Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
Bubblyliquid · 14/03/2021 20:37

What does he usually do for 'work?' is he currently unemployed (guessing he is and nobody will employ him as he's a dickhead).

He's got no moral compass, just think he's ripping off your own mum, who's a bloody carer!!! Just think what else he's capable of. The first thing you want out of partner is someone who has pride, morals and trustworthy.

I'd tell him if he doesn't charge your mum for how many hours you've worked out that you can take the family to the small claims court - and good luck with that if he's not paying tax (and probably claiming benefits!!!)

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 14/03/2021 20:39

OMG He's ripping her off. My Dh just did a friends bathroom with his joiner friend. 3 long days £120 a day as the daily rate and the friend bought the materials themselves.
He's showing you who he is you better listen, he has no scruples.

littlejalapeno · 14/03/2021 20:40

Nah this doesn’t sound right at all. I would be reconsidering if I even want a relationship with someone who treats family like that

flowerbombVR · 14/03/2021 20:40

What a loser! Surely this is a wind up?

leopardprintpants · 14/03/2021 20:40

This is honestly the most disgusting thing I have ever read on Mumsnet.

What a scum bag 🤢

Rewis · 14/03/2021 20:41

I dont have an issue with charging for the work. It was quite a big job and not just few hours of "helping out".

My issues is that he is throwing in your face that he had previously done a favour for free. That hat people do for family. Also it seems that he wants to maximise profit which is crap.

I think that mum paying for materials, maybe travel, provided lunches/dinner/tea and a set amount of £ depending on the work.

I'd be tempted to ask for a quote from an actual painter to compare? I know it is not OP's responsibility. But I would actually be tempted to pay some of it instead of mum to the partner. Especially if they live together. I'm not gonna say LTB but it is worth considering if this is a part of a bigger picture.

PegasusReturns · 14/03/2021 20:41

Do you desperately need the money? I can’t understand how you could tolerate him behaving like this.

Inpersuitofhappiness · 14/03/2021 20:41

I'm honestly speechless at how much of a cheeky fucker your partner is. In our circle there's a lot of trades. I couldn't imagine DH or me saying to someone who were close to, ill give you a hand and treating it like a business arrangement, despite it being what pays our bills. A friend said last week they want something doing in their house but its expensive. I said, DH will do it, feed the man well and he's yours for a couple of weekends. I would be so let down if he felt that every minute he was at a family members house was billable, especially when his skills aren't professional level.

I understand that your partner is trying to make some extra money, I get it, but he could have said a couple of hundred quid! Youre doing me a favour, I'm doing you a favour, and he couldve walked away with money for a few treats for the family, without absolutely fleecing your poor parents.

It doesn't sound like your parents are wealthy or have an easy life, and he is an absolute scumbag.

I'm sorry but what he's doing is abhorrent, it shows him to be a scheming, sleazy, nasty scummy person. Is he usually like this?

NettleTea · 14/03/2021 20:42

but he is saying they agreed £1400 beforehand, but beforehand they thought that the dad would be doing all the plastering, and tbh, he is the only one who is a professional here.

So no way £1400

as he also agreed. £10 per hour actually worked.

And then add on the travel, and note it as a seperate entity, because seriously, I know not a single decorator who asks for his travel to be covered.

He sounds nasty, and he sounds aggressive.

Penistoe · 14/03/2021 20:43

I don’t agree with the not being paid comments he is a boyfriend not a husband so it not his family.
But he should only round up to half the hour.

Plumedenom · 14/03/2021 20:44

He is a piss taker. I would tell your mum, pay him exactly what was agreed for the hours worked, and that's generous. And then I would get rid of him, as he is a not a nice person.

LouiseTrees · 14/03/2021 20:45

@Lleeaahh1992

I will just feel guilty towards my mum if i dont say anything and knowingly let him do it. I know it is going to cause issues between me and him if i dont let it drop but im really angry but then at the same time i dont know if i should let it go as he has helped with bits for free a while back. He told me its normal for tradesmen to charge for the hour even if they only work 10 minutes or half an hour out of it i dont know how true this is. I only started keeping track of the start and finish times as on the first day he done 9 hours and said well i have earned 100 pound upto now as ill just charge for the 10 hour day because i have done loads an i said no you cant do that. So i have kept track since then.
But he’s not a tradesman.
Iwantamarshmallowman · 14/03/2021 20:45

As your dh he should be helping your dm out for free. My dh is a twat and he can't stand my dm but even he wouldn't stoop so low as to charge his mil for a bit of diy. Sorry but i agree with the op who called him a scum bag.. id ltb if i was you.

timeisnotaline · 14/03/2021 20:45

Neither dh nor I would ever charge the in laws. Plus his attitude to you about this. I’d pay the dads travel out of my pocket and end the relationship.

numberoneson · 14/03/2021 20:46

Dump him. Now. (preferably yesterday!) What an incredibly mean-spirited, cheap, CF. My Dad always did anything my grandparents' house or garden needed and wouldn't have dreamt of charging them a penny - they lived about 45 miles away too, so travel was involved. And my lovely late husband would travel from the north of Scotland to Edinburgh regularly to help my widowed Mum: he'd have been aghast at any suggestion he took money from her. Your partner's a waste of oxygen.

CJsGoldfish · 14/03/2021 20:46

I'm not sure if MN is a true reflection when it comes to family charging for work

I can honestly say that I don't know any family that would 'charge' each other. Or friends. Most have the philosophy that it all comes back around. And, in my experience, it does. With a range of different skillsets, we help each other when needed.

Charging a family member is completely foreign to me but the way this twat is going about it is especially abhorrent

millymae · 14/03/2021 20:46

I feel for you OP ( and for your mum)
As to your partner I have no words - if I’ve read it right he didn’t exactly rush to do the work yet he wants what seems to me to be an awful lot of money plus travelling expenses for his dad who wasn’t really needed as the plastering had already been done.
I don’t think he should be asking to be paid for his labour and certainly not for his dads travelling expenses but equally if your mum is anything like mine I know she want to give him something for the work he has done.
If it ends up that your mum feels she has to pay what he’s demanding I’d be making damn she took as long to pay him as it took him to start the work, and as his partner I’d leave him in no doubt that he’d gone well down in my estimation .
Being entirely honest I’m another who couldn’t share my life with someone who thinks it’s OK to rip people off like this.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 14/03/2021 20:47

@MiaowMiaow99

Jesus wept.

What an awful man. He's ripping your mum off and not even trying to hide it from you.

We got a professional painter and decorator round before xmas, a friend of my husband who charged mates rates. Ceilings and walls emulsioned, 2.5 days = £100.

2 and a half days £100!!!! He didn’t rip you off, more like the other way round, if that’s true!
havingadogisfun · 14/03/2021 20:47

Frankly he's got to go.

Why on Earth would you be with someone like this?
Your poor mum - you are complicit in this

PRsecrets · 14/03/2021 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 14/03/2021 20:49

Please tell me you don't have children with this person. Run for the hills. He's telling you the type of person he is

pollylocketpickedapocket · 14/03/2021 20:50

@GreyhoundG1rl

How embarrassing for you, being tied to such an arse.
Helpful
waitingpatientlyforspring · 14/03/2021 20:51

I can't believe your dh is charging. Unless his job is painting so he would be loosing income then it doesn't seem right. If they were working for free then paying travel is fair but as they are being paid they don't get to charge for their getting to the job.

I wouldn't be happy if I spotted a trades person charging for hours they hadn't worked, especially if the choice not to work the full hour was theirs but I guess it would depend on the contract we had agreed to.

CandyLeBonBon · 14/03/2021 20:51

The job altogether is going to come to about 800 plus just over 200 for the materials.

What was he painting? The Sistine chapel??
He sounds like a materialistic con artist.

Roszie · 14/03/2021 20:53

Have you been with this prince long OP?

Swipe left for the next trending thread