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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
Parentpower20 · 14/03/2021 19:50

£10 an hour seems incredibly cheap to me for this kind of work so I can’t see how he was trying to cheat her.

Adios2011 · 14/03/2021 19:50

I'm partner wouldn't dream of charging my mum and I wouldn't let him anyway!

He's not even a real trader but thinks he can charge the same and no way should he be charging the full hour for doing 10 mins!
Fair enough if he was turning now work to help, but he's not

And helping your mum dismantle some furniture is not free work, it's helping out family!

RevolutionRadio · 14/03/2021 19:50

Is the work completed, if not I'd tell him to stop and get some one else in.

You might pay more but it's going to stop her being ripped off by family.

Thehop · 14/03/2021 19:50

He’s massively taking the piss. This is not normal tradesman practice AT ALL

What’s his normal job?

Adios2011 · 14/03/2021 19:50

My partner *

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:51

The job altogether is going to come to about 800 plus just over 200 for the materials. I dont think he should be charging for his dads travel as he didnt actually need his dad to do it with him once it was established the plastering had been done. They originally told my mum it could end up being upto 1400 with the plastering so 7 lots of 10 hour days but it has come to less with the plastering already being done and his dad only working 3 days out the 7 and his dad only worked 6.5 hours, 5.5 hours and another 5.5 hours. He told me that his dad wanted to bill my mum for the whole 10 hour day on the 3 days he worked, i hit the roof and said not a chance, and then his face dropped and he said well im not actually going to but i am charging for his travel as he has spent loads on travel. I said that wasnt agreed and you both knew the travel that would be involved when you arranged it with your dad and if your going to be charging that she may aswell of hired someone local. Im so angry.

OP posts:
TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 14/03/2021 19:51

Hmm, I was sort of the fence as thought well, maybe in his trades day job he’d charge £20 an hour or whatever and it is usual to charge for the full hour. However, I’d expect my partner to be more lenient with my parents.

But then you said it isn’t even his job! He’s just good at painting! FFS, he is absolutely taking the piss.

AfternoonToffee · 14/03/2021 19:51

He is pretty much at the top of the CF scale, he isn't a business, he is pretty much doing it for 'beer money', so no need for the tradesman talk, and it is highly unusual for them to charge travel. (Usually agreed before hand if so)

No wonder you are hurt and upset.

WilsonMilson · 14/03/2021 19:52

Why is this man your partner? I couldn’t be with anyone who ripped off my mum like that. Awful.

Cloudfrost · 14/03/2021 19:52

He isn't a tradesman tho, so it's irrelevant if they charge for a full hours work. Also professionals declare their earnings, which I assume he isn't gonna be doing?

Wattagoose90 · 14/03/2021 19:52

A) he's not a skilled tradesman
B) he's going back on the terms initially agreed to
C) No ordinary person would take advantage of elderly family. You help because you love the family, not play them for a few extra quid.

If he was a skilled tradesman and someone you'd employed, would you stand by whilst your mum was ripped off and not say anything?

Idbemonica1 · 14/03/2021 19:53

If he can afford not to he shouldn't be charging at all. Sounds like he is robbing your poor Mum blind.

XiCi · 14/03/2021 19:53

What a horrible boyfriend you have there. Most people would help decorate their partners parents place for free just whenever they had some spare time. That's why they're called 'love jobs'. Your poor mum, even without them ripping her off on the times, has spent £20 an hour for a couple of unqualified blokes to do some painting . Bet they took loads longer than they needed to as well. And if someone told me to keep out of it when I brought up that they had ripped my mum off I would have nothing more to do them. Seriously, how can you be with someone that would treat your mum and dad like that. Doesn't sound like they have much money either with your mum being your dad's carer. Shameful

Daphnise · 14/03/2021 19:53

Look this is difficult, but just let your Mum pay (help her if needed) and NEVER use him again. Don't explain just never use him for your Mum.

That's a practical solution- imperfect I know, but probably better than a big argument.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/03/2021 19:53

How embarrassing for you, being tied to such an arse.

Bourbonic · 14/03/2021 19:54

Hello! Ex tradie here and now spend my time designing, quoting and billing.

Norm is to charge the full half hour, not the full hour. Some will charge in quarter hour segments instead.

However, if my husband suggested charging my mother to do some painting I'd be livid. Why on earth is she being charged??

BrownEyedGirl80 · 14/03/2021 19:54

Jesus.Dh has done loads of jobs for my parents and never charged them he wouldn't dream of it

Theunamedcat · 14/03/2021 19:54

He wants the 1400 except this wasn't the deal THAT was for plaster AND paint is he just painting walls? Why hasn't he finished?

IveNameChangedAgain2020 · 14/03/2021 19:55

Pay and then DUMP him. What a shitbag. I'm sorry OP but if my partner did that to my mum I'd see him in such a different light I just wouldn't be able to respect him again. Additionally what job ever pays you to get to and from it. Everything your mum has gone through and your DP thinks he can do that to her? Wtaf?

XiCi · 14/03/2021 19:55

That's a practical solution- imperfect I know, but probably better than a big argument
Or you could tell the cheeky twat who's stealing from your mums pockets to fuck off and not darken your doorstep again. A man that would rip off your own mother is not worth keeping

GreenlandTheMovie · 14/03/2021 19:55

I have never paid a tradesman for travel! Its factored into the cost!

Your DP sounds very money-oriented.

Adios2011 · 14/03/2021 19:56

How on earth is it only £200 for materials and £800 for what the labour for painting a house by someone who happens to be good at painting?

Seriously how can you be with this man? I feel so angry for your Mum, especially as she is quite vulnerable

Chanjer · 14/03/2021 19:57

I don't disagree particularly with charging a family member for work but I'd keep it to the hours worked rather than imagining some industry standard for an industry I don't even work in

XiCi · 14/03/2021 19:57

What exactly have they painted OP for £800. How many rooms and how big?

Comefromaway · 14/03/2021 19:57

@Lleeaahh1992

I will just feel guilty towards my mum if i dont say anything and knowingly let him do it. I know it is going to cause issues between me and him if i dont let it drop but im really angry but then at the same time i dont know if i should let it go as he has helped with bits for free a while back. He told me its normal for tradesmen to charge for the hour even if they only work 10 minutes or half an hour out of it i dont know how true this is. I only started keeping track of the start and finish times as on the first day he done 9 hours and said well i have earned 100 pound upto now as ill just charge for the 10 hour day because i have done loads an i said no you cant do that. So i have kept track since then.
It’s only normal at the end of the job if it’s finished.

Eg if we go on a call out to fix a boiler and it takes 2.5 hours the customer will be charged for 3 hours. We’ve found out through the trackers that lads have routinely left jobs early and so they’ve had that docked. (They are hourly paid)

Travel time in our trade is only paid if it’s more than 15 miles away and then it’s a nominal amount. Hourly rate on travel time is paid for a client who is more than 50 miles away.