Let me hear your most ridiculous baby boasts

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

It’s going to get worse isn’t it

I’ve been on here long enough to know that babies can bring out the worst competitiveness in parents, I wasn’t expecting it to start quite so early.

Last week I had my 12 week scan, first baby. I was very nervous due to a previous loss. The sonographer thankfully let me hear the heartbeat straight away, but when she found the baby, it was very still. She got me to move around a bit to wake it up, which it eventually did, so she could get some pictures and measurements etc.

For some reason, I’d not considered they slept in there. I was jokingly telling my friend who had a baby last year, that ours was asleep when she started the scan. ‘Oh’ says my friend. ‘Ours was very active, she was jumping around all over the place, she even waved. But she’s always been very curious about everything. You’re probably going to have quite a lazy baby, I’d think.’

So there we go, at three months and still in my womb, someone has already compared my baby to their’s

Let me hear some other examples and have a laugh.

Went on holiday with DH'S cousin and d nephew, who was around 18 months old. Didn't want him to hear any other language as it might hinder his development in their native tongue. Uh huh

[quote grassisjeweled]I have a 'friend' on fbook who has a page titled '

[quote grassisjeweled]I have a 'friend' on fbook who has a page titled '

@MumsThewordw02

She used to give me 'advice' based on her clearly superior parenting. One such gem included 'have you tried talking to him so he can copy you?' when he was still without speech aged 3.

This is excellent advice. I'm writing this down. 🙄

@Karmakarmachameleon my DD was crawling - or rather slithering at 4 months. At around 6 months she started to crawl properly and also sit up. So the fact that your friends baby couldn't sit doesn' t mean they couldn't crawl.
On the other hand I know this is highly unusual and also nothing to do with parenting as such!!!

I had a gorgeous super clever baby. She I now 11 and won’t shower and her favourite toy at 9 was a potato.

Friends child was completely bilingual at 9 months

I do think pre-school and nursery reports can sometimes be the reason for parental boasts, if you don't know how to read between the lines you might think your tiny child is a genius. In DC1's at approximately age 2 we had -

1. 'Remarkable energy'. Translation - absolutely bloody exhausting.
2. 'Natural affinity with water'. Translation - keeps flooding the toilets by plugging up the sinks with hand towels.
3. A natural leader'. Translation - tells everyone what to do, even the staff.
4. 'Strong minded and independent' - if you ask her to do anything she doesn't want to, will react with fury and swiftly escalates to wetting herself in protest. Then refuses to get changed

It's very anti sugar and health obsessive around me... Nothing processed has ever touched my two year old lips... That's why they are so intelligent.

My son has autism and developmentally he is around 9 months so I can't really join in the conversations about them teaching themselves to read War and Peace or order the Acai Bowl.

Though my son is crazy cute 🤣 and has the best laugh I've ever heard

Went to visit my (then) husbands family abroad with my eldest DD who was 2 and a half. A cousin of my husband had a DD who was six months younger. As the children were playing she commented on how my DD was in nappies and that her daughter didnt wear them any more and was in pants and how all children in their country were potty trained by age 2, one comment fair enough, but she went on and on about it, at one point even laughing at my little girl and poking her nappy . A short time later her child did a poo which fell out of the leg of her pants onto the carpet and just carried on playing, clearly the child had no idea or signal and certainly wasn't toilet trained, I then pointed out that although my daughter wore nappies at least she didn't shit on her grandpa's carpet.

I used to take my son to heartbeeps from 18 months, he has a physical disability which is fairly minor but makes balance harder, so he was of course a late walker. He was also behind due to neglect, so him hitting milestones later was completely expected.

Anyway, one of the mums was the group bragger, everyone would generally just ignore her. One day I was sat next to a mum who had a child of just over 1 who wasn’t walking yet (so completely notmal), bragger mum then expressed concern that my son made be a bad influence on the other mums baby as she may copy my son and never learn to walk.

I have a rugbytots franchise and when a new child joins there are certain things we need to ask etc. One parent in all seriousness asked if their child could join the next age group up as the correct age group wouldn’t be mentally stimulating because he had such high intellect.

I knew a hippie mum who only gave her baby one toy- a handmade set of wooden blocks shaped and painted like animals. Apparently it was his favourite toy and showed just how caring he was. At 2 months old in a post on facebook he was labelled as a thoughtful baby who had a passion for fighting against animal abuse...

SimonJT - Anyway, one of the mums was the group bragger, everyone would generally just ignore her. One day I was sat next to a mum who had a child of just over 1 who wasn’t walking yet (so completely notmal), bragger mum then expressed concern that my son made be a bad influence on the other mums baby as she may copy my son and never learn to walk.

Apart from being completely slackjawed and agape - is there any adequate or shareable response to such egregious nonsense?

My eldest was walking at 9mths and talking before then. He is bright but also autistic and struggles with people and many social situations. I didn't get the chance to brag about this baby genius I had created as we were quickly shunned by the baby group when he promptly stood up at 9mths and walked across the playmat to purposefully bite the other child who was sat there.

When I was in hospital after having DC3 I was in a bed next to a woman who thought she had given birth to the longest baby in the world. She kept telling me how the carrycot would have to be returned to mothercare as there was no way her lanky child would fit in it. This was a perfectly normal 6.5lb baby . I didn't see any point in disagreeing as she was so utterly convinced she deserved an entry in the Guinness book of records.

My ex MIL used to swear that my exH's younger brother was walking at 6 months. I mean,is that even possible?

My mother tells anyone that listens that I was on weetabix at 6 weeks,was walking by 9 months,she breastfed all of us for two years (4 of us-last two twins) and it was a breeze,never used a dummy, we where all potty trained by a year as she used terry towering nappies and I was chatting away at a year old

I by contrast was an utter failure as I tried to breastfeed but it didn’t work out,weaned all of them at 6 months,I used dummies and pampers,they where all potty trained by the age of 3, all but one walked by 18 months-one finally walked at 2 and a half due to a disability and they where all normal ages when they started talking

My dad used to laugh at her behind her back and tell us it’s all utter bullshit

She did feed me for 9 months but I got ill and she had to stop-and she really struggled with it the whole time
She fed my brother for 4 months and lasted 6 weeks with twins
She did use a dummy but only when other people couldn’t see and we where weaned at 6 weeks-or at least she tried-I ended up in hospital
We where all in nappies until we hit at least two and a half and I was very slow to start talking (almost at school)

Never stopped her beating me with the ‘I did it better’ stick-every bloody choice I’ve ever made for them used to be met with ‘well,I did…’
I don’t really care…

My oldest dd (now 6) was so chilled during the scan that the doctor doing it was laughing calling her 'lazy baby'. I thought he was just making conversation until.i went back for my 20 week scan and he saw me in the waiting room and commented on how I have the laziest baby he'd scanned in years! She slept through the night when she was... 3. And doesn't stop talking or moving now. She got it out of her system early!!

When I went for my 12wk scan with this one (currently 32 weeks) it was moving around etc then the sonographer was doing measurements and it went to sleep. Scans after it's either been curled up asleep or bouncing about like its at a rave

@ScrambledSmegs haha your Dc1 sounds amazing. Reminds me of DC2 at the same age, he was also labelled
'strong minded' - he would NEVER wear his coat when they asked and told his key worker his mum would come and 'sort her out' ). She found it hilarious thankfully
Very imaginative - he came home numerous times and told me a small cut on his finger or elsewhere was due to his keyworker cutting him with the scissors/burning him with tea/he was feeding the nursery fish and it bit him. I had to inform them of everything as I was worried what he must be telling them he endures at home!

One of my friends kids was SO advanced she was potty trained at 6mos and my friend used to say she could sign when she needed the toilet , and she never wore a nappy past 6mos apparently. Fast forward 9 years she’s just had a massive tantrum and hacked all her hair off with kitchen scissors and my friend is crying about it on FaceTime earlier saying she doesn’t know what she’s done wrong. Maybe having absolutely fucked up expectations ?!!! Telling her she’s some sort of genius all the time? Just let them LIVE fgs !

Can i just say the idea of fetus waving on a 12 week scan has me actually laughing out loud, do people hear themselves, how ridiculous 😫

@Cuppachino I was called in by my daughter's new Y2 teacher saying they wanted to test her as she wouldn't (obviously thinking because she couldn't) read to her. I was totally unmoved- I knew my daughter didn't like her teacher and was just being stubborn. Sure enough she tested absolutely fine.
But I have lucked out as I have not had much experience of this competitiveness mentioned in this thread. My only recollection is my full time working friend saying once that her kids were just great at learning on their own, that they had pretty much toilet trained and self taught themselves how to use a fork and knife as she hadn't shown them how.
I was really glad her fulltme live in nanny didn't hear her say that.

These have all been amazing. I may actually use some of them to troll my friend when the baby is born to see how far she goes in one-upmanship. Could be amusing

Bumped into a friend coming out of a shop. We’d given birth just a few weeks apart. She was carrying her baby, while mine was in the pram. Sadly she couldn’t stop to chat as her baby was desperate for the toilet, wasn’t wearing a nappy, so she wanted to get her home. She was ten months old. Mine happily carried on in nappies till she was two and a half.

My baby was a wee bit behind his peers at tummy time, crawling, turning over, walking and speech. But: he was the cutest baby ever and also very advanced in growing teeth and hair!!!