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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my partner overcharging my mum for work he has done?

568 replies

Lleeaahh1992 · 14/03/2021 19:33

My mums house was in a state of disrepair and needed plastering painting and lots of old furniture getting rid of her house hadnt had anything done to it for 25 years. My mum isnt in the best of health and is also a carer for my dad who is bed bound.

My partner offered to do the painting and get his dad to help him as his dad is a retired plasterer and painter. My partner isnt a painter but is pretty good at it, but he cant plaster thats why he was getting his dad to help. Anyway it turned out the housing association done the plastering so she only needed some things polyfilling and the house painting. He said he would get his dad anyway as it would be quicker that way.

It was agreed they would be paid £10 per hour each, he said they would probaly be working 10 hour days but if it varied they would only charge for the hours worked.

Anyway my mum waited two months for my partner to start as he kept putting it off but finally started last week and has just finished. The thing thats bothering me is most of the days he has worked, he has finished at a half hour or less so e.g 7.5 hours, 6.5 hours and so on and his dad only worked 3 days out of the 7. He has now said any day that he finished part way through the hour even by 10 minutes he is charging the full hour because thats how it works he says. So altogether he is charging for 6 lots of half hours that he didnt work, and 3 lots of half hours for his dad that his dad didn't work. And he is charging 39 pound for his dads travel for the 3 days he worked. So altogether it is £84 added onto the bill. Im not happy about this because he agreed with my mum he would only charge what they worked and said nothing about travel for his dad .

When iv broached it with him he has told me to keep out of it as he is the one sorting it out and he done some bits an bobs for free a few months ago like dismantling and removing furniture because my mum was struggling. Shall i stand my ground and say this is unfair and was not agreed to or just leave him to it?

OP posts:
GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 14/03/2021 20:22

Of course you should tell your mum!

And you should tell your scamming, hopefully soon to be ex-partner, to go fuck himself.

Teardrop2021 · 14/03/2021 20:22

I'd dump the sack of shit.

Dojasayso · 14/03/2021 20:22

If you stay with him after this OP then you are so wrong.

Greedy, stingy, nasty wrong'un.

KitesFlyingInTheWind · 14/03/2021 20:22

He is cheeky.
The absolute most he should charge for is materials.

mrsbitaly · 14/03/2021 20:22

Obviously I know this doesn't help but never ever ask family or friends to a pai job I've seen it end in tears many times. I think he is being unreasonable and although I understand it might not be possible to do it for free I certainly think hw could have offered a discounted rate rather than trying to scrape every penny possible for work that didn't take up the full time. I wouldn't want to be in your position though as these things can turn nasty.

Pootles34 · 14/03/2021 20:22

Oh knickers - I was so outraged about this I accidentally pressed YABU - when I actually meant the opposite. In case you were wondering who on earth clicked YABU - it was me. Sorry... But yes he should have done it for free- is he normally like this? Is there a back story?

cansu · 14/03/2021 20:23

Tell him very clearly that he will pay what you worked out. He is doing a cash in hand job for his girlfriend's mum. Paying an hourly rate is fair enough but it is not fair enough that he is charging for his dad's travel or that he is charging for time he hasn't worked.

harknesswitch · 14/03/2021 20:24

He's not a normal tradesman though is he... when you pay a tradesman £10 an hour you're paying them for their experience, their tools, their travel (so that's him taking the piss with his dads travel), any fuel they use, their insurance, their liability insurance, their tax and the list goes on. Plus they also any changes either the initial estimate regardless of how long they take or ONLY the actual hours they do.

Your dp is wholly taking the piss and basically ripping an OAP off. He's no better than these scammers that go door to door selling shite. Disgusting behaviour.

Lacucuracha · 14/03/2021 20:24

@Pootles34

Oh knickers - I was so outraged about this I accidentally pressed YABU - when I actually meant the opposite. In case you were wondering who on earth clicked YABU - it was me. Sorry... But yes he should have done it for free- is he normally like this? Is there a back story?
You can change your vote Grin just once tho
Closetbeanmuncher · 14/03/2021 20:24

He sounds like a scummy twat

This, with bells on

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/03/2021 20:26

I wouldn't automatically judge someone for charging family. DH is a handyman and he did a lot of work for my Mum and yes, he used to charge her but at reduced rates and per job, not per hour. If he hadn't she wouldn't have let him do the work as she knew he could have been being paid by someone else. I'd rather she paid DH than get some random in.

However, if I'd found out he was ripping Mum off too right I'd have got involved!

countbackfromten · 14/03/2021 20:26

I would be leaving any man who treated my mum like this.

Thatwentbadly · 14/03/2021 20:27

That’s a lot of work. It took 15 days for a professional painter to paint my playroom, large kitchen/dinning room, hallway, bathroom and one bedroom. He didn’t always do full days but he was charging for the job. It’s normal for a painter and decorator to charge per job.

I would be seriously reconsidering my relationship with your bf.

WisnaeMe · 14/03/2021 20:27

@countbackfromten

I would be leaving any man who treated my mum like this.

me too .. no hesitation 🌺

grapewine · 14/03/2021 20:27

The update is so outrageous. I would be livid. What a CF.

Wouldn't be able to look at him. Bastard.

Inpersuitofhappiness · 14/03/2021 20:27

If he isn't a trade he knows fuck all about what a company would and wouldn't fucking charge.

I have a construction company, and yes our quotes would be significantly more per hour, but I can guarantee work would be to a higher standard and a damn sight quicker than your cheeky fucker and his old dad, and there would be tax paid from the lads.

Hes a cheeky up his own arsed twat. He's right taking the piss out of his partners parents, who the fuck does he think he is?

I am so sorry you are with a man like this, and charging £40 for his dads travel of 8 miles per trip. Absolutely disgraceful.

If he wants a cup of tea off your mum, she needs to be charging him costa prices, wants a sandwich? That'd be £3.50 in greggs! Fancy a Sunday roast with the family? He needs to pay £10for his plate.

Fucking outraged on your behalf.

SarahBellam · 14/03/2021 20:28

Your boyfriend is an absolute scumbag. Imagine trying to rip off your girlfriend’s mum. What an utterly, utterly, shitty thing to do.

MegaScared · 14/03/2021 20:28

Disgraceful. I'd leave my DP if he did that to my Mum. But he wouldn't. He does jobs for her all the time for free because she's family. She's my Mum. She can't do it herself and doesn't have anyone else. She would only ever pay for materials and never for his time. Your partner sounds like a massive bastard.

NovemberR · 14/03/2021 20:28

He's an utter dickhead. Your mum is in poor health - and a carer for your dad - and this scumbag is ripping them off?

How could you ever have sex with him again? Seriously.

You need to dump him permanently whatever the outcome of this again. Does he not make your fanny cringe?

Pollypudding · 14/03/2021 20:28

It’s not OK but I am wondering if your Mum has not quibbled the cost because she thinks you will also benefit- or your household IYSWIM?
Personally I think mixing business and family rarely ends well. if he was doing this as a favour for your Mum then could have asked for materials to be paid for.
He sounds dishonest.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 14/03/2021 20:29

If you've kept track of the hours they've done, I would work out your own bill being completely honest with the hours he's done.

I'd play him at his own game and add on the travel costs so he can't say you're doing him out of anything they've 'earned'

I'd tell your mum to pay them for what they've done and then get someone else in to finish the 'extras' - curtain poles etc and tell him he's never doing work for them again.

And then I'd rethink my relationship and if I wanted to be with someone who'd rip off my own family!!

MiaowMiaow99 · 14/03/2021 20:29

Jesus wept.

What an awful man. He's ripping your mum off and not even trying to hide it from you.

We got a professional painter and decorator round before xmas, a friend of my husband who charged mates rates. Ceilings and walls emulsioned, 2.5 days = £100.

SpeakingFranglais · 14/03/2021 20:29

He’s either an apprentice trainer painter, or plaster or a cowboy. He is taking the piss and ripping your poor mum off.

pastacaring · 14/03/2021 20:29

Honestly I am amazed. I could never respect him after this. He sounds like a dreadful person OP. He charged your family for whole hours of work after working only 10 minutes of them and then just added hundreds to the final bill because it was the quote given. I am furious on your behalf and so sad for your mum and dad.

Flipflopfoodle · 14/03/2021 20:29

My sister's ex of 8+ years is not only a trademan, but a craftsman, he works on listed buildings, he still nips to my mum's and does her DIY in exchange for a cake. Don't use him again for anything, he's making a lot of cash in hand for a very simple job.