Mine definitely doesn’t. Since covid we spend 99% of our day together and the only times we’re apart are when we’re on the loo or in the shower. He takes a normal amount of time to do those so guessing he’s not doing it then.

@OhWhyNot

U2HasTheEdge maybe I should have used the word impress I think that fits better

That’s you I don’t believe most men are thinking that way when they first meet a women who they are really attracted to I think they are too consumed by the idea of having sex with her

I had sex with my now husband before we spoke about porn i'm sure. He didnt need to lie to have to sex with me.

I don't particularly have a high opinion of men, but bloody hell, I expect a bit better from them than this.

And to continue the lie for years on end, because they were so desperate to get their leg over at the start?

I don’t think it’s cynical

I think men are different to women especially when it comes to matters of sex I just accept that

But I’m not judging a man who watches porn I think watching porn is perfectly normal behaviour there is a long history in all cultures of erotica and it’s moves with the times

I think 24 access to porn isn’t healthy and the porn industry (mostly) is terribly abusive towards women and I worry about the impact on porn in our society there is no doubt it impacts negatively

But do I think it’s unnatural to look at porn (many sites are homemade videos) no I don’t and people separate the industry from what they are viewing

Pretty much like many of the products we buy/where we holiday/ we give it little thought to the impact on others

Are we just discussing you relationship U2

No I don’t think we are. That’s fine you would feel so hurt I am not saying that you shouldn’t

Another interesting point in the thread is the amount of women who know their partners don't watch porn because they don't have a chance. They spend every waking minute together. In a normal relationship where no partner has a disability requiring constant care, that must be absolutely suffocating.

@activitythree

Another interesting point in the thread is the amount of women who know their partners don't watch porn because they don't have a chance. They spend every waking minute together. In a normal relationship where no partner has a disability requiring constant care, that must be absolutely suffocating.

I’m not sure it’s every waking moment together. That would be pretty claustrophobia inducing.

It’s about trust and knowing your spouse.
It’s about free access to all their IT, if you so desire.
It’s about understanding their choices and values.
It’s about firewalls and workplace policies.
It’s about what they are doing when you are apart.
It’s about being in a relationship where the man isn’t entirely controlled by his penis and is capable of allowing his brain to dominate his actions.
It’s about understanding how he sees women.

I was married to a man who didn't watch porn, he was an arse in lots of other ways though :)

@LemonRoses

No I was specifically talking about the women who said they spend every minute together and how awful that must be for the relationship.

I can't imagine spending 99% time with my husband. Don't you ever watch tv downstairs while he's upstairs watching Netflix?!

@activitythree

Another interesting point in the thread is the amount of women who know their partners don't watch porn because they don't have a chance. They spend every waking minute together. In a normal relationship where no partner has a disability requiring constant care, that must be absolutely suffocating.

To be fair, lockdown must have a significant effect on that. DH and I have both been wfh for a year now, we have a toddler so weekends are spent together, with her. Our evenings are generally spent together even if not doing exactly the same thing, we’re in the same room, plus we go to bed at around the same time (not through any need to always be together, that’s just the time we both go to bed). Pre-lockdown there would have been evenings where one of us was out, weekends where one of us might take DD to meet up with family, the occasional overnight work trip, one of us out shopping etc etc. So we do now spend a lot more time together. If I wanted to watch porn I’m not sure when I’d find a time I definitely wouldn’t be disturbed.

www.traffickinghubpetition.com

@ChristinaYang10

Lockdown?

People are saying their partners are never out of their sight, except the bathroom and some have even commented on the normality of time spent in the bathroom that they couldn't possible watch porn. That's nothing to do with lockdown. That plain crazy. Almost psycho behaviour. There is being in the house together and there is being in sight of each other and a timer set when you take a shit.

Just to clarify, its those 'relationships' I'm talking about.

www.traffickinghubpetition.com

notbuyingit.org.uk/take-action-prostitution-2/

Would you be happy for your husband/ partner to follow porn actor on social media ?

@OhWhyNot

Are we just discussing you relationship U2

No I don’t think we are. That’s fine you would feel so hurt I am not saying that you shouldn’t

No, I didn't think we were just discussing my relationship, but I am discussing my experiences, which is what most people here are doing. I know I can be hurt if my husband turns out to be a liar. I wasn't looking for permission.

Another interesting point in the thread is the amount of women who know their partners don't watch porn because they don't have a chance. They spend every waking minute together. In a normal relationship where no partner has a disability requiring constant care, that must be absolutely suffocating.

Yeah, even in lockdown when I was WFH full time, I still didn't spend every second with my husband in the same room. I certainly don't know what a normal amount of time for him to spend in the toilet is.
I believe my husband, but my trust doesn't come from the fact that my husband is never out of my sight.

There are way too many 'husbands' in my post above!

I don't and have never watched it.

@emmyc2924

www.traffickinghubpetition.com

Thanks for this I just signed and sent it to a few people

They aren't going to shut it down are they? There will always be ways even if you have to pay for it.

@RevolvingPivot

They aren't going to shut it down are they? There will always be ways even if you have to pay for it.

There can be penalties for them not policing it like there are for other companies without strict criteria for identifying money laundering etc

Dh doesnt. He finds it degrading towards women and just doesnt go there. I find it a bit unsavory tbh but if he did watch it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but he doesn't. .

I shared that link with dp about phub. He used to watch porn (before and during our relationship) and I used to once in a blue moon but since finding out about the exploitation side we both don’t. He’s sent the link to his mates. I’ve seen one doesn’t watch porn already from the responses (came up as we were both looking at something on his phone) so shows not all men do watch, again probably minority but sure in a mans whatsapp group they won’t bother lying about it as some said they do in response and one said never been interested.

I think there is a generational thing involved here. For people who did not grow up with the internet, I suspect porn is not such an acceptable way of life. Not all men are stuck to their phones all day long, even taking it to the toilet with them. Who takes their phones into the toilet? I certainly don't unless I am out for a walk, and my husband never does. It's a bit of a sad world where men go into the toilet to stare at their phones and wank. Is this really the world we live in?

Another pp found a link much earlier ( can’t find) which should not much of a drop in use even for over 60s which I felt surprised at!
My grandparents are over 80 & have iPads and useless at technology generally and can’t master texting etc but whizz around the internet on it. Hopefully they aren’t watching any though!