Let me hear your most ridiculous baby boasts

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

It’s going to get worse isn’t it

I’ve been on here long enough to know that babies can bring out the worst competitiveness in parents, I wasn’t expecting it to start quite so early.

Last week I had my 12 week scan, first baby. I was very nervous due to a previous loss. The sonographer thankfully let me hear the heartbeat straight away, but when she found the baby, it was very still. She got me to move around a bit to wake it up, which it eventually did, so she could get some pictures and measurements etc.

For some reason, I’d not considered they slept in there. I was jokingly telling my friend who had a baby last year, that ours was asleep when she started the scan. ‘Oh’ says my friend. ‘Ours was very active, she was jumping around all over the place, she even waved. But she’s always been very curious about everything. You’re probably going to have quite a lazy baby, I’d think.’

So there we go, at three months and still in my womb, someone has already compared my baby to their’s

Let me hear some other examples and have a laugh.

Apparently my dd was sucking her thumb in the 20 week scan - not sure if that was good or bad.

My dn could fit 3 dummies in his mouth at once when he was 18 months, my dsis didn’t boast about this for some reason.😂

My first was always bouncing about and doing flips when I had scans. I was amazed as I couldn’t feel it but he was having an amazing time in there. Slept like a dream and was the happiest baby ever. You just never know what you’ll get!

Ha! I was apparently that baby who kept kicking the scanner off and was the worst sleeper ever!

Hopefully you will be feeling nice and smug with a good sleeper soon!

I know of someone who thought she ought NOT to take her baby to baby groups because he was so gorgeous all the other mums would be jealous.

(It was me. I did cop onto myself though)

He's still utterly gorgeous, although he has a whole array of difficulties. Trust me, when you have an autistic child it seems to bring out ther worst in some parents who cannot help but compare their own child favourably (and sometimes hurtfully).

Wouldn't change him for the world though. :)

That's hilarious!!!!!
A 12w old fetus waving. Must be a very smart one 😂😂🤭

A family member is currently pregnant a month behind me.
We were saying that at our 34w scan baby was all good and about 2.4 kg just to make conversation really because who cares.
But then this relative who can't help but brag about everything and anything and make up stuff had to say that hers was actually 3.6kg at the 30w scan. And she was so proud of herself!!!!!!
So me and DH were just looking at each other 🙄 yeah right...

I had twins. One of them was head down and constantly asleep. The other was transverse and never kept still, in one scan close to the birth the sonographer said she was kicking her brother! They are exactly like that now, aged 4. Ds will concentrate on an activity he likes for quite a while and he sleeps well. He often lies down on the floor and goes to sleep for a bit if he is tired. He likes rules and if you tell him he mustn't touch something e.g. the cooker he won't touch it and tells everyone else not to. His sister is constantly on the go, into everything, hated naps and rarely sleeps all night. She has caused every grey hair on my head!

My baby was very lazy for all my scans, had to drink sugary drinks and walk about to get her to move. She is now one of the most active babies I've known, wants to be everywhere and do everything all of the time. She does sleep well at night though. If lazy in the womb means good sleep at night then you win!

It's crazy what some people will find to say about their kids! Two of my friends had babies within a year of each other and it was quite tough for the first couple of years because of the competitiveness, but it was around how hard it all was!

Not a baby, but a friend of a friend had a girl starting school and wanted to tell the school that her daughter had special needs and required additional support.... because she was just SO intelligent!!

I thought, yes, please do - the school will have your card marked from the offset!! 😂

She said cagoule. So not just talking, but ambitious vocabulary at that!

🤣

My friend was in hospital with her newborn, and told me one of the nurses always stroked them under the chin as she checked them. Apparently my friend's baby saw her coming, and stroked his own chin, while pulling a face at her!! Not sure I believed that one.......

I only had 12 week scans for 2 of mine, but dd2 was jiggling all over the place and ds was so still I was scared until they reassured me by showing his heart was going.
They were both active children, but ds was worse.
However dd1 was a sleepy baby inside (she even slept through most of labour) and was a sleepy baby outside. She slept 6 hour nights from birth and by 8 weeks did 12 hour nights. There were definite advantages with that.

My favourite competitive one was bil (and wife), who knows everything. Wife was pg after we'd had our 3 dc. Due date was end of December, so we speculated whether they would be born in which year. They got angry. Apparently they knew their dates and this baby would be born on it's due date because, unlike all the other reckless parents who hadn't worked it out carefully, they "knew their dates". Baby was born 10 days late
Labour was also going to be painless as they'd done their breathing exercises and knew if you did them right then labour wouldn't be painful. I'll let you guess how that one went.

Another favourite one for slightly older ones was one I came across on a forum (not MN) where the mum wanted to know if she should complain about her HV. They'd gone to the 2 year check and the HV had asked the standard question: "Does he say 50 words?" which of course was the minimum number before intervention at that stage.
"I think he's a genius," she replied. "He says 120." Apparently the HV didn't react with the correct awe and wonder they should have. Apparently the rest of the forum didn't either.
I think it was the same mum swore their dc had taught themselves to read at 18 months because whenever they passed a bus they said "bus". Clearly they were reading the sign not looking at the vehicle.

@Level32 according to my db when he visited our dd at a few weeks , he insists she said redrum which is murder backwards. She did sleep with her eyes partly open so perhaps she was scheming when we thought she was asleep!

Our girl was always moving a lot in scans and I remember asking the sonographer ‘oh if they’re moving a lot in the scan does that mean they’re super chilled when they arrive?’ And she was like ‘hahahahahahaha.. no’ 😑

And sure enough, my girl is a tornado 😂 but I wouldn’t have her any other way, much more fun

My mum still boasts about how advanced my older brother was as a baby (he was the first born). Apparently he was so advanced that midwives etc would not believe her when she told them how early he smiled/rolled over/spoke etc etc. This was a direct result of her never allowing him to cry/murmer etc for a second. He was a terrible sleeper because he was just so clever. Mum compares all babies in the family to him and so far none have come close to being as 'clever'.

The fact that his academic achievements are actually not as good as her other children, he has no other talents and is actually quite a lazy unpleasant arse do not stop her from using the 0-3 year old him as the benchmark for all children.

@Level32

I like to respond to comments like that with the absolute, unequivocal FACT that my baby is clearly the most genius baby there over was because she started talking at 2 weeks. Absolutely true. She said cagoule. So not just talking, but ambitious vocabulary at that!

(DISCLAIMER: I am fully aware it was random baby babbling noises, but I know someone, or 2 or 3, will fail to spot the sarcasm)

Erm, well my baby spoke at less than 1 hour old (I said to him, while still in the delivery room, 'do you think we should try for a feed?' and he made a 'yeeeehhhhh' noise, and DH looked at me in genuine astonishment and said 'did he just speak?', which he later blamed on the emotion of the moment and tiredness rather than an actual belief that a literal newborn could talk )

One of the other mothers in the postnatal group I went to with DS1 told me 'in confidence' that her daughter had started rolling. She didn't want to tell everyone in case it made them feel bad, which it then emerged was because she was convinced that the reason her DD was 'so advanced' was because she was breastfed. She'd told me as the only other one fully breastfeeding (but presumably also as the mother of a dullard as DS, despite his intake of liquid gold, was still just lying there)

you've reminded me of a story a colleague told me about her BIL Her DSis had just given birth to their son, and BIL was absolutely enraptured with the size of the newborn's penis.

Apparently he kept saying to the hospital staff that it must be the biggest baby penis they'd ever seen. At one point he smugly and creepily said 'He gets it from me' and winked at the midwife who was stitching up his poor wife. Everyone was at him.

Part of my job used to be to help new staff relocating to our organisation find accommodation. I received an e-mail from an American new-start tagged with a picture of her toddler on the potty with the caption that little Johnny had just "done potty" for the first time.

I assume this was tagged on all her e-mails so would also likely be seen by HR and her new manager. It wasn't a mistake as we continued to get updates on "Johnny" until she started work, when presumably someone had a word. .

We were chatting about potty training at the local Mam and toddler group and one mum said that it took her 6 days over summer to potty train fully her child. The child was 2.

I remember how I came home and cried. My DD has additional needs so everything is such huge effort with her.
Nearly 2 years passed, my DD was about 4.5 and potty trained, we were chatting again about potty training and how different it’s for boys and girls. And this mum said that oh, yes, it’s such a long process and her child still has accidents regularly.
I know it’s such a small thing but I remember how I struggled with DD’s potty training and was scared to talk to anyone because I still had this comment about potty training in 6 days ringing in my ears and I felt such a failure.
I actually don’t think that the mum meant it in a boasting way. She’s really nice, it’s her first child and she was just very excited.

Oh yes it doesn't get better either, I am not a boastful parent. My daughter did crawl early but I didn't boast about this to a friend, she just saw her do it. Our children were born days apart. So my daughter crawling is when the comparing started 🙄 "well my daughter sat up earlier, walked earlier, blah blah" I don't care 🙄 some mums are like it at baby groups too🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣

That’s funny OP. I’d like to say it gets any better but you have a LIFETIME of this.

@NormanStangerson

Ha! Do you know what OP, my baby was like yours on my scans and now he’s out he’s a brilliant sleeper. So let’s hope yours is like mine and you can return the favour when you’re getting 8 hours solid kip a night and her ‘curious’ girl is waking her up repeatedly.

Mine was too! And he loves his sleep now. I had to have so many repeat scans because he wasn’t in the right position and wouldn’t move for me. He has always napped and slept so easily (unlike my first!) so hopefully it’s a sign of good things to come OP.

Waved? Pah! My baby was doing British Sign Language on our 12 week scan

A boy at my baby group was fully potty trained by 10 months. I mean, he still wore pull ups to bed amd had lots of "accidents" but apart from that, fully toilet trained.

Oh, I also have a friend who i love dearly but she used to find a photo of her toddler sticker her leg out or raising her arms and say she was clearly going to be a dancer just like mummy. I think she may have been the inspiration for that Aptamil advert.