Let me hear your most ridiculous baby boasts

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

It’s going to get worse isn’t it

I’ve been on here long enough to know that babies can bring out the worst competitiveness in parents, I wasn’t expecting it to start quite so early.

Last week I had my 12 week scan, first baby. I was very nervous due to a previous loss. The sonographer thankfully let me hear the heartbeat straight away, but when she found the baby, it was very still. She got me to move around a bit to wake it up, which it eventually did, so she could get some pictures and measurements etc.

For some reason, I’d not considered they slept in there. I was jokingly telling my friend who had a baby last year, that ours was asleep when she started the scan. ‘Oh’ says my friend. ‘Ours was very active, she was jumping around all over the place, she even waved. But she’s always been very curious about everything. You’re probably going to have quite a lazy baby, I’d think.’

So there we go, at three months and still in my womb, someone has already compared my baby to their’s

Let me hear some other examples and have a laugh.

That gave me a laugh. A nurse on my ward was pregnant with me. She said she could feel her baby move at 14 weeks, knew it was breach at 17 weeks and kept nagging me about my nursery theme. In the end I said the theme was BABY AND COT IN THE CORNER WE DON'T USE 🤣

Slightly more general, my MIL‘s twin sister always claimed that all of her many grandchildren were of above average intelligence. Always wondered how that affected the calculation of average

Omg this thread is brilliant! I love mental people and how competitive they are! They'd have a field day with my boy, 2 next month and refuses to walk unaided (taken some steps but now refuses to walk unless holding both hands lol). Also only says mum and dad, no other words. But the most beautiful adorable little boy :).

@Crayfishforyou

My MIL should win a prize. Apparently DH was speaking in French fluently at 10 months old. He went to France for a weekend when he was 8 months old and it stuck And he was the PERFECT child, he never threw tantrums EVER. He would get upset because he was so advanced he got frustrated.

I’ve learnt to switch it off now when she gets going but on the occasions my DM has been in her company she’s

My MIL could give her a run for her money!

Apparently my DH slept through from birth and never even babbled. He just went straight to speaking in sentences as a baby.

@vampirethriller

A woman I know told me that her 9 month old could ask for the receipt in shops.

If dd did this it would be in order to eat it.

My friend has a little girl and she text me saying that's she was walking before she could even walk... actual words btw
I went round expecting to see a miracle (pre COVID) because she was only 8 months old... she was in a baby Walker just staring into space dribbling everywhere 😂😂
I couldn't help but laugh but she is very cute so I did have to congratulate her on her very talented amazing child 😉
My child was a very late Walker and she always brings this up in comparison

My DS was an early walker (in my eyes anyway) walking at 9 months. Was my first so I had nothing to compare to but a friend said "oh mine walked at 6 months"

A friend boasting about her baby having his first tooth way earlier than his peers. What a clever baby (eye roll)

When I was light heartedly telling my sister that DD at 14 months can't walk yet and is lagging behind nursery pals she said that her friend's baby is so developmentally advanced in every way, from walking to talking, that they were genuinely worried about him. I laughed.

I might be the tooth mum! DS had two teeth come through at 3 months old, I used to mention it as part of conversation and joke that he had grown them early on purpose because he was desperate for a sandwich. Now I'm worried that people thought I was being serious!

I have a friend who's super competitive with her DD.

She's exactly 1 month older than my DD and it's hilarious sometimes. She's one of those that posts e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g on social media. Some of the things she will post amaze me. Everything I get or do, she has to do the exact same thing! It used to drive me up the wall but now I laugh and try to see it as a compliment.

My mum has my DD every Tuesday night and she knows this, so the other day she posted on Facebook and said "My daughter is my everything, I definitely won't be letting anyone have her overnight until she's at least 4" she's 13 months now. Each to their own but it's always a little dig at me. It's very boring now but still funny.

I’ve thought of another one! I don’t the mum that well (girlfriend of husband’s friend) but she had her baby about two months after mine. Mine was quite slow to roll and move but slept well (probably why) and her baby was a dreadful sleeper and very restless in the day.

She said, in all seriousness, that her baby didn’t sleep because he couldn’t resist her magical boobs (seriously) whereas as I was ‘only’ formula feeding my baby could obviously wait to eat until the morning. I was still a really new mum then but it made me laugh rather than upset me. And oh how I laughed.

I have a 1yo and pride myself on never having been a competitive parent. Good job really as DS has been very average in hitting milestones (some would say slow!) but he’s a cheerful little chubster and that’s what matters.

I personally love a good ‘Talulah said her first word at 8 months, they say early talkers have higher IQ’s you know’ kinda conversations. The only way to respond is ‘Oh I don’t know, my (insert random relation) did that and they’re in prison now’

I was in the doctors waiting room a couple of years ago, my DD was 2 and had a teletubby toy with her. I was chatting away to DD but she didn't say a lot, was a late developer with talking.

A woman sat nearby made sure I heard her DD of a similar age say that's LaaLaa, which is fine. But then she started telling me how big her vocabulary was, how many thousands of words she knows which is soooo far ahead for her age. Asking me how well my DD could talk...

I just don't understand why would you bother bragging to a complete stranger!

One thing that’s quite interesting is that all the baby books seem to overestimate how long it will take most babies to do stuff

I honestly thought my DD was an absolute wonder because she’s a lockdown baby so I haven’t had much to compare her to.... until friends who had babies at the same time who also thought their babies are absolute wonders but it’s that our babies are doing the same stuff at the same time, ahead of when the books say they’ll do it

I assume they write the books like that so parents don’t totally freak out that month 8 has passed and their baby hasn’t rolled over yet etc

No, baby books are usually based on evidence around what age a child usually does something. Mine for example gives a range of what’s normal and when to worry. Similar to what a GP, health visitor or paediatrician would use.

It could be that your and your friends’ babies all coincidentally are doing things early... or it could be that a fair few are exaggerating or fibbing a bit due to insecurity and worrying theirs is the one left behind. It can be very difficult in a parent group when everyone else is saying their baby is walking to pipe up that yours isn’t. Just takes two or three to all say their baby is meeting milestones on the early side of normal for others to feel they should say the same. Statistically you won’t all have early milestone babies!

Having said that if you are curious about milestones and ages it’s better to consult the NHS pages than any one baby book as you know it’s based on evidence.

I didn't do NCT as lots of my (very normal and sensible) friends had babies around the same time, so nothing to contribute but I do love reading these. My friends are all pretty laid back and know kids do things in their own time (whilst obviously being proud and sharing their big moments). We're a pretty non-competitive bunch.

“I might be the tooth mum! DS had two teeth come through at 3 months old, “

Me too. Both my DC got their first teeth at three months. Although, when breastfeeding, its more a reason for complaining than boasting

A friend once suggested my son was colourblind because he didn't pick up the correct colour ball when asked.

He was about a year old.

Oops, I used to mention my son being advanced at growing teeth early. But it really was a joke lol

I contracted in this big bank full of very bright people...30 years ago.

One of the women kept telling me how her 9 month old baby was so EXCITED at her pregnancy of her second child. She was about 5 months pregnant.

She kept mentioning it....again and again..

I was childless at the time and didn't know anything about babies really but......but she kept going on and on about it.🙄

I went out of my way with friends to check it out as I was so confused with what she was telling me....like a 9 month old was telling her🙄

Freak🙄

She said she could feel her baby move at 14 weeks

I could feel DC4 moving from around 13wks if she was moving around in the right spot and I was paying attention to it, just flutters and wriggles at first then kicks by around 16wks.

My babies first word was crocodile 😂

My mother in law told me her daughter was potty trained at 3 months! Yes 3 months, she held her over the potty apparently lol