Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
Tinydinosaur · 14/03/2021 22:03

Your "partner " is fucking vile. I'd be fuming if my husband even considered charging my mum to do a favour like that.
Painting? It's easy, certainly not 10 quid an hour for an amateur work. They've taken her for a ride and of course she's not going to feel like she can refuse. Repulsive little men. God I'd be so ashamed.

Megan2018 · 14/03/2021 22:03

How on earth can you be in a relationship with someone so dishonest? Appalling. Tell you mother and ditch the nasty piece of work. He’s horrendous.
My Mum paid her cousin to fit her kitchen, he is a professional fitter and she paid the going hourly rate but with a bit of a discount off the total, but that’s for professional work and she was charged honestly. We have no issue with this as it was better than using a random with my mum living alone etc. and the work is of a very high standard.
So charging family isn’t always wrong, but in this instance it’s dishonest.

mumofone2019 · 14/03/2021 22:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

mumofone2019 · 14/03/2021 22:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 14/03/2021 22:06

Hard one , don't think he should round up but also don't totally agree about doing family for free
My dh did work for his ds ( dh is qualified tradesman) although working ft elsewhere so he did it at weekends and some evenings and took someone to help couple days , he spent prob close on 100 hrs there and charged as agreed and it kicked off and now they don't speak
Yet his ds got the work done for less than half someone else would of charged and my dh free time is also worth something
My mum will often pay him if he does bits or at least offer as he is doing in his free time , normally though if its just few hes here and there he refuses money.
So not right he is charging for 10
Mins especially as family

okokok000 · 14/03/2021 22:06

Your mum may be aware and doesn't want to rock the boat. Your partner's behaviour is pretty disgusting to be honest.

Good on you for you for sticking up for your mum, but personally I wouldn't be able to look at him in the same way again.

I'd also be making clear that any "help" you offer to his family in future, be it a cooked lunch or a helpful clean or trip to the supermarket will be similarly billed by you.

If he was going to rip her off / treat it like a normal job (he sounds like a cowboy tbh) he should have made that clear and not make out he was offering as a favour so she could have decided if she wanted to go elsewhere.

WhereamI88 · 14/03/2021 22:10

Police and dump his arse. Your mum is a gull time carer for your bed bound dad...and he's taking advantage of her. I can't believe you haven't dumped him yet

Ontheboardwalk · 14/03/2021 22:12

My friend charges £150 a day for decorating. Fully skilled, all the tools and does the job quickly and efficiently. He also pays insurance, tax and everything else out of this money

He did work for my mum half price which based on your partners 10 hour days is only £7.50 an hour and he would have it done in half the time of an amateur and his dad. He also wasn’t earning during this time. Some was done over weekend but not all of it

He's ripping you both off

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 14/03/2021 22:15

@Hiddenmnetter that is very cheap for a professional painter, you were lucky as prepping walls and skirting and under painting then glossing takes time, in fact a lot of the painters I know say the hard work is the prep

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 14/03/2021 22:15

Does he have an actual job that he had to take time off from or anything like that?

Saltyflowers · 14/03/2021 22:16

I think hes deceptive, sneaky, disgusting and pervey
Going by your other thread on him overcharging poor mum is the least of your worries

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 14/03/2021 22:19

Also £10 an hr is not professional rates by any shot , min wage is nearly £9 and a professional will have to cover all other costs
Its not horrendous that he is charging either in my opinion as its his free time , but should only be charging for hrs worked and sticking a couple curtain poles is more a favour
I don't agree with some on here never charge family and friends as when dh was working as trade he would of ended up working all his free time for nothing

Snowstorming · 14/03/2021 22:21

Honestly I rarely post on these threads but I needed to say this:

  1. Pay him what was originally agreed. Be strict.
  2. Dump him. Immediately. You deserve someone who isn’t such a CF.
sweetnessnfight · 14/03/2021 22:22

Your partner is an arsehole LTB

Adios2011 · 14/03/2021 22:23

I think some people are not understanding that he isn't a professional!!! So he shouldn't be charging anywhere near trade prices or even minimum wage!

Hope he's declaring this £1400

TokenGinger · 14/03/2021 22:24

Wow. I am truly shocked at this thread. If my partner tried to make £1,400 out of my mum, he'd no longer be my partner. When you're family, you do things out of the goodness of your heart. My mum is a painter and decorator and she has never, ever charged a family member. Ever.

We're currently doing a renovation and she's been decorating our rooms for us and again, isn't charging a penny, and she won't take a penny if I gave it to her anyway. As a side note, we've bought a new tv so we're giving our other to my mum as she's been wanting a Smart TV for ages so I feel better giving her something for her efforts.

£1,400 is shocking and there's no way I'd stay with a man who has such little respect for my mother to take the piss out of her like this.

There's no way on Earth my partner would ever charge my mum for anything he does for her. As I said, we're family, and he'd do anything for my mum just because he loves her.

Getbusylivingorgetbusydying · 14/03/2021 22:24

My BIL who is a brickie, with the help of DP built our extension for free. We paid for all materials, fed and watered him for the time he was here, and he did it on weekends and days off. We got someone in to do the footings and concrete base, then BIL built it. We offered to pay but he absolutely would not allow it, so we always do extra special treats for birthdays/Christmas.

You partner is a shit.

PapaSierra · 14/03/2021 22:27
Angry
TokenGinger · 14/03/2021 22:27

@donewithitalltodayandxmas

Hard one , don't think he should round up but also don't totally agree about doing family for free My dh did work for his ds ( dh is qualified tradesman) although working ft elsewhere so he did it at weekends and some evenings and took someone to help couple days , he spent prob close on 100 hrs there and charged as agreed and it kicked off and now they don't speak Yet his ds got the work done for less than half someone else would of charged and my dh free time is also worth something My mum will often pay him if he does bits or at least offer as he is doing in his free time , normally though if its just few hes here and there he refuses money. So not right he is charging for 10 Mins especially as family
Your DH charged his own son for work? Wow. That's terrible. No wonder it all kicked off.

I can't imagine my mum ever taking money off me for giving her time and her trade to me to make my life a bit easier with less financial pressure.

If you can't give your time to your kid, what can you give?

Azuretwist · 14/03/2021 22:33

Do you live together?

If not does he come to you and you feed him? If so, start charging him - £10 per hour, rounded up, plus time to shop for ingredients and travel costs for shopping!

LeaveItToWeaver · 14/03/2021 22:34

Honestly this would be LTB territory for me. DH is an electrician and has done work for my DPs and DB & DSIL and wouldn't dream of taking a penny from them.

MadeForThis · 14/03/2021 22:34

He's intentionally robbing her. And telling you about it.

WrongWayApricot · 14/03/2021 22:35

It is normal for tradesman to charge the whole hour. It's just not normal for family to charge for the whole hour. Might as well have hired someone you didn't know if he's going to be like that.

Purpleneonpinkunicorns · 14/03/2021 22:36

I agree with others and leave the scumbag.

There is NO WAY I could stay with somebody who is conning my family.

  1. - kick the scumbag out.
2.- don't pay a penny. 3.- report the piece of shit that he is. 4.- ask your mum to check house to see if anything has been stolen as It really wouldn't surprise me.

And who the $^&* charges for there bus and train fare.. surely If his dad's is retired he has a free bus pass?

Pet8 · 14/03/2021 22:38

He is shameless. What a piece of shit. My relationship couldn't recover from this.