Let me hear your most ridiculous baby boasts

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

It’s going to get worse isn’t it

I’ve been on here long enough to know that babies can bring out the worst competitiveness in parents, I wasn’t expecting it to start quite so early.

Last week I had my 12 week scan, first baby. I was very nervous due to a previous loss. The sonographer thankfully let me hear the heartbeat straight away, but when she found the baby, it was very still. She got me to move around a bit to wake it up, which it eventually did, so she could get some pictures and measurements etc.

For some reason, I’d not considered they slept in there. I was jokingly telling my friend who had a baby last year, that ours was asleep when she started the scan. ‘Oh’ says my friend. ‘Ours was very active, she was jumping around all over the place, she even waved. But she’s always been very curious about everything. You’re probably going to have quite a lazy baby, I’d think.’

So there we go, at three months and still in my womb, someone has already compared my baby to their’s

Let me hear some other examples and have a laugh.

Mi baby was always really active except on scans and really grumpy in the 3D pictures but is now super smiley!!

@7vio

A friend boasting about her baby having his first tooth way earlier than his peers. What a clever baby (eye roll)

Christ 😂 my DD had all her teeth by her first birthday and it was a bloody nightmare when they were all coming at the same time - sleepless nights in the middle of a heatwave with a screaming angry baby cutting 7 teeth - soooo many things to brag about there 😂🙄

Oh this reminds me of my darling late GM.
A while after she and DGP married they were delighted to welcome a 'honeymoon baby' .
The reason she gave for her baby being a few months early yet still managing to be 8lb9oz was 'he was more advanced with his growing so was ready earlier than other babies'

Oh op. Welcome to motherhood !
Everything your baby does will be judged and compared
The trick is to ignore it all
Take the advice of people you trust and the professionals and filter everyone else out

It never ends. I still get people comparing my 18 year old to theirs!

Head my dad and my oldest uncle were both super-advanced preemies

@CreosoteQueen

She nodded along and then told me it was actually easier to have twins than a singleton

Dear lord!

Twins run in my family and when I was pregnant I thought it might be nice to have twins - and of course, it would be lovely! But now that I actually have a baby I’m in awe of how people with twins manage!

I had twins - and yes, there are benefits when they're older in that they can play together and you feel less guilty getting on with your own stuff. But surely nobody thinks two babies are easier than one??? I was lucky that mine were pretty easy, and slept well - but as a minimum it can never be less than double the work.

Busbitch's friend must have been on something very peculiar...... Especially when she had just been told how hard it was!

But yes OP - some people just have to compare. You have the right approach in laughing at their silliness......

Someone I know but not a close friend(friend of a friend) who was due 4 days after me, sent me a message saying ' hi babe, I don't have a clue what pram to get, not really seen anything I like, what have you seen? ' ' replied with the pram and colour i had already ordered' oh my god is that the 'blah blah blah in colour blah, I saw that one and I swear that's what I was going to order! ' me ' it's lovely isn't it! And do it, they've got a good offer on atm' Other girl ' I really wanted to get this pram babe but I don't want anyone to have same as me, did you say you already ordered it?' Me ' sends receipt of 2 days before, yes I ordered it a couple days ago, but I honestly don't mind having same one it's just a pram' other girl ' well if your not that bothered because it's 'just a pram' can you ring up and change the colour so I can have that one without you copying me' .... I didn't reply but I saw her not long ago and she had completely diff pram and colour 😂

Girl I used to work with was due to give birth about 4ish weeks after me. I was the first person she told after her boss at work as she didn't want to think she was stealing my thunder . We didn't even work in the same departments so only saw each other in passing. She then used to compare our bump sizes all the time, as mine was quite small (extra growth scans because they were worried).

In the end her DD was born premature so is actually older than my DS (and he was born 2 weeks late as well). I'm sure it was really hard and upsetting that her DD was born early and had heart complications, but she took to reminding me often that her DD was now older.

She would also discuss with me how far her DD was progressing and then (with a head tilt and THAT look) would ask if DS had reached his milestones yet. "Oh, little Mildred has already started walking, what about your DS?".

I understand she probably did all that to reassure herself because she was worried about her own DD, but I wish she hadn't focussed on my DS for comparisons as he had his own issues (CMPA and severe reflux, under physio as he didn't walk till he was 2, speech delayed as he didn't talk till he was 3) and it just made me feel even worse than I already did. I'm so glad I don't work with her anymore and have blocked her on FB.

On a more lighter note, my DH's auntie always compares DS to her great grandchildren. Everything we say about DS, she's jump in and start talking about how great Grandchild 9 has started walking before their 1st birthday, or how she has been doing FaceTime learning with great grandchild 4. She does the same with us and her Grandchildren (we're the same age as her grandchildren).

It used to wind me up, but now I just let it slide and let her ramble on. Turns out she does it to everyone. Talking to 1 of the grandchildren and we found out she does the exact same thing to them but talks about us instead. It's nice to know, as it means she considers DS to be as important to her as her own great grandchildren (she's more of a grandparent than an auntie to us).

My eldest was very precocious verbally. One day I walked past a couple of ten year olds shouting at each other as they squared up for a fight. My baby was in the baby backpack taking it all in.

Five yards down the road, my ten month old darling began to sway cheerfully from side to side chanting distinctly, "Fuckoff! Fuckoff! Fuckoff!"

@Saracen

My eldest was very precocious verbally. One day I walked past a couple of ten year olds shouting at each other as they squared up for a fight. My baby was in the baby backpack taking it all in.

Five yards down the road, my ten month old darling began to sway cheerfully from side to side chanting distinctly, "Fuckoff! Fuckoff! Fuckoff!"

😂😂😂

I swear I could feel dd2 moving at 10 weeks. Possibly I was just a hormonal person with gas 🤣

One of my NCT friends said that apart from the fact her baby didn’t sleep, she was perfect. We all said oh don’t worry of course she’s still perfect to you, sleep will improve in time. Friend then said “no no no you don’t understand, she’s actually the PERFECT baby, objectively”. She was a totally normal baby.

Friend has now had a second one and uses her as a way of continuing to boast about the first - oh it’s so strange to have an average baby when I’m so used to having one that’s really advanced 🤣

Friend has now had a second one and uses her as a way of continuing to boast about the first - oh it’s so strange to have an average baby when I’m so used to having one that’s really advanced

Poor second baby!

Not a boast exactly but when mums say to me... He/she was huge at birth - 7.11!
I scoff and say mine were 9.8 - 9.4 and 10.3 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤣

My first was pretty slow hitting milestones at first - didn’t smile until about 11 weeks, couldn’t sit until after 7 months. But then suddenly took a “leap” at around 11 months, crawling and soon after walking and weirdly good language skills.

Some people were clearly incensed that the pigeon-hole they’d put her in didn’t work anymore. Another one was “if yours can do it, why can’t mine? Yours is so backward?”

Why are people so competitive! A friend of DHs is always telling us how advanced and super duper clever their daughter is and how she's ahead for her age and she will be going to the best school in the county because she is just so advanced! I mean she's a nice child but she's completely bang on average for her age!

I'm finding competitive pregnancies are tough going too! I'm 13+3 now and we told our friends last week after our scan and I've been inundated with advice and guidance from many people, some of who are only a couple of weeks ahead of me. I had hyperemisis and was in hospital on a drip for a few days and I've had people say 'oh morning sickness is the worst isnt it, I was SO ill with that, couldn't do anything and I'm surprised I'm still alive!' When they've admitted before that they only had nausea and it was for a couple of weeks

DS1 was 4.5 kgs when he was born and when they did the head control test he held his head up. We then became the sideshow for the entire paediatric department. He now has problems keeping his enormous head upright 😄

I know a woman with twins exactly the same age gender and combo (frat) as mine. Literally everything was a competition with her. Do they sleep do they roll and when one of mine walked first, well, she was not happy.
Yours had health issues? Well hers had more... but they were clearly gifted couldn’t you see.

The weirdest one remember was how she loved to go on about how tiny her twins were. No other baby could possibly be as small as hers (in a group of multiples mothers with premmie actually tiny babies). She also overshared on fb and used to give weight and length updates every month. They were without fail about the same size as mine every time. Putting them in about the 25th centile. She herself was 5’2” at absolute most, husband also not that tall. So not a surprise and also I’m still not sure why this was something to compete over.

Should have clarified, hers and mine were not premmie. So not tiny for their age. But we were surrounded by babies that were

@Saracen

My eldest was very precocious verbally. One day I walked past a couple of ten year olds shouting at each other as they squared up for a fight. My baby was in the baby backpack taking it all in.

Five yards down the road, my ten month old darling began to sway cheerfully from side to side chanting distinctly, "Fuckoff! Fuckoff! Fuckoff!"

Ahh the "pleasures" of an early talker.

My toddler groups were full of women whose 18 month olds were ‘toilet trained’ but had to be taken to the bathroom every 5 minutes and put a nappy on for car journeys ‘just in case’.

There was one women who was obsessed that DD was badly behaved and kept trying to tell her DD that anything went wrong or if she had fallen it must be my DDs fault, even if she wasn’t there. Actually encouraging her to lie also. Weird jealousy thing.

My little one had no interest in eating solids. Food was a real battle. My mum’s response, after one meal time, was to tell me of her friend’s grandchild and how they were eating steak at 6months. Not puréed, but proper big lumps of meat.

Friend has told me how advanced their DC is with talking, and it’s because all of the effort they’ve put in...directly after I’ve said how mine has delays.

My MIL likes to tell me how tiny and neat her friend’s daughter’s bumps are compared to mine

I mean, I’m fucking massive but nevertheless, a weird thing for her to be a bitch about

My bump wasn't that big and some people didn't realise I was pregnant. DD came out (full term) under 5 pounds. I'd much rather have had a bigger bump!

@Mary54

Slightly more general, my MIL‘s twin sister always claimed that all of her many grandchildren were of above average intelligence. Always wondered how that affected the calculation of average

Other peoples grandchildren are below average of course! (sarcasm)