Let me hear your most ridiculous baby boasts

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

It’s going to get worse isn’t it

I’ve been on here long enough to know that babies can bring out the worst competitiveness in parents, I wasn’t expecting it to start quite so early.

Last week I had my 12 week scan, first baby. I was very nervous due to a previous loss. The sonographer thankfully let me hear the heartbeat straight away, but when she found the baby, it was very still. She got me to move around a bit to wake it up, which it eventually did, so she could get some pictures and measurements etc.

For some reason, I’d not considered they slept in there. I was jokingly telling my friend who had a baby last year, that ours was asleep when she started the scan. ‘Oh’ says my friend. ‘Ours was very active, she was jumping around all over the place, she even waved. But she’s always been very curious about everything. You’re probably going to have quite a lazy baby, I’d think.’

So there we go, at three months and still in my womb, someone has already compared my baby to their’s

Let me hear some other examples and have a laugh.

My baby looked like it was waving on the scan too obv I’m aware the baby wasn’t waving haha!

It’s even more annoying when the person is comparing a baby from a while ago. My sister likes to remind me about how advanced my nephew was when he was the same age as my baby (more than 10 years age gap) and I really don’t have any proof either way except my own memory!! When I said I was proud of my little one for potty training last month (age 3 and has struggled with it) she just had to remind me that her son was fully potty trained before age 1... which of course was true

One of my children walked very early - no idea why, don’t attribute it to anything I did, he must just have good balance or something.

I used to take him to a village hall playgroup and a few mums would quite aggressively question me on why he was walking so early, how did I do it, what was the secret etc...

Some people are crazy.

Love this thread.

A friend's vvvPFB was starting to talk, and he confidently told (at the time childless) DH and another friend how good her speech was. Apparently he couldn't understand a word said by the others in their baby group, but Lily's speech was crystal clear.

DH and friend didn't have the heart to tell him they couldn't understand a bloody word she said, and so gently tried to suggest that perhaps each parent could understand their own child best as they were used to their speech. But no, Lily was a genius, entirely due to his parenting of course

My first daughter was ridiculously physically advanced, holding her head up from birth, sitting unaided at two months and she was walking at eight months. I wasn't boastful about it because firstly I knew (and still know!) nothing about babies so didn't have much idea it was unusual except that other mothers at baby groups looked at us in horror and told me it would harm her development (as if I could stop her!), and secondly it was a real pain in the tubes because it all just made taking care of her harder. If anyone was impressed I was always happy to point out that yes, she was physically advanced but the bugger wouldn't sleep or eat and had aged me by about 20 years. She's six now and perfectly normal. Very good at PE and dance but very average academically. My second is two now and still doesn't talk. She's always been way slower than her sister developmentally but I'd argue she's going to be by far the more intelligent academically. This is babies, they're all different and anyone who doesn't realise it is an idiot.

@FoxyTheFox

DS aged around 1yo, we had been to baby softplay with a family member who had a similarly aged child and it was time to leave. DS was absolutely losing his shit because he was hungry or tired or something. I remarked to relative something saracastic along the lines of "isn't this a magical age?" and she replied "John (her DC) doesn't ever cry, he finds it embarrassing".

A mum at baby group told me that her DC was such an old soul and that's why he was so far ahead of the babies. The phrases "leader of the pack" and "he's been here before" were used. She then told me that my DC was "brand spanking new" with a pitying glance as he lay face down grunting at the carpet.

😂😂😂

Only waved? Mine did the Makaton signs for 'Hello mummy, I love you' at his 12-week scan ;)

A woman I know told me that her 9 month old could ask for the receipt in shops.

My next door neighbour when telling me about how she was putting her baby into nursery at the age of 8 weeks: “well, he’s such a sociable child, he needs to have the opportunity to make lots of friends.”

@vampirethriller

A woman I know told me that her 9 month old could ask for the receipt in shops.

Why would that ever happen? Even if it's true, what a boring thing to teach a baby.

Any stories I tell about my toddler, my friend immediately counters with a "similar" story about her cat... 😹

That is too funny OP! Ppl are ridiculous lol 😆

DD barely ever moved in the womb. In fact, she was so lazy she did even bother to rotate herself so her head was properly engaged, she was a breech. She slept through 8-6 from 9 weeks, and as a toddler used to ask to go to bed! After her bath and bottle she would gather up her blankie and teddy and patiently sit on the bottom step, until DH or I could take her up.

Now a teenager she is capable of epic levels of sleeping, and she still likes to fit in day time where possible.

I used to feel really embarassed when talk turned to how much sleep mothers weren't getting it was like some strange competition as to who could manage on the least amount of sleep and how little their babies slept.
Mine were all terrific sleepers from very early on (DS1 went through the night from 10 days old) but I felt too embarassed to mention it and I wondered if I piped up if anyone would even believe me or suggest there was something wrong with my DC's!

Humble brag here ... but 8 weeks reassurance scan and baby was doing the splits 🤣

My first baby never stopped moving. I had too go back too get some measurements at 13 weeks. He was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 and has sleep problems. The other 2 kids were “lazy” and slept a lot both are fantastic sleepers and much more chilled kids.

A FB acquaintance with a child pretty much exactly the same age as mine used to put posts on all the time from about 8 weeks old about how she was saying all sorts, nodding her head yes, shaking her head no etc. I just kept quiet but 3 years down the line I know that her daughter now has some speech and language problems so was extremely unlikely to have been talking at a few weeks old. I think she was just hearing and seeing things that others would just see as normal baby coos and random movements.

Just had a girl on my social media with a 1.5 year old who could count and recognise the numbers thanks to the wooden toys and open ended play that she provided for him.

Know someone a bit boasty about their baby and milestones, their baby is 2 weeks younger but generally been ahead of ours for milestones. Our baby started walking, other mum said hers had already started but decided to go back to crawling as he's so fast at that

DD started teething early which was, to put it lightly, pretty hellish. She was 12 weeks. I could tell MIL (who is really lovely) didn't believe me... she was very shocked when a little tooth popped out a few weeks later.

Anyway, at the local baby group, all the babies were a bit older than DD. I asked if anyone had any advice as I was a bit desperate (she'd slept really well up till that point so it was a bit of a shock!) and they were all going through it. Cue lots of helpful advice and much appreciated sympathy. Except for Susan Bitchface, who remarked "It doesn't mean she's CLEVERER, you know?" Yes, thank you, Susan, I am aware that the emergence of teeth is not a sign of intelligence.

She was an awful woman. I think every baby group has one.

DC1 and DC2 were great sleepers, one was sleeping from 9pm/10pm (depending on when they had their last feed) to around 7am from six weeks old and the other was doing it from birth. This fooled us into having DC3, aka He Who Was Prophesied, Scourge of The Nursery, Destroyer Of Worlds, Harbinger of The Apocalypse. He did not sleep through the night even once until he was three years old and at least once a week would pull an all nighter for shits and giggles. I'd be there on the sofa at 6am, dying from lack of sleep, and he'd be fresh as a daisy. I'm fairly sure he used to suck his energy directly from my soul.

Love the waving! Absolutely hilarious .Maybe she should have told the Sonographer to wave back! Honestly it never stops . As above PP says you may get a nice peaceful laid back babe and hers may have ADHD or something.

These are hilarious, am loving the lazy and waving foetuses!

Having a lockdown baby means I have missed this a bit with DC2 but I had one woman tell me that her baby slept so well because she spent a lot of time reading up about sleep. He also met some milestones early because he eats a lot of fish so his brain development is super advanced.

@GoodMumBadMum

I know someone who has started potty training at 10 months. She then got really annoyed when her SIL started potty training at 4 months (yes, seriously!) I don't really understand how it is possible to start that young as the 10 month old can't walk to the potty and take their trousers down and a 4 month old wouldn't even be able to sit upright on it!

There are several different techniques to get a baby/toddler potty trained and one/two of them you can start a few weeks after birth...

Susan Bitchface

Yes, every playgroup has one.