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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/03/2021 07:41

Cokie3
OP, you don't sound anywhere near furious, you sound tepid, luke warm. I would be FUCKING LIVID! I would demand he charge her 600 MAXIMUM. I would also tell him I would be telling her the truth about what he is doing, and saying you will personally make sure that not only will your mother NOT pay the bill, but you will expose him on Facebook, AND that your relationship with him is O.V.E.R.

He is a maggot, a grub who is SCAMMING your mother! Where is your backbone? Get your angry woman's pants on read that fucking scumbag maggot the RIOT ACT! 600 MAXIMUM. Or, you will expose him to her and Facebook/the town you and him/and his dad lives in.

DO NOT under ANY circumstances let him get away with this. She is your MOTHER! She and your father are frail, you NEED to be their defender, their advocate against scamming maggots like your partner. He needs to be gone from your life, and your mother needs to know the truth about how that maggot is scamming her. He is NOT your partner, he does NOT love you, he is USING you and your mother for money. For goodness sake, STOP HIM!! And kick him back to the sewer where he belongs!

I second every word of @Cokies post.

He's not worth the steam off your p*ss - get rid of him.

Potpourriandpennysweets · 16/03/2021 07:49

Do they have a contract? If I was her I wouldn't pay him a penny and let him take it to the courts.

Potpourriandpennysweets · 16/03/2021 07:52

A painting and decorating service would have charged much less, been done much more quickly too. I wouldn't have though you'd spend more than £800-£900 for 5 days work, and you wouldn't pay for the number of people doing the job, just for the service IYSWIM? He should be laid a flat rate, then pay his Empolyee/dad.

I bet he is not paying the proper tax on this or anything. He's just taking the piss, and mostly out of your poor mum

abeanbaked · 16/03/2021 07:55

This is ridiculous, we're decorating and my MIL is helping, our electrician neighbour did all of our new sockets and spotlights for £80 (his materials) and my FIL helps with things too. We did give the neighbour some extra because he is just too kind but I wouldn't dream of demanding that sort of money from elderly relatives. His dad sounds a massive knob aswell!

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 16/03/2021 07:59

@Hydrate pro's rate is not £10 an hr and i don't need to negotiate anything for my parents , what do you even mean by that

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 16/03/2021 08:02

@SakuraEdenSwan1 I don't treat my family anyway , they just don't expect free work and for my dh to take time of work and work for them for free as they know we need to eat as well and would never take advantage of him

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 16/03/2021 08:02

@Somethingkindaoooo well it was his sibling which I also mentioned in the post

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 16/03/2021 08:08

@Kitkat151 if all your family expects free work then yes , my mum and dh mum and his sibling have needed a lot of work done at their houses , they would not expect my dh to do for free , but then he is a qualified tradesmen and he would be turning down paid work
He has done various bits for free of course but larger jobs they have pad but well under , like his sibling job had been quoted £2500 so he did for £700 so a huge saving but still meant we could eat

GabsAlot · 16/03/2021 09:44

thats the thing @donewithitalltodayandxmas

op partner isnt a tradesman he isnt paid to do this as his job

BarefootByMoonlight · 16/03/2021 10:16

@MumInBrussels

Does he owe someone £1400 he doesn't have? That's the only possible reason I can think of for being this much of a thieving bastard and trying to get the original agreed on sum that he in no way deserves, not least because there's been no plastering, which would have been included in that 1400.

So, if I were you OP, I'd ask him why he needs this money badly enough to try and cheat your mum. Hopefully, if he doesn't actually need the money, it might make him rethink what an utter bastard he's being.

Since he quoted £1400 which included the plastering and is trying to still charge £1400 without the plastering I think @MumInBrussels has hit the nail on the head.

It’s not who it’s for, or what work has been done, or how well, or the timing....

It’s about the £1400. He needs £1400 for something and whatever the work/timing/quality/relationship, he is determined to get that £1400.

All the rest seems irrelevant in light of the original amount quoted is still what he’s trying to get.

Perhaps asking him why that specific amount has remained the same despite the change of work from plastering+decorating to just decorating @Lleeaahh1992

He needs £1400 for something.

Thedogscollar · 16/03/2021 10:39

I actually can't believe what I'm reading here. What an utter shitbag.
OP there are NO excuses or reasoning for this.

Your Mum is very vulnerable and caring for your bed bound Dad and your shit of a bf just ripped her off royally.

Get rid I don't know how you can bare to even look at him. What a bastard.

Hydrate · 16/03/2021 12:25

What I meant is, because you feel your mother was to agreeable to what he asked for, whereas you sound assertive and would have made sure he was not taking advantage. I am picturing your mum as having her hands full with caring her bedridden spouse and not in the best health, so not caring too much and just wants to get it over with, but felt obligated to let him do it. Maybe I have the wrong picture. And maybe she is too independant to let you arrange it.

Hydrate · 16/03/2021 12:49

Our friend charged us £4 per hour to help install new floors and build/ renovate a wall
But that was 15 yrs ago. We have never hired painters.

TheOnceAndFutureQueen · 16/03/2021 18:11

[quote donewithitalltodayandxmas]@TheOnceAndFutureQueen and your mum hasn't offered him anything , I find that strange as well I wouldn't dream of a family member doing all that for nothing [/quote]
She has done in the past but he never accepts. It's not what he does for a living and he's happy to help her out as she's really tight for money. She feeds him well though!

MNWorldisCrazy · 22/03/2021 10:40

@Lleeaahh1992 Are you ok? Did you confront him? Thanks

RLJ1905 · 22/03/2021 11:25

This is pretty disgusting of your DH.
He shouldn't be charging your mum AT ALL!

My friend came over to help me paint my walls. Coffee, biscuits and some lunch was all she would accept! Blimey, op. Your poor mum.

BadNomad · 22/03/2021 12:28

Wow! I hope she charges him back for everything him and his dad used while there. The kettle, the microwave, the toilet etc. Greedy fucker.

BlueDahlia69 · 18/04/2021 13:12

@Lleeaahh1992

did you resolve your Mum being over charged 🌸

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