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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 15/03/2021 12:51

@sausagerollcake

£10 an hour for a decorator is mega cheap. She would have had to pay a lot more for it to be done professionally.

But he does also sound like a bell end.

So pay him, thank him and dump him.

Well yeah, but a professional would have done it quicker and to a higher standard.
Lacucuracha · 15/03/2021 12:59

Yes but he's not a decorator, he's doing it as a favour, it's not his trade

He still needs paying.

notacooldad · 15/03/2021 13:00

I think being told to "keep out of it' when I've expressed an opinion to a dp on how he is treating this situation would be enough for me to see red flags never mind everything else!

FuckyouCovid21 · 15/03/2021 13:03

@Lacucuracha

Yes but he's not a decorator, he's doing it as a favour, it's not his trade

He still needs paying.

Yeah if he insists on it but he shouldn't be trying to rip OP's mum off or make a profit
ThatsNotTheTeaHunty · 15/03/2021 13:08

You need to tell your mum.

'He did stuff for free a while back' sorry but he dismantled furniture for your mum who is a carer for your bed bound dad...
Who in their right mind would even charge someone family for that.
It's daylight robbery he might as well go through her purse.

Ollie0123 · 15/03/2021 13:08

Personally, I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who would so willingly rip my parents off.
They agreed on a price based on different work that then wasn’t carried out.
I would step in for my mum in this instance. Pay your ‘partner’ for only the hours he worked and his dad the hours he worked- no travel. This wasn’t agreed beforehand. I’ve never known any tradesmen to add their travelling expenses on- it doesn’t work like that!
Then I would tell him to Sling his hook. He is taking advantage of your parents and doesn’t seem like a very nice person at in. In my opinion.

Lacucuracha · 15/03/2021 13:09

Yeah if he insists on it but he shouldn't be trying to rip OP's mum off or make a profit

Yes, OP should pay what she thinks is fair for the work done.

WisnaeMe · 15/03/2021 13:15

OP isn't coming back

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/03/2021 13:15

[quote donewithitalltodayandxmas]@OhCaptain the op has no problem with her partner charging its the fact he is overcharging
So wether your family do for free is irrelevant really , she asked is he wrong for charging hrs nor worked
What your great family do is irrelevant and doesn't give you a right to call others greedy fuckers , expecting work for free is also entitled so you would expect a family member to do a weeks worth of work for not a single penny and who is selfish [/quote]
THIS ^

OP and OP's mum were quoted a price that included plastering, which the boyfriend's dad was going to do. Plastering is skilled work and it is very time consuming, so let's assume half the money was for that (£700). Price included materials. The b/f wasn't asked or pressured to do it - he OFFERED. The price was for the job - b/f estimated hours required, presumably. Nothing was said about travelling expenses.

As it happened, the plastering wasn't needed - so the only work charged for should have been the painting and a bit of "making good" (£700).

Therefore, that's all that should have been charged for - but they want the full £1400 plus travel costs.

Maybe the b/f underestimated how long it would take. That's his fault. this is a vulnerable person and he is trying to rip her off.

THAT'S GREED!

Tiktaktoe · 15/03/2021 13:26

So it was going to be up to 1400 when it included plastering. Now it's 1400 even without the plastering?
He's a chancer! Charge family for a job, no problem but anyone who would overcharge family is a dick.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 15/03/2021 13:46

@donewithitalltodayandxmas

So all of you expecting that family should do free work and a large amount If your family member works as a cleaner would you expect them to come and clean your house For free ? Surely thats the same thing as if your bil is a tradesmen and expecting them to work for free
You seem very defensive, no wonder if you treat your family the same way as the OP's other half.
Somethingkindaoooo · 15/03/2021 17:30

[quote donewithitalltodayandxmas]@Somethingkindaoooo it was his sibling not son and it was 100 hrs worth of work
Not all tradesmen can afford to goi doing work for all the family for free
I find it strange that so many on here would expect a family member to come and do work for free
My dh saved his sibling well over a thousand pounds than if he had got someone else and it wash't something they could do or just a bit of diy
Also its really none of your business anyway [/quote]
Ds is normally read as son, not sibling.

Ohdobequiet · 15/03/2021 17:33

What scum

FireflyRainbow · 15/03/2021 17:40

If my bf of 6 years dared charge my mum for stuff like that I'd be fuming. His dads a gardener and does our garden and has never charged. I'm an ex hairdresser and cut their hair when visiting and wouldn't dream of charging. I don't understand some families nowadays.

FireflyRainbow · 15/03/2021 17:44

My brothers a painter and decorator and painted my whole house when I moved in. I paid for the supplies, cooked him dinner and brought him a present, though he told me not to! Your partners an utter scumbag.

finished31 · 15/03/2021 18:00

My DH is always doing little jobs for our elderly NEIGHBOURS.

They buy him a bottle as they appreciate him. As much as it not needed it's their way of thank you.

He's stopped they paying 'silly prices' from some cheeky twats because they are vulnerable.

Your DP is beyond disgusting and I bet he's ate several free dinners from your DM over the years!

MumInBrussels · 15/03/2021 18:02

Does he owe someone £1400 he doesn't have? That's the only possible reason I can think of for being this much of a thieving bastard and trying to get the original agreed on sum that he in no way deserves, not least because there's been no plastering, which would have been included in that 1400.

So, if I were you OP, I'd ask him why he needs this money badly enough to try and cheat your mum. Hopefully, if he doesn't actually need the money, it might make him rethink what an utter bastard he's being.

madmara · 15/03/2021 18:11

There is so much wrong here.

I don't think he should charge anything but if he must:

  1. He's saying that tradesmen charge this way but tradesmen are qualified, insured and pay tax. Do any of those apply to him?
  2. He gave a quote for the work and now he is overcharging.
  3. Travel expenses for his dad? Is he having a laugh? Who gets paid to travel to their place of work?

I would break up with him over this.

junebirthdaygirl · 15/03/2021 19:37

Haven't read the whole thread but he is a right money grabber. To think of your poor mum caring for your bedridden dad and this chance robbing her. If you hired someone from outside who did that we would be totally shocked not to talk of her own dds partner.
I hope the tax man knows all about this nicer and fleeced him

FreddyTheFlute · 15/03/2021 19:43

I bet your mum asked him because she tho if ht he could be trusted as practically family. And she agreed to be ripped off because she doesn't want to upset you.

Do you have to stay with him? He sounds an utter wanker.

junebirthdaygirl · 15/03/2021 19:44

Nixer!

Mylovelyhorsee · 15/03/2021 20:15

Op he’s the boyfriend that looks at porn even though that’s a huge breach of trust for you? What a gem he is.

Hydrate · 15/03/2021 21:01

[quote donewithitalltodayandxmas]@Exhausted4ever its more than a bit if painting its over 80 hrs worth , but he seems to want to charge more than the hrs worked that is the issue
He agreed a price and he should stick to that , its why tradesmen rarely charge bu the hr, its better to give a whole job price then everyone knows where they stand [/quote]
My entire family discussed this thread ha ha, usually they don't care about my mumsnet chat. We all agree the dp is a scumbag to ask for pro prices and not have a pre agreed price. He did more work than one would expect as a favour, but a decent human being would not try to make profit from gf's parents, and give mates rates.

Next time you may want to negotiate any work for your parents and an agreed upon flat rate.

Cokie3 · 15/03/2021 21:32

OP, you don't sound anywhere near furious, you sound tepid, luke warm. I would be FUCKING LIVID! I would demand he charge her 600 MAXIMUM. I would also tell him I would be telling her the truth about what he is doing, and saying you will personally make sure that not only will your mother NOT pay the bill, but you will expose him on Facebook, AND that your relationship with him is O.V.E.R.

He is a maggot, a grub who is SCAMMING your mother! Where is your backbone? Get your angry woman's pants on read that fucking scumbag maggot the RIOT ACT! 600 MAXIMUM. Or, you will expose him to her and Facebook/the town you and him/and his dad lives in.

DO NOT under ANY circumstances let him get away with this. She is your MOTHER! She and your father are frail, you NEED to be their defender, their advocate against scamming maggots like your partner. He needs to be gone from your life, and your mother needs to know the truth about how that maggot is scamming her. He is NOT your partner, he does NOT love you, he is USING you and your mother for money. For goodness sake, STOP HIM!! And kick him back to the sewer where he belongs!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/03/2021 07:38

@FreddyTheFlute

I bet your mum asked him because she tho if ht he could be trusted as practically family. And she agreed to be ripped off because she doesn't want to upset you.

Do you have to stay with him? He sounds an utter wanker.

No-one asked him Freddy - which makes it even worse.

In the opening post OP says he offered. he wanted this job - say a way to male some money out of a vulnerable person who wouldn't make a fuss about being ripped off, and would just pay up.

OP's mum waited weeks for him to even get round to it, For the same price (or less), she could have had a professional in, get a proper job done in half the time, and been able to just sit and enjoy her newly decorated home.

Poor woman has enough on her plate without an *rsehole robbing her blind!

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