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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
strudsespark · 14/03/2021 21:28

What money grabbing, selfish partner you've got Sad.

If you plan on keeping him after he has shown you just who he is, please make him pay for

The use of your furniture
The air he breathes in your vicinity
Every bit of food and snacks
Use of toilet and loo roll
Etc, etc, etc.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 14/03/2021 21:30

@Ringshanks

I am a tradesperson (carpentry and kitchen fitting) and do not ‘round up’ part hours I charge for what I worked. When I employ assistants I pay them for the time they work up to the nearest 15 mins . If he’s calling himself a ‘tradesperson’ and charging as such he should also be declaring his earnings . If he refuses to play fair with your mum I’d remind him that she’d be within her rights to HMRC a call .
That warning about HMRC is a good one.
Thedarksideofthemoon30 · 14/03/2021 21:30

God he sounds like my abusive ex husband..

fluffysocks89 · 14/03/2021 21:30

Who charges travelling time anyway. My dh would go to jobs out of town but he never expected anyone to pay his travelling time.Just glad to get the work.

Flowers24 · 14/03/2021 21:31

He shouldn't be charging at all!

Kitkat151 · 14/03/2021 21:31

Your partner sounds vile....why are you with someone who want to rip off your parents? My partner does loads of jobs for my Mum...he never charged her a penny for ....we are family....and family look out for each other......lcouldn’t live with someone like your partner.....your poor Mum and Dad...get rid now

BlueJag · 14/03/2021 21:33

It isn't unusual to charge £125 per day even more for a painter decorator. Bad idea to do it per hour. Our handy man charges £15 per hour. I think it needs to be seen as a job not count the actual hours.

FlyingBurrito · 14/03/2021 21:37

I don't think the principle of charging is necessarily wrong but your partner is a lying cheating scumbag to be trying to rip off a relative. You have pretty much overall agreement with this so please listen to everyone and think about your relationship seriously

This is ripe for being picked up by the media so I hope you've changed some details

KatherineJaneway · 14/03/2021 21:38

@OhCaptain

Jesus! My DH would never charge my mam for work!
Agree
CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/03/2021 21:39

Of course you could very easily shop both of them to HMRC. Are either claiming any benefits?

Your dp is a lying, cheeky fucker. Tradesman indeed! He's doing his gf a favour and is acting like he's got a professional reputation to protect.

Orchidflower1 · 14/03/2021 21:39

He sounds nasty and money grabbing. I’d be packing him off on the train home with his dad.

How long have you been together?

wewereliars · 14/03/2021 21:40

He's telling you who he is OP, listen.

Justthoughts · 14/03/2021 21:40

You are right to question this and stand your ground. That is really cheeky of him! To treat your mum like that is disgusting of him frankly.

My partner just spent the last few weekends plastering, painting and laying new carpets on two floors for my grandma for free. Not only that, but we also paid all of the materials for it, because he wanted to do a nice thing for her and help her out.
Wouldn't be able to look at my partner the same way again, if he tried to do my mum that way.

bobsandbits · 14/03/2021 21:40

He's not a nice person.
Where are his morals.
What do you see in him ?

RestingPandaFace · 14/03/2021 21:45

You should definitely tell your Mum, because he is your DO she won’t even question the cost. She trusts him because of you and he is using her to rip him off.

The amount of time he’s taken to do the job is a bit of a pisstake.
Charging travel if it wasn’t agreed in advance is a pisstake
Rounding up is absolute cheeky fucker territory.

MercurytoLibra · 14/03/2021 21:45

@Lleeaahh1992

I will just feel guilty towards my mum if i dont say anything and knowingly let him do it. I know it is going to cause issues between me and him if i dont let it drop but im really angry but then at the same time i dont know if i should let it go as he has helped with bits for free a while back. He told me its normal for tradesmen to charge for the hour even if they only work 10 minutes or half an hour out of it i dont know how true this is. I only started keeping track of the start and finish times as on the first day he done 9 hours and said well i have earned 100 pound upto now as ill just charge for the 10 hour day because i have done loads an i said no you cant do that. So i have kept track since then.
I work with trades people a lot and generally it’s rounded up in 15 minutes increments. So finishing at half past would only be paid for the half hour worked.

You shouldn’t be paying travel unless agreed before hand.

Your partner is being a very very CF

MuthaFunka61 · 14/03/2021 21:46

I'm presuming he's not including his lunch and tea breaks in the hours he's charging for,or is he?

Nasty piece of work you've got on your hands OP,show him the door.

Cherryberrypie · 14/03/2021 21:46

If you have a joint account, draw out £30 cash back every time you shop. Squirrel it away until you have enough to cover the over charge, then give it back to your mum on her birthday with a big bouquet of flowers.

Then show your partner the door and push him out of it.

ProfessorPootle · 14/03/2021 21:49

We run construction businesses, we have some workers who disappear off early and still expect to be paid the hours they were supposed to work. We pay what they actually do. No one pays extra 30mins here and there, your dh is a cf to charge anything for family but he definitely shouldn’t be charging for time he didn’t work.

Okbussitout · 14/03/2021 21:50

God this is awful. What type of work does he do normally is he self employed? I ask because I don't actually think it is normal to charge for an hour if you work 10 mins of it at the end of a job. You might round up overall if you did several 10 mins extra on one job.

But the bigger issue here is how you can be with somone who will rip your mum off. How's your relationship normally?

okokok000 · 14/03/2021 21:55

@TwoMuchTwoYoung

Wow. I’m shocked anyone would even consider charging their partners mum £10 an hour! Shame on him.
This with bells on!
Bettysnow · 14/03/2021 21:56

Honestly op you seriously need to stick up for your poor mum and stand your ground! No difference between this pair and and those cowboy scammers who fleece the elderly!

Throwntothewolves · 14/03/2021 22:02

Tell him you're actually paying as your mum is struggling a bit just now (doesn't matter that you're not), see what he says then.
You said you know there will be issues between you if you dont let it drop, but there already are issues because of his outrageous behaviour! Most people would do this for their partners mother either for free, or the cost of materials and be grateful for anything else she offers them. Or just not do it at all if they don't want to. He has seen an opportunity to scam an older lady, and is massively disrespecting you too in the process.
Pay him what he agreed with your mum, no more, and show him the door

JamieFrasersAuntie · 14/03/2021 22:03

Why were YOU ok with your mum paying your scummy boyfriend professional rates in the first place?

i can't believe you're asking if you should stay out of it or let him rip your mum off. You sound scummy too tbh.

Mydogmylife · 14/03/2021 22:03

@wewereliars

He's telling you who he is OP, listen.
This