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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
hm246 · 14/03/2021 20:29

I’d be disgusted if my partner treated my mum this way! I couldn’t be with someone who treated my family with such disrespect.

AfternoonToffee · 14/03/2021 20:30

pinksparkly I think that is very fair, I'm not sure if MN is a true reflection when it comes to family charging for work.

caringcarer · 14/03/2021 20:30

What happened to family and mates rates? My dh used to dig my Mum's garden because she was family. I would not stand by and allow anyone including my dh to rip off my Mum. You should tell your M the actual hours he worked and tell her how much she owes him as was agreed. Then he would have to contradict you which he might find hard to do.

Remona · 14/03/2021 20:30

What have I just read?! Angry. That’s disgraceful. I would be apoplectic with rage if I were you.

Paying for his father’s travel too? Fuck that. Unbelievable.

He’s just plucked a figure out of thin air and he’s doing all he can to get the final bill to that figure.

And he expects you to keep out of it? This is your mother. Your MOTHER. How dare he.

Of course tell your mother. Keep schtum until the work is done. Sit down with your mother and calculate exactly how many hours have been worked and what he’s owed (rather than the pie in the sky figure he’s concocted). Pay him and then dump the cheeky bastard. All cash in hand too for him and his father. I’m sure the tax man/benefits office would be interested to hear about this. You can always use that against him when he kicks off.

grapewine · 14/03/2021 20:31

He's not even a painter. What a twat.

Avidreader12 · 14/03/2021 20:31

If it’s family and not a specialised trade then I’d just expect to pay for materials. He’s being unreasonable and surely it will leave a bitter taste behind. Tell him your mum wants receipts for the materials.

CJsGoldfish · 14/03/2021 20:32

In our family, we'd take the money for materials but nothing else. Of course, my mum would slip a few dollars in his hand or cook him a nice lunch every day. The idea of charging your mum that way is repugnant to me.
I would NEVER let anyone treat my mum that way. I'd actually tell her she is NOT paying that amount of money. Then I'd kick his arse out.

To be completely honest, I'd judge you more harshly if you let your mum pay up and keep him around than him trying to rip her off. He's clearly an arse, it hasn't come out of nowhere so he was always going to be a twat about it all. This is YOUR mum though and giving in and accepting it is condoning his disgusting behaviour.

Everythingiswonderful · 14/03/2021 20:32

@Defmy

You should pay what you've worked out she owes, ignoring the travel nonsense, and dump him instantly.
It does sound like they have done a lot of work so agree with above payment then get rid.

Him saying your mum agreed to it is because she probably feels pressured into agreeing to pay now most of the work is done.

Whyarewehardofthinking · 14/03/2021 20:32

I would be embarassed and mortified if my partner charged my mum for help with decorating and sorting out the house.

LivingOnAnIsland · 14/03/2021 20:32

£10 per hour is peanuts.

Iwonder08 · 14/03/2021 20:33

OP, I can't imagine a husband of mine charging my parent anything at all. Your is not only charging her a standard market rate per hour, but he also is trying to cheat. Honestly, I would get rid of him either way, so for now I would concentrate on getting the quote reduced to the level agreed before. Remind him about the previous arrangement, how utterly ridiculous to charge for commuting and if he is being difficult remind him of HMRC

Comefromaway · 14/03/2021 20:33

£10 per hour isn’t cheap if he’s charging for hours not worked and I bet he’s not doing the job anywhere near as quickly and efficiently as a proper tradesman.

Lacucuracha · 14/03/2021 20:33

OP, pay him what you think is the rig he price for the job.

I’ve done this with a dodgy bathroom fitter, I held back money to fix his shoddy work.

Lacucuracha · 14/03/2021 20:33

*right

Baabaagreensheep · 14/03/2021 20:34

You need to tell your mum and protect her from this.

He's not your family, he clearly values money above you and your mum.

Have my first LTB. I can't see how there would be a way back from this.

EpiphanySoul1 · 14/03/2021 20:34

My parents friend is a plasterer by trade. He drove in his van and hour and half to my house when I moved in and plastered 3 walls for me and refused to take a penny.

Your partner sounds horrible and is definitely taking advantage.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 14/03/2021 20:34

@Christmasfairy2020

He should do it free!
I think he’s taking the piss but why exactly should he work for free?
shouldistop · 14/03/2021 20:34

2 years ago we paid an actual painter & decorator £1000 to paint 3 bedrooms, dining room, living room, hall/stair/landing & kitchen

Mmn654123 · 14/03/2021 20:35

I’d leave him, yes. Anyone who takes advantage of my mum wouldn’t be sharing my bed any longer! Definitely time to LTB!

Merryoldgoat · 14/03/2021 20:36

@GreenlandTheMovie

Phone the police?! For what?

OP - your partner is vile but you know that, don’t you?

SpeakingFranglais · 14/03/2021 20:36

£10 is also not cheap if it’s a cash in hand DIYer without any trade.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/03/2021 20:36

@AfternoonToffee

pinksparkly I think that is very fair, I'm not sure if MN is a true reflection when it comes to family charging for work.
Thanks, I wasn't sure whether to post or not! There was a lot DH didn't charge for but there's no way Mum would have let him decorate the house for nothing. If a job took less time than he thought he'd always reduce the price and not increase it if it took longer. They both knew where they stood and I was happy knowing Mum had someone she could trust in the house as she was blind.
Jeschara · 14/03/2021 20:36

You really need to think long and hard about staying with this man. He is a scumbag of the 1st order.
£1400 he is charging her. He is not a tradesman, just someone who does DIY.
This man is ripping off your Mum, he sounds nasty and immoral in my opinion. I dont believe in doing something for nothing, but he is bloody greedy and taking advantage.

Crewtshirt · 14/03/2021 20:36

Honesty - i would dump him.

What a scumbag. He's not a tradesman and he should never have charged in the first place. Your mum should have bought the paint and filler and nothing else.

I will say it again.

Scumbag.

chocloc · 14/03/2021 20:37

I thinks it's time for you to start charging for any 'little jobs' you have done!! Washed his clothes 20 pounds.......
He is awful for charging your mom that much. If anything you would usually get a discount for family.