To think that all men watch porn even when in a sexually gratifying relationship ?

[pedestalpony]

Possibly done to death but do they or at least the majority and if so are you ok with it ?
No real back story but have reason to believe that my bf does now and again ... mainly through presumption of women he follows on Facebook ... first six pictures etc.
I know he also games with many men and women throughout the world through that platform so he has many' friends' from that..
He doesn't like or comment on the women's posts but they show up now and again on the six profile pics of his friends on Facebook .
Am I being a prude/ presumptuous / overthinking .

@onlythewildones

DH definitely doesn’t. He used to, a lot, until I explained to him why I found it morally reprehensible. Since then he’s stopped completely.

🤔 how do you know he has stopped though?

Honestly I'm not being a dick, just curious how you would know ?

@whiteshark how do you know your partner isn't secretly buying expensive watches on ebay and storing them in their desk at work?

My husband doesn't- tried it when younger and he didn't like it and it felt wrong.

I know that he isn't the type of person to lie about things to please me or to 'keep me quiet'. He has more self- respect than to lie out of the fear I would leave him.

Throughout our marriage he has showed me that he is honest and he has shown me his values. I have no reason not to believe him. I trust him not to lie to me to keep my happy, and his actions have proved time and time again that my trust in him is justified.

If you need to try and convince yourself that all men do and women who say their partners don't are deluded, then I would question why you need to believe that so strongly.

I think probably a lot of men have at some point watched it. But not necessarily currently. I’m pretty sure DH doesn’t as I know passwords etc and little privacy in our house as it’s quite small and doors open etc. I’m incompatible with someone who does watch it, just as most people are incompatible with camming, open relationship etc.

[quote BeagleEagle]@23PissOffAvenueWF If you see the post from the lovely whiteshark just after yours, that's what I'm arguing against, rather than that some men MIGHT lie which yeah, is probably true. But if that's the case then they need to address the fact that they're breaching their wives' trust.[/quote]
Yes @23PissOffAvenueWF. The Whiteshark comment is a perfect example of what @BeagleEagle and I are getting so cross about.

This smug assumption throughout the thread that someone who believes their husband or partner is an idiot, naive etc.

And all the many people who have said that the men are definitely, always lying. Even in the examples I gave above where the men had bloody good reasons not to and yet people are STILL told they are lying. It's exhausting and depressing in the extreme.

Of course some men lie. Just like some men cheat, gamble, hide money etc etc. But this whole "all men watch porn, if they say they don't, they're lying" is unhelpful, offensive and forces women to accept things they aren't happy to.

It is absolutely not the case that the binary choice is between accept porn use or be lied to. There are plenty of examples here to prove that.

@23PissOffAvenueWF @OnceUponAThread

Yep this ^. The risk of your partner lying to you is always present, I would hope he wouldn't but I won't assume he will by default. If it turns out he has, we'll have to address it but it wouldn't be my fault for being 'naive'. It's the same with lying about cheating, money, family, gambling, drinking, smoking etc etc.

The stats are actually a lot higher than that and it depends on age. There was a study done on younger men (under 25 I believe) and it was 98% that had used in the last 6 months

The problem with studies that are quoted like this is that they mean nothing without the full facts. 98% of how many? Obviously 98% out of all under 25s would be high (and clearly that's not the case) but 98% of 1000 for instance would be much less concerning.

My DH doesn't. He sees it as derogatory/exploitative towards women.

My curiosity is this: how many women would prefer it if their partners didn't watch pornography given the choice, but accept it anyway? Is this 'accept porn use or be lied to' myth a way of trying to accept something that causes discomfort? I know for example many women say the same about their partners going to strip clubs, getting lap dances, camming.... is there a gap between what you accept and what you would prefer if you didn't feel socially pressured by the idea of what's normal?

How old are you OP?? I think that will massively inform the answer to be honest.
The younger you are, the more I’d be inclined to say yes, the vast majority of men and women do even if they’re satisfied with their relationship

@BeagleEagle

My curiosity is this: how many women would prefer it if their partners didn't watch pornography given the choice, but accept it anyway? Is this 'accept porn use or be lied to' myth a way of trying to accept something that causes discomfort? I know for example many women say the same about their partners going to strip clubs, getting lap dances, camming.... is there a gap between what you accept and what you would prefer if you didn't feel socially pressured by the idea of what's normal?

This is precisely the question.

When presented with a false dichotomy of accept porn or be lied to - how many women pretend to be ok with their partner watching porn because they want to avoid deceit?

And how many people avoid asking the question at all or talking about the horrific levels of abuse, trafficking etc in mainstream porn because they don't want to be forced into this shit binary choice (that doesn't even exist)?

Also - how many young boys and men are pressured into watching something that scares them or alarms them or that's not comfortable to them because it is presented as being a "normal" part of being a "bloke"?

@nokidshere to be fair a sample size of even a thousand is enough to give a decent indication of porn use for that age group, I don't think we will ever have porn use included on the national census!
And I don't think 98% for that age group is unreasonably high. The result showed that 80% used it in the last week, so 4 in 5 using it regularly.
That is the generation that has grown up with smart phones, it isn't surprising that porn use is high.

@whiteshark

I think there's lots of very naive wives on here 😂😂

Hundreds of posts, many of them offering reasonable and well balanced comments about their actual partners and the best you can provide as a debate against that is a couple of laughing emojis

Well done. Great input. Definitely worth the effort.

My ex didnt. He had a low sex drive too.

[quote BeagleEagle]@whiteshark how do you know your partner isn't secretly buying expensive watches on ebay and storing them in their desk at work?[/quote]
@BeagleEagle I don't. That's my whole point 😂

I think more men watch than are willing to admit to partners and female friends

There is a reason why there are such high numbers searching porn on the web

Watching others have sex is a huge turn on for many and being watched is there is nothing wrong with that but unfortunately there is many things wrong with the porn industry

@nokidshere to be fair a sample size of even a thousand is enough to give a decent indication of porn use for that age group, I don't think we will ever have porn use included on the national census!

Possibly, but since we don't know what the sample size was it's still totally useless information. What if it was 400? There are over 3 million 15-25 yr olds in the uk. For these statistics to make sense we need to know the sample size.

I've asked my dad and grandad and brother in law and father in law and boss and dentist and they all told me they don't and I believe them.

@whiteshark right, but that's my point too. You can't assume your partner is lying about everything, that's what trust and communication is for.

@nokidshere it was about 1000. You could say that is a small size but realistically if you doubled or tripled the size you wouldn't get a huge variation from that number.
You might see it drop a few percent, but unless the researchers carried the study out in a strip club or somewhere else unrepresentative of the general population, it's fair to say a very very high portion of under 25s view porn regularly.

The sun did a survey of 10,000 people in 2019
which had results of 38% men saying they watch porn every day and 74% saying they watch at least four times a week.

Wow 38% every day is high!!

Probably a similar proportion as women that read porn (50 shades etc). Not all.

yes very high. there will be bias as it was online users etc but its not hard to imagine if that's 74% at 4 times a week , what it would be for anyone viewing once every few months or more..

@Pancake4life

yes very high. there will be bias as it was online users etc but its not hard to imagine if that's 74% at 4 times a week , what it would be for anyone viewing once every few months or more..

It is the Sun, too, which used to have pornography available to readers every day on its third page. Population sampling is a very difficult thing to do