My new neighbour is a convicted murderer

[murdernextdoor]

Have recently found out from another neighbour further up the street that my new next door neighbour has spent 4 years in prison for man slaughter of another man. I was sceptical so I googled his name. I saw all the newspaper articles about him. He had a fight and killed another man.
Don't know the reasons for the fight but I can't help but wonder if it was one of those cases of a one punch kill. Or maybe he stamped his head?

I am horrified that this man lives next to me. I now don't want my children to mix with his children anymore. I know some will say he's done his time, but imagine if it was your son he killed? It makes me sick to my stomach.

Should someone have notified us in some way about him moving there? Or maybe not as he's done his time and isn't a sex offender.

AIBU or would you be horrified as well? AIBU to tell my children to stay away from the house altogether. (I know it's covid now but I'm thinking in the future)

@OhWhyNot

But I guess you haven’t been in prison for manslaughter

If you have people would treat you differently why the pretence they wouldn’t

People are fearful of those that have committed violent crimes even if it was a mistake (one punch situation) they are still wary that things went that far and could that happen again

On a weekend when so much discussion has been about male aggression and so many turn on a poster who is fearful of man who has been convicted of manslaughter you couldn’t make it up

Her fear didn't become apparent until way into the thread. And even then she's afraid to confront him about made up scenarios that didn't happen. In the beginning it was all about shunning his kids. How are they at fault?

No one said she should be friendly or even civil to him. No one said invite him over. No one said she has to let her kids in their house. But playing in the street? At some point in the future?

She won't give details of the actual incident, changed her story several times and is trying to manipulate the story . This is the reason why posters are objecting.

[quote FelicityMingington]@Bleughbleughbleugh12

I’d be wary but not too worried as a PP said at least it wasn’t a woman

What are you talking about? This is a shocking thing to say.[/quote]
Because I am a woman.... if that counts for anything.

If he is living with his kids then he can't be seen as a major serious threat. I can understand the shock of finding out this news about someone, but I dont think its right to hold it against his children especially. He has done his time, it could have been an awful accident on his part. It would be a big difference if he had actual intent to murder, but the fact he went down for manslaughter suggests that maybe wasn't the case? Or he had a really good lawyer who helped him get manslaughter instead of murder. Who really knows. The fact he is with his kids says a lot imo.

If it makes you so uncomfortable then move away.

I wouldn’t want a man with anger issues and a tendency to get pissed and fight outside pubs living next door to me. However, I also object to histrionic posts calling people convicted murderers when that is not what they were convicted of and not what they are. Presumably, if it was a fight outside a pub, there was a certain amount of provocation on both sides. Whether 4 years in prison taught him not to lose his temper so easily and not to brawl outside pubs, time is likely to tell. If he is living back with his children and wife, social services presumably think this is acceptable.

Don’t blame you OP, I wouldn’t be thrilled either. I don’t care if someone has “done their time”, when it comes to something so serious, they’re not owed anything from the general public.

As the child of a convicted criminal I find your comments about not wanting your children playing with his children disgusting. Those poor children. Thank god my friends parents weren't such horrible snobs or I'd have gone through life with no friends through no fault of my own.

Where as I don’t think you’re unreasonable to be concerned about having him next door, I think you’re wholly unreasonable to be speculating if he stamped on his head.

OP, so when people receive a custodial sentence and serve their time, what do you think should happen to them when their sentences have been served.

Should they be kept in prison forever?
Should they be forced to live in designated areas and wear a sign?
Should their children be shunned by everyone and not allowed to make friends?

Seems like your only issue is not wanting this man living next door to you.

Who do you think it would be acceptable for him to live next door to?

@Naunet actually, people who have served their time are entitled to go about their lives in the same fashion as everybody else, and are entitled to the same quality of life as the rest of the general public.

Loads of criminals round here. Some of them are killers but most are sex offenders. I just choose not to mix with them. Most people just mind their own business anyway so it's not something I ever think about.

@sunflowersandbuttercups

He's obviously got no regard for human life that's for sure. You don't just die from a fight unless one persons takes it too far.

Of course you can. All it takes is for someone to hit the wrong spot, or to land in the wrong place/at the wrong angle and that's it.

Yes a couple of years ago outside an Asda, some poor guy was punched by someone who thought he shouldn’t be using a disabled parking space -only one punch and it killed him 😥

@Waxonwaxoff0

As the child of a convicted criminal I find your comments about not wanting your children playing with his children disgusting. Those poor children. Thank god my friends parents weren't such horrible snobs or I'd have gone through life with no friends through no fault of my own.

here here-how its anything to do with the kids i dont know

This would absolutely concern me deeply, OP, and I don't believe that it wouldn't concern other people. This is the land of people who never answer the door or use toilet brushes, after all.

I wouldn't stop the kids playing together outside or in my house (when rules allow) if they wanted to (I wouldn't actively encourage it as I'd normally do), but I absolutely wouldn't want them going into his house or ever being with him unattended.

He's capable of killing when he's angry enough and I really wouldn't care if it was intentional or not. He either knows how to kill or he doesn't know how not to. It's absolutely not a risk I'd take.

I wouldn't want my kids around him, no.

@DrSbaitso we are all capable of killing when we are angry enough.

[quote RoseRedRoseBlue]@DrSbaitso we are all capable of killing when we are angry enough.[/quote]
Speak for yourself

[quote RoseRedRoseBlue]@DrSbaitso we are all capable of killing when we are angry enough.[/quote]
I do not believe that that entirely theoretical and unprovable statement is true. At any rate, someone who has proven they can is a demonstrably greater risk than someone who hasn't.

I can accept that it might be a wrongful conviction and he should have been acquitted entirely on the grounds of self defence, or for some other reason. That's entirely possible.

But it's not something I'm prepared to bet my children's safety on. Whatever happened, the evidence presented was enough to convince a jury that this was not solely self defence and he deserved a conviction. I'm aware of the difference between murder and manslaughter, but the guy is just as dead either way. If he has a manslaughter conviction, he's never ever being left alone with my kids. The injury to his pride or feelings is entirely worth paying. I'm not taking that risk. Kids can play together but they are not going anywhere alone with him.

I'm also absolutely not buying that most MNers would be totally fine with this. The place erupts in horror at the concept of Christmas Eve boxes, answering the door to strangers and changing your bed sheets every two weeks. Yes, I know that's not every individual poster but if you look at it at a cultural level, there's a degree of dissonance here. That he deserves to be a free man now, sure. That they would have no problems whatsoever living next door to him? No. Not buying it for one second.

Yabu. I went to school with a lad, he did the same got into a fight and the other man died. He went to prison. He didn’t mean to do it. We’ve never stopped being friends with him. It was 30 odd years ago now. He’s a lovely man with a lovely family.

I feel like this hasn’t gone the way OP was expecting I doubt she’ll be back!

@DrSbaitso I genuinely would not have a problem living next door to him. I live opposite drug dealers. Anyway, you wouldn't have much choice unless you moved house. You can't force him to move!

Would I let my child anywhere alone with him? No. But then I would not let my child be alone with any man outside of my own family, murderer or not.

Sorry OP but gossiping clearly has been going on here and it’s he said... she told me.

How did you know the mans surname? I wouldn’t think to google someone who I thought may be a bit odd.

Who exactly would you like to notify you? about the mans history?

[quote Waxonwaxoff0]@DrSbaitso I genuinely would not have a problem living next door to him. I live opposite drug dealers. Anyway, you wouldn't have much choice unless you moved house. You can't force him to move!

Would I let my child anywhere alone with him? No. But then I would not let my child be alone with any man outside of my own family, murderer or not.[/quote]
I saw your earlier post, so I can absolutely understand why you would feel differently to most.

But I don't believe the majority of people on this site, or in real life, would be fine with it and not in any way uncomfortable. Indeed, he is a free man and can live where he likes; that's not the issue. OP wants to know if she's being unreasonable to be unhappy about that happening to be next door to her. She patently isn't unreasonable and most of us on here would feel the same. There's a lot of crap on here.

OP are you going to sell your house ?

There are lots of people, nearly all men, out there with short tempers, lots who get into fights at the weekend with alcohol involved, some look for trouble, others trouble finds them, lots who are capable of being in the same position but haven't been due to luck that it didn't go that far or they didn't throw an unlucky punch.

The advantage of your next door neighbour over someone similar is he is now fully aware of, and has to live with, the consequences and hopefully doesn't want to go back there.

Where on earth do you think a person who has served their sentence should live?

Why involve the children in their parents offence?