Let me hear your most ridiculous baby boasts

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

It’s going to get worse isn’t it

I’ve been on here long enough to know that babies can bring out the worst competitiveness in parents, I wasn’t expecting it to start quite so early.

Last week I had my 12 week scan, first baby. I was very nervous due to a previous loss. The sonographer thankfully let me hear the heartbeat straight away, but when she found the baby, it was very still. She got me to move around a bit to wake it up, which it eventually did, so she could get some pictures and measurements etc.

For some reason, I’d not considered they slept in there. I was jokingly telling my friend who had a baby last year, that ours was asleep when she started the scan. ‘Oh’ says my friend. ‘Ours was very active, she was jumping around all over the place, she even waved. But she’s always been very curious about everything. You’re probably going to have quite a lazy baby, I’d think.’

So there we go, at three months and still in my womb, someone has already compared my baby to their’s

Let me hear some other examples and have a laugh.

My late MiL (slightly unhinged it must be said) claims that her middle son’s first words were “Women’s Institute Buffet” (she had no idea why). She was always a bit hard of hearing so he may just have said a simple “Cagoule” like @Level32’s child . He was a precocious child and now an Oxford don so perhaps it’s true. No idea if he has anything to do with the WI.

I have two boys. DS2 was significantly more fidgetty in the womb than DS1. DS2 walked earlier than DS1 and basically hasn't stopped running since he could walk!

@SmidgenofaPigeon

It’s going to get worse isn’t it

I’ve been on here long enough to know that babies can bring out the worst competitiveness in parents, I wasn’t expecting it to start quite so early.

Last week I had my 12 week scan, first baby. I was very nervous due to a previous loss. The sonographer thankfully let me hear the heartbeat straight away, but when she found the baby, it was very still. She got me to move around a bit to wake it up, which it eventually did, so she could get some pictures and measurements etc.

For some reason, I’d not considered they slept in there. I was jokingly telling my friend who had a baby last year, that ours was asleep when she started the scan. ‘Oh’ says my friend. ‘Ours was very active, she was jumping around all over the place, she even waved. But she’s always been very curious about everything. You’re probably going to have quite a lazy baby, I’d think.’

So there we go, at three months and still in my womb, someone has already compared my baby to their’s

Let me hear some other examples and have a laugh.

Haha my first baby was asleep at my 12 week scan and he is a little live wire! He barely slept at all for the first two years and he is really active.

My second was jumping around at the twelve week scan and spent two years barely moving and looking like a big beaming potato.

You definitely can’t infer anything from scans!

@Flyingfrogspawn I had this too, had such bad morning sickness that I lost weight and had a really small bump. A friend of mine kept tell him me how much easier I had it, once even after I'd come back from the loo after being sick. Yeah because throwing up every half hour, even at night trying to sleep is soooooo much easier Mine also came out at a healthy weight too.

I had a colleague who used to claim that while his wife was pregnant with their PFB that the baby could recognise his voice, which is not beyond the bounds of possibility. But then he would go on to say that the baby wouldn't settle down to sleep at night until she had a cuddle and story from Daddy, all whilst still in the womb!

DC1 put himself in such an awkward position at the 12 week scan that they had to use an internal probe to get the measurements and have me moving all over the table. The scan photo is so bad, people asked if it was actually a baby as he looked like a bird. He posed beautifully at the 20 week scan but started by mooning us - even I could tell the sex.

DC2 behaved for scan 1 but was so uncooperative for scan 2, they didn’t charge us for the photo.

My friend is currently potty training her 11 month old. At least, that’s what she thinks she’s doing. Yes, 11 month old. They started when she was 10 months and she’s doing really well. (Apparently she will perform on the potty if you ask her to but isn’t able to say when she needs to go - no shit. Pun intended.)

I am being very, very good and have only gently remarked that her aspiration to have DC1 out of nappies before 18 months when DC2 arrives may not be fully realistic. I also hope they have hard floors.

My DC2 is a few months older. He isn’t so advanced, sadly, although he can climb the sofa now. He shat in the bath a few weeks ago.

@ScrambledSmegs . Are you me? Because mine have been the most beautiful babies, you know. Even the one who looked like a potato.

I remember telling me that her first grandchild had had their 12-month HV check, at 12 months, and the HV had said her development was actually closer to that of a 14-mth old baby 🤣

My sister bizarrely claimed her daughter was more advanced than mine because DD is 3 months older but DN cut her first tooth first I was charitable and put it down to sleep deprivation.

I had a friend who said the reason her son was having difficulty toilet training was that his genitals were too big. When my son got his toy kitchen, she said 'thats cute, my son skipped that whole development stage' . Also she claimed his first words were octopus and thorax among other things.

We aren't friends any more.

My baby has been hyper on scans( had to have a second scan to finish the 20 week scan)

To be honest I've luckily not had that much of this really but then I reckon some of it would have gone over my head as I'm just not arsed. I remember being at a baby group when DD was 6.5 months and a mum sitting near me had a DC a couple of weeks younger and we were chatting and she asked me if DD could sit unassisted yet. I said no and she pulled a face of shock and actually loudly said "She still can't sit up?!" in a tone of horror. It was so bad that one of the children's centre staff actually looked our way and breezed over to intervene in the conversation! Anyway I was quite amused by this and was supporting DD into a sitting position. I said no she just flops over, moved backwards to show them and there DD sat totally unassisted grinning away! Cue shock from me and the children's centre staff member bursting into laughter and happily proceeding to offer to take photos of us to document the milestone. Other mum had a right face on her and didn't talk to me again after that was so bizarre.

I also had my DF repeatedly telling us DD was "severely speech delayed" when she was 12 months old because the only 'word' she had mastered by then was 'uh oh'. Claimed I was speaking in sentences by then again not phased, her speech developed perfectly normally and she's been a total chatterbox speaking in sentences since she turned 2.

I actually feel sorry for parents you see at groups who all they want to talk about is milestones and development rather than their DC's personality or interests etc. Think they must be very anxious and insecure and that must be difficult to carry around with you all the time.

@FoxyTheFox

It's also really bad stereotyping, people with ADHD can be chill out and laid back too. One of DS friends from his ND youth group has ADHD inattentive type and is the calmest, most laid back I know.

I have inattentive ADHD (53 years old!) and the stereotype of ADHD as being all about young boys bouncing off the walls is what has kept mainly girls and women (inattentive type males too) from getting a diagnosis and the help they need - very frustrating.

Anyway...don’t want to divert the thread.

@Lanadelsugarray so they were watching a documentary about the sea while a health professional/student was in their house talking, and her son copied the voices he heard.

Tbh I wouldn't have taken it the way you have.
I don't think it's that deep IMO.

We get this with our DNephew - he's 6 weeks younger than my DS and the most fantastical child the world has ever seen 😂
With my eldest I never noticed the comparison as much with other children, but with DS, my goodness. He's basically a feral oaf compared to everyone else's 3 year old apparently 😂

@GoodMumBadMum

I know someone who has started potty training at 10 months. She then got really annoyed when her SIL started potty training at 4 months (yes, seriously!) I don't really understand how it is possible to start that young as the 10 month old can't walk to the potty and take their trousers down and a 4 month old wouldn't even be able to sit upright on it!

I know someone who did potty training from birth - lots of dashing to the loo and holding them over it I believe. Sounds insane to me - nappies were invented for a reason.

I remember my DB sitting on a potty quite young (more than 4 months, but probably less than 10) but I think that might have just been my mum taking advantage of knowing when in the day he'd do a dirty nappy and sticking him on a potty at that point. I don't think anyone would have claimed he was being potty trained.

These are all really brightening up my morning
Naturally, the wonderful but quite averagely academic children I nanny for are both VERY GIFTED. In fact, their mum had to take the boy home from a party at age 4, because he was asked to read out a clue from the treasure hunt they were doing, and he read so well that the other children were agape and the parents in a deep despair that their children were not at that level. She said ‘we left before it got ugly’

I was my mum’s PFB, and because I had long fingers, she kept saying I’d be a natural pianist. She never fostered this or paid for any lessons, we didn’t even have a piano, but even now when she looks at my fingers she will say ‘such a shame you never did become a pianist’

@FoxyTheFox

DS aged around 1yo, we had been to baby softplay with a family member who had a similarly aged child and it was time to leave. DS was absolutely losing his shit because he was hungry or tired or something. I remarked to relative something saracastic along the lines of "isn't this a magical age?" and she replied "John (her DC) doesn't ever cry, he finds it embarrassing".

A mum at baby group told me that her DC was such an old soul and that's why he was so far ahead of the babies. The phrases "leader of the pack" and "he's been here before" were used. She then told me that my DC was "brand spanking new" with a pitying glance as he lay face down grunting at the carpet.

😂

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Haha! People are ridiculous. At my 20 week scan my son wasn't in a good position for them to check his spine and I had to drink water and go for a walk around the hospital to try to shift him. I'm sure your friend would be keen to brand my son as a trouble-maker op!

I've just been reminded of the time one of the in-laws showed me an old photo of DH standing in their kitchen doing some sort of pose. They gushed about how brilliant he was, how advanced, how clever, "he was only around a year old here!". DH in the photograph is blatantly fucking seven or eight.

When I was scanned with DS the sonographer was saying how all of his measurements were exactly in the middle of the 'normal' ranges. SHe said 'he couldn't be more average if he tried'. She was of course referring to his measurements and we had a little laugh about it.

When I relayed this to an also pregnant friend she gave a little head tilt and said 'oh dear, you poor thing' I genuinely think she thought my DS was predestined to be a totally average child/human and she thought that was just devastating. He is pretty average now that he's 16 and I'm very happy with my lovely, funny average boy

@ScrambledSmegs

I remember silently pitying the other parents in my baby group their perfectly normal-looking babies, whilst mine was obviously the most beautiful baby the world had ever seen. People should have been paying me to gaze upon her angelic face.

I look at the photos from those days, at my spotty, cross-eyed, cradle-cap covered baby and think I must have been so high on oxytocin that I'm surprised I managed to put my shoes on the right feet when I went out.

Haha! Not a parent, but when I was a few weeks old I had severe eczema. My mum would be pushing the pram along the high street and would bump into someone who hadn't seen her new arrival. They'd pull back the pram covers, and instead of saying "aww how beautiful" at the little cutie, they saw me, who looked like a miniature version of ET and would hurry off, too embarrassed to say anything.

These are great. I've just been reminded of one of the most brilliant threads I've read on Mumsnet, a few years ago now: it was called 'Performance Dad in the Swimming Pool'.

Bet we've all seen one ...

Some of these are making me snort 😂

I have a friend who told me recently that her daughter, who is now six, was crawling at four months and talking in full sentences by 10 months.

I’m not saying that’s impossible, I don’t know - I’m sure there are some fast-developing babies out there - but I do remember them attending my wedding when her daughter was 6 months old and she couldn’t sit up unaided then, let alone crawl.