Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that all men watch porn even when in a sexually gratifying relationship ?

772 replies

pedestalpony · 16/03/2021 20:39

Possibly done to death but do they or at least the majority and if so are you ok with it ?
No real back story but have reason to believe that my bf does now and again ... mainly through presumption of women he follows on Facebook ... first six pictures etc.
I know he also games with many men and women throughout the world through that platform so he has many' friends' from that..
He doesn't like or comment on the women's posts but they show up now and again on the six profile pics of his friends on Facebook .
Am I being a prude/ presumptuous / overthinking .

OP posts:
Alwaysandforeverhere · 17/03/2021 10:28

The whole men porn debate is funny though. So if it’s a dead certain in women’s eyes men must watch porn all the time.

Does that make it true in men’s eyes that all women are just nags all the time Grin

Bit like the myth that men are always up for it and somethings wrong with them if they don’t want to “jump your bones” all the time.

Everyone’s different. Wank don’t wank. Porn no porn. Does it actually matter? Why do we insist on sticking to gender stereotypes.

DynamoKev · 17/03/2021 10:29

@Alwaysandforeverhere

The whole men porn debate is funny though. So if it’s a dead certain in women’s eyes men must watch porn all the time.

Does that make it true in men’s eyes that all women are just nags all the time Grin

Bit like the myth that men are always up for it and somethings wrong with them if they don’t want to “jump your bones” all the time.

Everyone’s different. Wank don’t wank. Porn no porn. Does it actually matter? Why do we insist on sticking to gender stereotypes.

^Yup!
BlackBucketOfCheese · 17/03/2021 10:30

I think 99% do, whats wrong with it? Doesnt bother me and can spice up things if you enjoy it together ?

As long as you’re fine consuming images of rape and human trafficking, then yeah use the misery of women to spice up your sex life. FFS.

NiceGerbil · 17/03/2021 10:31

Pancake you think there's no exploitation in gay porn??!!

Also this is very naive 'guys also watch gay men having sex'. Not necessarily gay at all. Never heard of gay for pay? Some men in gay porn are straight.

BlackBucketOfCheese · 17/03/2021 10:32

They are humans. Humans have enjoyed watching other humans have sex for thousands of years.

I wonder for how many years humans have enjoyed watching women being trafficked, beaten and raped for their own pleasure?

activitythree · 17/03/2021 10:33

Everyone’s different. Wank don’t wank. Porn no porn. Does it actually matter? Why do we insist on sticking to gender stereotypes.

It's not about stereotypes though. And the porn v no porn absolutely is something that matters. The harm that is caused by the porn 'industry' clearly need to be highlighted more. The amount of women on this thread saying 'it doesn't matter'

It does. It does matter. It matters a lot.

SummerOne · 17/03/2021 10:34

@Pancake4life

I'm sorry but you are really coming across like you have a personal issue surrounding men and trust. I know my partner and I trust him. We were friends for years before we got together and have been friends since young teenagers so before we were together I knew what he was like etc.

Every man is different, everyone's situation is different. Why do you stereotype men? I don't understand. Imagine if this was reversed about nagging women etc.

But anyway, I would work on your trust issues.

activitythree · 17/03/2021 10:35

guys also watch gay men having sex , solo maturbation and cartoon porn if they have ethical issues around women in the porn industry.

I was very careful earlier to ensure I stated that both men and women are exploited.

Men watching 'gay men having sex' isn't an innocent by product. These men are not gay men having sex for pleasure. They are just as trafficked and exploited and possibly straight as the women.

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 10:37

@BlackBucketOfCheese

I think 99% do, whats wrong with it? Doesnt bother me and can spice up things if you enjoy it together ?

As long as you’re fine consuming images of rape and human trafficking, then yeah use the misery of women to spice up your sex life. FFS.

Rape and human trafficking? Never seen that sort of porn and obviously goes without saying i would not !! We used to watch the ones where the plumber comes to visit lol, just light hearted sex stuff, women and men that have chosen to do this, cant see what is wring with that.
activitythree · 17/03/2021 10:37

I forgot to add the drugged and raped part. Both men and women are subject to these things and it runs deep and far through the porn 'industry'

SummerOne · 17/03/2021 10:38

Also may I add that before my dp and I got together (and I'm sure this is the case for many) he was pretty oblivious to the fact he could be and probably was watching women who could've been forced into it, underage, doing it for drugs, don't want to do it, their only option, trafficked and so much more. Now if he did watch it, knowing that information, obviously I would not stay with him as his morals do not work with mine. Why would anyone who knows they could be watching any of those situations want to watch it.

Not to mention it warping expectations in women and sex

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 10:38

Can I add sex is just sex, natural and normal and i bet 99% of men do look at it in some form or another no matter what they tell you, and i bet a lot of women do too!!

activitythree · 17/03/2021 10:39

@Flowers24

Rape and human trafficking? Never seen that sort of porn and obviously goes without saying i would not !! We used to watch the ones where the plumber comes to visit lol, just light hearted sex stuff, women and men that have chosen to do this, cant see what is wring with that.

Good god. You cannot be serious?

You are, aren't you? Sad

I literally have no words. This is something you can find out about for yourself. Please do it.

Pancake4life · 17/03/2021 10:39

@SummerOne theres a lot of people posting here saying you're being ridiculous. I have no issue with a level of porn use and therefore no trust issues around men using it or not. you however come across as a doormat. ill see you back here in a years time when you're another mumsnet statistic , shocked to find out your partner has done the unthinkable and you can't believe it!

SummerOne · 17/03/2021 10:40

@Flowers24

How can you say they're 100% consensual and that there's no drugs involved? Not attacking you, genuinely curious.

MyDcAreMarvel · 17/03/2021 10:40

@Nicknacky They might say they don’t, but you can’t know with all certainty that they don’t. I know my husbands views on pornography , he does not and has never watched it.

ButtonMoony · 17/03/2021 10:41

@BlackBucketOfCheese

They are humans. Humans have enjoyed watching other humans have sex for thousands of years.

I wonder for how many years humans have enjoyed watching women being trafficked, beaten and raped for their own pleasure?

That is not even close to being all porn though is it.

You think the top porn stars who (pre covid) earn millions were doing it against their will.

Anyone who has a partner under 45 who thinks he doesn't watch porn. Tell him something is "simply lovely" if he smirks then like nearly all men under 45 he and his mates share porn videos.

activitythree · 17/03/2021 10:41

Can I add sex is just sex,

Yes. Sex is sex.

natural and normal

Yes again.

and i bet 99% of men do look at it in some form or another no matter what they tell you, and i bet a lot of women do too!!

We have been over this. You cannot out a random figure on this based on absolutely nothing.

I would normally suggest you bring a reasonable debate to the table at this stage but you have indicated that you don't have a clue. So. It's not that you don't care about the issue surrounding porn, just that you don't know them. Go find out. Then come back and provide a balanced argument to back up your posts.

I will look forward to it.

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 10:41

I dont know but i honestly dont have an issue with porn, its the oldest business there is and its just sex? Most people wont admit looking at it maybe or watching it but its human nature, esp for men who are often very visual.

SwimmingInToys · 17/03/2021 10:42

Watching porn is a choice, why would you think every single person of one sex would make the same choice? Confused

I'm sure plenty of men and women watch porn but it's not something that features in my life at all for both ethical reasons and that it just isn't needed/wanted. As for my DH I couldn't say for certain, but I have no reason to think he does watch it and a few to think he doesn't.

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 10:42

activity three - provide your statistics on the opposite as well and i will also look forward to your balanced argument.

LindaEllen · 17/03/2021 10:42

I love the number of people who say their partners don't watch porn.

They probably do. They just don't wave it in your face. It's normal.

Alsohuman · 17/03/2021 10:43

@Flowers24

I dont know but i honestly dont have an issue with porn, its the oldest business there is and its just sex? Most people wont admit looking at it maybe or watching it but its human nature, esp for men who are often very visual.
Research porn, drug and human trafficking and abuse.
Sammiesnake · 17/03/2021 10:43

My DH doesn’t. I’m as sure as hell that’s true and he has no reason to lie about it to me. I know him very well and I’d put my life on the fact that he doesn’t. So no, not very man.

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 10:44

@LindaEllen

I love the number of people who say their partners don't watch porn.

They probably do. They just don't wave it in your face. It's normal.

Its almost funny isnt it!
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.